I decided to start a joke discussion because we as caregivers need our load lightened. We need to laugh at our own situations and those of others to take away the sting and pain we go through. If you have a joke that's racy then give a heads up at the beginning of your post for those who might not want to read your post. We need to avoid that kind of humor. Please don't come on this thread and berate anyone for their choices of humor. This is our place to let go of criticism. Thanks for sharing!!!! ;o)
❤️ 🙂
"Desperate times called, they want their desperate measures back."
🙂 "I have a ton of excitement in my life. I used to call it stress, but I feel much better now that I call it excitement."
“Monday checklist: coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee.”
“I hate mornings and Mondays. And working. But other than that I am entirely happy.”
❤️ 🙂
"I’m not addicted to coffee, we’re just in a committed relationship."
"Coffee. Smile. Laugh. Repeat."
"Can I call you back in a few cups of coffee?"
"Follow your heart, but take coffee with you."
"This is the last Monday of this week."
"I'm holding a cup of coffee so, yeah I'm pretty busy."
"Once in a while someone amazing comes along and here I am."
"Adulthood. May your coffee be stronger than your problems!"
"Today is one of those days that even my coffee needs coffee."
"I want to K I - - you. Options may vary."
"Forget love, fall in coffee."
🙂 "If you are agitated and confused my work here is done."
❤️ 🙂 “When life give you lemons, trade them for coffee."
"Coffee helps me maintain my 'never killed anyone' streak."
"I don't care if the glass is half empty or half full - is there coffee in it?"
"Coffee. Because murder is wrong."
"I'd rather take coffee than compliments just now."
"Step aside coffee. This is a job for alcohol."
“OCD. Obsessive Coffee Disorder."
"Coffee. Because anger management is too expensive."
"I love days when my only problem is...tea or coffee."
"Coffee. Because sarcasm needs to stay hydrated."
"I made a huge to-do list. I'm just trying to figure out who's going to do it."
“Everyone has a guardian angel. The lucky ones have a Snoopy.”
“I have selective hearing. I’m sorry: you were not selected.”
“Be you! The world will adjust.”
“To strengthen the muscles of your heart the best exercise is, lifting someone else’s spirit.”
She walked with the sun
danced
with the moon
and spoke
to the stars
honestly it was
super weird.
So I've been thinking
and I'd like for that
to stop.
-----
I remember
before you started talking
my lunch was warm
and I was happy.
-----
If you think
this is bad
just wait
it is.
-----
This sounds like
something
I don't care about.
-----
I have 99 problems
and I am
all of them.
-----
I feel very attacked
because of that
true thing
you just said.
-----
Only God
can judge me
and honestly
he's not a fan.
-----
If you don't have time
to do it right,
when will you have time to do it over?
Anything
you can do
I can do
a little bit worse.
“What do sea monsters eat? Fish and ships."
😢 "Sadness (noun). When you go to the fridge, look inside, then leave the kitchen empty-handed."
(wise proverb)
"Walking to the fridge to get a snack."
(bundle of joy quote)
“If you ever see me jogging, please kill whatever is chasing me."
“Life is short. Run the race. Get the medal. Eat the free banana.”
“I thought they said RUM.”
🙂 “I run better than the government.”
“If you want to go running with me, you’d better be prepared to walk a lot.”
“If my body is ever found dead on a jogging trail, just know I was murdered elsewhere and dumped there."
“A yawn is a silent scream for coffee."
"A day without coffee is like...Just kidding, I have no idea."
"All things are possible with coffee and mascara."
"A poem about work: Coffee, Blah blah blah, Drive home, Wine."
🙂 "I'm so altruistic. I snack so my kitchen doesn't get lonely in between meals."
"Went outdoors. It was cold. There were people. 0 stars. Do not recommend."
“I hope the guy who invented auto-correct burns in hello!"
“I'm very good at seeing an opportunity after it has ceased to be one.”
🙂 “Isn’t it nice to think that tomorrow is a new day with no mistakes in it yet.”
How do you do that, Haha
driving half the time
going twice as fast, Hihi
“Auto-correct can go straight to he’ll.”
I’m tired of arguing with auto-correct. We’re having your name legally changed to Sandcastle Watermelon.
"It's either me or my home...It seems both of us can't look good at the same time."
🙂 "Don’t rush me, I’m waiting for the last minute.”