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Margaret: Good one.
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As he had feared, his directions had been forgotten, and everyone had brought potato salad.
(5)
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“Perfect has 7 letters. So does foooood. Coincidence? I think not.”
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:) “You only live once…lick the bowl!”
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“Ask not what you can do for your country. Ask what’s for lunch.”
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:) “How about we take this to the bedroom…I whispered to my snacks.”
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A cat with a pen in his paw:

This deal smells fishy...where do I sign?
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"A motorcycle cannot/will not fall over without an audience."
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:) "Cheer up, the worst is yet to come..."
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:) "Sometimes I just want someone to hug me and say, 'I know it's hard. You're going to be ok. Here is chocolate and 6 million dollars.'"
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"Friends ask questions; enemies question you."
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:) "Life is like underwear, change is good."
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:) "All great changes are preceded by chaos."
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:) "If you want to make enemies, try to change something."
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"I feel sorry for people who don't have dogs. I heard they have to pick up food they drop on the floor."
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:) "Always listen to your dog."
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"Denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance...The 5 stages of waking up."
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"I don't struggle with depression. Like at this point I have it down. I'm good at depression."
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"If you need anything from me, reconsider."
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"Everyone had an uncle who tried to steal their nose."
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"I NEED A HUGe amount of money."
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"Today I found out that if you treat others the way they treat you...They seem to get very upset."
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“I hate to cancel. I know we made plans to get together tonight, but that was two hours ago. I was younger then, and full of hope.”
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Remember there's no such thing as a small act of kindness. Every act creates a ripple with no logical end.
Scott Adams
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:) “The older I get, the meaner I get. I’m pretty sure it won’t be long before I start biting people.”
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:) "In my experience, most arguments are caused by a misunderstanding of the fact that I'm right."
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"Calories (noun). Tiny creatures that live in your closet and sew your clothes a little bit tighter every night."
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:) "Make yourself at home. Clean my kitchen."
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This too shall pass. It might pass like a kidney stone, but it will pass.
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:) “Sorry. Yesterday was the deadline for complaints.”
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