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I have a cute watercolor painting of a peacock in my bathroom that says “If you wake up feeling like you’ve had it, be grateful”. Double entendres, right? I get a little laugh from it. If only…

I got it at an art fair probably 30-odd years ago.
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🙂🌈😉

”Compete until your haters brag
they know you.”
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We have heard of the phrase 6-7 being used by the in-crowd kids as a private code or joke, often meaningless.

I wonder if they have ever heard of 9-5 and know what that means for their
life growing up?
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BOJ,
Hugs back to you!
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hahaha 🙂

hug, sendhelp!
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That must be what I did wrong when reaching the point of "just about had it."

Forgot to announce it.

Too late now.
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😉
“Excited to announce that I have just about had it.”
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❤️ "Don’t make me repeat myself.”
—History
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🙂🙂🌟
“What did I say to annoy you?
I may want to say it again.”
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🙂🌈
How do you show your wife who’s the boss in your home?

Hold a mirror up to her face.
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😉
“You CAN have everything you want…But sometimes you have to change what you want.”
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Written instructions on "how to remove leaves from your lawn".

By Ray King
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🙂🙂
“People who sleep all night without waking up, how does it feel to be God’s favorites?”
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😉🌸
Sometimes it’s better to be alone,
especially when you have food.
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Cher belts out the song:
"If I could turn back time..."

Well, now we all can turn back time this Sunday.
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Our cleaning lady just called.
She is working from home,
and will call in to give us instructions
on what to do.
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🙂🙂
"If no one from the future came to stop you, how bad can it be?"
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I don't like elevator music

why?

it is so bad on so many levels
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🙂🎄🎄❄️❄️
“Dear Santa,
It was just 🎅🏻 a phase…”
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❤️🙂
"When in doubt,
blame Monday."
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❤️🙂
“I decided to kill off a few characters 
in the book I'm writing.
I feel it will really spice up my autobiography.”
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🥰
Do you ever wake up,
kiss the person sleeping beside you,
feel glad that you’re alive?

Well…
I just did
and apparently I won’t be allowed on this airline again.
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2 guys walk into a bar...3rd one ducked...da-da-dum. lol.
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“A caregiver in bed will remain in bed until acted upon by a large enough panic.”
—Newton’s lesser known fourth law
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🙂🙂

Caregiver flu:

It’s like the regular flu, except no one cares.
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😉😉
Common sense is so rare these days, it is qualified as a super power.
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😉😉

I have hor*rible taste in men.
If I have ever liked you, please work on yourself.
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Officer stops a trucker and asks: "Didn't you see the red light?"

"Yes, I saw it" he says.

Officer says: "then why didn't you stop?"

Trucker answers: "Because I didn't see you."
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Not a joke, but a story that I found funny from our friend John. He was married as a young man in Melbourne. Two weeks later his bride’s father had a stroke, and she went back home ‘to do her duty’. After some terse discussion, John quit, left Melbourne, and like many embittered young men he went north. He stopped at Alice Springs, where marriage was definitely optional. Like many other men, he found another partner and settled down. Some years later, they went south for a holiday. Having a snack at a pavement cafe in Melbourne, a strange woman stopped and said hello....“Who was that, an old friend?” …… “Well actually she’s my wife”! Now he was reminded, he got a divorce.
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😉
You are enough.




We don't need more of you.
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