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dear bandy,

you take care of yourself now.
🥰 have a great day!
(1)
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🥰 monday…

“We interrupt your happiness to bring you Monday morning. Your regularly scheduled happiness will resume on Friday. Sorry for the inconvenience!”
(4)
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🥰

“When does hibernation start because I am 100% participating in that.”
(7)
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dear bandy,

hug! i’ll continue as i do.

i hope your day is good! there is a way to unfollow the joke thread, this way you don’t receive notifications of new jokes.
(5)
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🥰

“I’m glad my pet can’t talk. He knows too much.”
(8)
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🙂

“I don’t like the fact that my chances of survival seem to be linked to the common sense of others.”
(5)
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❤️🙂

“Bring COFFEE and a DONUT. Set them on the desk. Do not speak. Do not make eye contact. Back away slowly.”
(4)
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🥰 since you mention books…

“How to shop with a bookworm: Enter the bookstore. Keep eyes on your bookworm at all times. Wow, ok, you lost them.”

“When trouble strikes, head to the library. You will either be able to solve the problem, or simply have something to read as the world crashes down on you.”
(3)
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🥰 hug!

they are quotes, therefore not my invention. they are not from a book. i’m very good at finding funny things here and there.

many of us caregivers go through rough times. i try to make us smile/laugh. i also feed my elderly LOs jokes, daily, so they start the day laughing with their breakfast.

have a nice sunday!
(6)
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🥰

“Me: Finally gets 8 hours of sleep.

My neck and back: Congrats! But you did it wrong.”
(7)
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🥰

“I wonder how much of what weighs me down is not mine to carry…”
(7)
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🦥🦥🦥🙂

“I like to sleep a lot, so I have the energy to sleep more.”
(4)
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🦥🦥🦥🙂

“Come to the sloth side. We have naps.”
(3)
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❤️🙂

“I’m going to be very busy in the afterlife. The list of people I’m going to haunt grows every day.”
(3)
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❤️🙂

“I want to pause adulting & lower the difficulty."
(3)
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❤️🙂

“My whole life can be summed up in one sentence: ‘Wellll, that didn’t go as planned.’”
(5)
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❤️🙂

“I’m the kind of person who goes to a party…and makes friends with the dog.”
(6)
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❤️🙂

“Being a person is getting too complicated. Time to be a unicorn.”
(4)
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❤️❤️

“With my luck, I will probably die the day after I get my s*** together.”
(3)
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❤️🙂

“My boss said I intimidate coworkers. I stared at him until he apologized.”
(5)
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❤️🙂

“I’m afraid if I give up sarcasm, I would have to replace it with murder.”
(4)
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❤️🙂

“I am too insane to explain and you are too normal to understand.”
(3)
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🥰 wishing you a GREAT weekend.

"The umbrella was originally just going to be called brella. But the inventor hesitated.”
(3)
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❤️🙂

“Me as a therapist: Did you try nachos and a margarita?”
(4)
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😉

“Pretty sure I only need one more bad decision and I will have the whole set.”
(3)
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❤️🙂

“Life tip: Do you.”
(1)
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🥰

"Life is short. Make sure you spend as much time as possible on the internet arguing with strangers about politics.”
(4)
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🙂

“Please stop asking Santa for the perfect woman…3 times he tried to kidnap me this week.”
(3)
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“Legend says when you can’t sleep it’s because you are awake in someone else’s dreams…When I find out who you are, I’m going to punch you right in your face.”
(2)
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🥰

“My dream job would be driving the karma bus.”
(1)
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