I decided to start a joke discussion because we as caregivers need our load lightened. We need to laugh at our own situations and those of others to take away the sting and pain we go through. If you have a joke that's racy then give a heads up at the beginning of your post for those who might not want to read your post. We need to avoid that kind of humor. Please don't come on this thread and berate anyone for their choices of humor. This is our place to let go of criticism. Thanks for sharing!!!! ;o)
“Now hiring,” read the classified ad. “Cemetery superintendent. The ideal candidate must be able to supervise in a fast-paced environment.”
“BREAKING NEWS…
Several people out of millions on twitter offended about something you don’t care about.”
“BREAKING NEWS…
Wearing a mask inside your home is now highly recommended. Not so much to prevent Covid-19 but to stop eating.”
“BREAKING NEWS…
The world is almost out of common sense.”
Senior Citizen Texting Code:
BFF: Best Friend Fell
BTW: Bring The Wheelchair
BYOT: Bring Your Own Teeth
GGPBL: Gotta Go Pacemaker Battery Low
IMHO: Is My Hearing Aid On
LMDO: Laughing My Dentures Out
ROFLACGU: Rolling On Floor Laughing And Can’t Get Up
TTYL: Talk To You Louder
“The scientific theory I like best is that the rings of Saturn are composed entirely of lost airline luggage.”
“What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? In that case, I definitely overpaid for my carpet.”
“I’m wondering who ate my bowl of sunshine this morning?”
“In the beginning the universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move."
"When science finally locates the center of the universe, some people will be surprised to learn they're not it."
“I have CDO. It’s like OCD, but all the letters are in alphabetical order AS THEY SHOULD BE.”
“I hate when people can’t let go of the past. Debt collectors are the worst.”
“Funny guys are dangerous, they’ll make you laugh, and laugh and laugh then boom you are naked.”
“Excuse me, which level of h3!! is this?”
“Nope. Not feelin’ this whole Monday thing.”
“Well played Monday…I wasn’t expecting you.”
“Here’s a little song I wrote…Where in the h3!! did my weekend go?”
“Sorry I can’t go out today. There’s a couch stuck to me.”
“Being a couch potato is dangerous, someone may get hungry and eat you!”
🥰 so sweet! thanks a lot, isthisrealyreal.
now, where was i?…oh yeah, scratching my xmas reindeer antlers on my head, while i drink my sunday tea. although i love coffee jokes, the funny thing is…i never, ever, ever drink coffee.
🙂
“You know how you just wake up some mornings and you feel so refreshed and cheerful, you’re like. ‘I don’t even need coffee’? Yeah. Me, neither. And I don’t trust anyone who says they do. Uncaffeinated freaks.”
Jokes needed to lighten our day. Enter at your own risk!
I decided to start a joke discussion because we as caregivers need our load lightened. We need to laugh at our own situations and those of others to take away the sting and pain we go through. If you have a joke that's racy then give a heads up at the beginning of your post for those who might not want to read your post. We need to avoid that kind of humor. Please don't come on this thread and berate anyone for their choices of humor. This is our place to let go of criticism. Thanks for sharing!!!! ;o)
This^^^^^^^^^^
Bundle, thank you for ALL of your jokes and "bits of wisdom". You are appreciated. :-)
“If you aren’t procrastinating a little bit today, you’re just not doing Sunday right!”
"I'm a mog. Half man, half dog. I'm my own best friend."
"You don't get smarter as you get older. There is just less stupid stuff left that you haven't already done."
"I don't know if my body can handle much more of this "getting out of bed" nonsense."
"I made it through the day without beating anyone with a chair. I'd say my people skills are improving."
“…I’m still tired from yesterday’s tired. Today isn’t looking so good, and I’ve already used up tomorrow’s tired.”