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❤️🙂

“It was me. I let the dogs 🐾ut.”
(2)
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❤️🙂

“The 🐾 dog 🐾 has been fed. DON’T FALL FOR HIS LIES.”
(3)
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❤️🙂

“My cat thinks I’m kind of a 😍BIG DEAL😍.”
(3)
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❤️🙂

“I was the boss 🐾 until 🐾 I got a cat.“
(2)
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❤️🙂 goood moning, have a NICE thursday!

“I wish I could text my dog.”
(2)
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❤️🙂 sometimes you just need to read some grumpy quotes…

“Smile? I am smiling.”

“Some babies were dropped on their heads. But you were clearly thrown at a wall.”

“If you’re happy and you know it, clap your face.”

“Every silver lining has a cloud.”

“See you tomorrow? Thanks for the warning.”
(5)
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❤️😉

“Mosquitoes are like family. Annoying but they carry your blood.”
(4)
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❤️🙂

“I hate people who steal my ideas, before I think of them.”
(2)
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❤️🙂

“Not to brag
but I’ve been avoiding people long before the virus outbreak started.”
(4)
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❤️🙂

“I procrastinate so much I’ll probably put off death and never die.”
(1)
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❤️🙂

“This is not what adulthood looked like in the brochure.”
(5)
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❤️😉

“If I got paid by the amount of stupid people I deal with instead of by the hour, I could retire by next week.”
(3)
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❤️🙂

“I see dead people. Well technically they are stupid people, but give me a few minutes.”
(2)
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❤️🙂

“Without stupid people we would have no one to laugh at. Take the time and thank a stupid person for their contribution.”
(1)
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🙂

“I get enough exercise pushing my luck.”
(4)
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😉 we all know people like that…

“Qualified to judge you.”
(2)
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🙂☕️☕️☕️☕️

“You can all come out now, I’ve had my coffee.”
(3)
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❤️🙂

“When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.”
(1)
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❤️😉😎☃️☃️☃️

“Nice until proven naughty.”
(2)
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❤️😉😎🎄🎄🎄

"I have been good-ish all year."
(1)
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❤️🙂🎄🎄🎄

“Why doesn’t Santa eat junk food? Because it’s bad for your elf!”
(1)
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❤️🙂🎄🎄🎄

"What do you call a chicken at the North Pole? Lost."
(1)
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❤️🙂🎄🎄🎄

Santa Claus running with his list to the sleigh.

A reindeer:
Chill, dude - it’s just toys. It’s not like you’re delivering a vaccine or anything.
(2)
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❤️🙂

"For convenience sake, I'm considering having our family reunion in the parking lot of a liquor store."
(1)
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❤️😉

"I can't believe I'm related to these people."
(2)
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❤️🙂

To quote Hamlet, Act III, Scene III, Line 87, "NO".
(1)
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❤️🙂

"You just have to take it one "are you f**** kidding me" at a time."
(1)
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❤️🙂

"I'm stuck between a rock and someone I'd like to hit it with."
(1)
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❤️🙂

"It's not that I want more shoes, it's just that they keep making them in my size."
(1)
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❤️🙂🥩🍔🥗🍝🍤🌯

"According to serving sizes, I'm a family of four."
(2)
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