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😉

“Where can I download motivation?”
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🥰

“On those truly insane days, apply face directly to wall.”
(2)
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🥰

“I’ve just been diagnosed with NCD. No Can Do.”
(1)
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🙃

hi bandy7, not my problem that you have a problem with it.

have a GREAT sunday!! enjoy it!! 🥰
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🥰

“The path to inner peace begins with four words: not my *** problem.”
(2)
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🥰 happy sunday everyone!! i hope every day you’re getting closer to your goals, and how you want your life to be.

i loved your jokes, sendhelp, poodle, inmyshoes. made me crack up. 🙂

have an AWESOME sunday everyone!
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🥰🐕🐕🐕🐕

“Do you think regular dogs see police dogs and think…oh*** it’s the cops!”
(5)
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😇

“Caution:
When someone says get a grip, apparently around the neck is NOT what they meant.”
(3)
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🙄

“Oh boyyy, who left the bag of idiots open?”
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😇

“Some people are such treasures that you just want to bury them.”
(2)
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🙂😇

“If I make you breakfast in bed, a simple ‘thank’ you is all I need.
Not all this ‘how did you get in my house?’ business.”
(4)
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🙄

“The last time I saw you, I was hoping it was the last time I saw you.”
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🥖🥖😍😍

“All you knead is love.”
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🍞🍞🥖🥖😍😍 true…

“Bakers make the world smell better.”
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🍞🍞🍞😍😍😍

“I loaf you dough much!”
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🙂

“Man cannot live by bread alone; he must also have peanut butter.”
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❤️😉

“I came from a real tough neighborhood. Once a guy pulled a knife on me. I knew he wasn’t a professional, the knife had butter on it.”
(2)
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❤️🙂

“You can always tell when a man’s well-informed. His views are pretty much like your own.”
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🥰

“IF I AM SILENT it’s because there’s thunder inside me. Or I’m just chillin, it depends. May the odds be ever in your favor.”
(2)
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🙂😇

“Having a dirty mind makes ordinary conversations much more interesting.”
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❤️😉

“Someone just honked to get out of my parking spot faster so now I have to sit here until both of us are dead.”
(1)
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❤️😉

“If you are lonely, dim all lights and put on a horror movie. After a while it won’t feel like you are alone anymore.”
(2)
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❤️😉

“I believe in you. I also believe in Bigfoot so don’t get too excited.”
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🙂

“I found out that saying, ‘There, there little girl,’ to an angry grown man only makes things worse.”
(3)
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❤️🙂

“I HATE having a messy house. Not enough to actually clean it, but enough to give it a really disgusted stare from my seat on the couch.”
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“Mood: nah”
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❤️😉

“There is nothing so annoying as to have two people talking when you’re busy interrupting.”
(2)
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“Thou shall no try me.
Mood 24:7”
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“That awkward moment when you’re texting and auto-correct decides to join the conversation.”
(2)
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❤️😉

“Hey, are you a software update? Because not now.”
(1)
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