I decided to start a joke discussion because we as caregivers need our load lightened. We need to laugh at our own situations and those of others to take away the sting and pain we go through. If you have a joke that's racy then give a heads up at the beginning of your post for those who might not want to read your post. We need to avoid that kind of humor. Please don't come on this thread and berate anyone for their choices of humor. This is our place to let go of criticism. Thanks for sharing!!!! ;o)
You only need a parachute to go skydiving twice.
Should I put this on the "suicide" thread? 🤭
Sorry. 🦝️
Getting Lucky refers to remembering where your car is parked after you've finished shopping
An All Nighter means not having to get up in the night to go to the bathroom
Getting Some Action means the extra fiber you ate yesterday is working
Your sweetie says "let's go upstairs and make love" and you say "Honey, I can't mange both"
Momma always said if a child is old enough to ask a question they deserve an age appropriate truthful answer but we got down into the periodic table to define what a chemical was... and then a discussion of using vinegar-salt-dawn natural weed killer vs man made chemical weed killers!
But it can muffle the sound...
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“The key to happiness is low expectations.
Lower.
Nope, even lower.
There you go.”
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“A recent study has found that women who carry a little extra weight live longer than the men who mention it.”
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;) “I miss my pre-internet brain.”
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:) "I don't need an inspirational quote - I need coffee."
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"Obsessed is a word the lazy use to describe dedicated."
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:) "Cow philosophy: And, as you travel through life's journey, don't forget to stop and eat the roses."
Thanx for making my afternoon.
Have a great weekend, everyone!
"Me (young, naïve): I hope something good happens.
Me (now): I hope whatever bad thing happens is at least funny."
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"I wonder how many people think, "What the f*ck?" after talking to me."
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"The good news is, I'm pretty much who I say I am.
The bad news is, I'm pretty much who I say I am."
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"More issues than Vogue."
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:) "My mind is like my internet browser. 19 tabs open, 3 of them are frozen, & I have no idea where the music is coming from."
time for some more quotes from bundle of joy :)
"Let's drink and judge people."
"We are all born ignorant, but one must work hard to remain stupid."
:) "Every single day, the stupid gets stupider..."
"I have the brain of a genius. I keep it in a jar."
:) "Think positive! For example: I fell down the stairs today and thought, 'Wow! I sure fell down those stairs fast!'"
here are some funny quotes on exercising:
"Goal weight: one chin."
"Just saw 3 people jogging outside & it inspired me to get up & close the blinds."
"You never realize how long 1 minute is until you exercise."
"I get most of my exercise these days from shaking my head in disbelief."
we all know this one:
"Carrying an umbrella makes forecasted rain less likely to fall."
but here's a real estate pro tip (for those who are currently selling the house):
"If your house is for sale and you aren’t getting any showings, leave a pair of underwear on the floor when you leave the house. That’s the day you get showings…"