I decided to start a joke discussion because we as caregivers need our load lightened. We need to laugh at our own situations and those of others to take away the sting and pain we go through. If you have a joke that's racy then give a heads up at the beginning of your post for those who might not want to read your post. We need to avoid that kind of humor. Please don't come on this thread and berate anyone for their choices of humor. This is our place to let go of criticism. Thanks for sharing!!!! ;o)
A blonde goes to the doctor because she hasn't been feeling well.
Tests are done and the doctor enters the room with news that she's pregnant!
The blonde is beyond shocked and replies, "Oh my gosh! Is it mine??" :D
If you have a senior moment and can't think of a word say "I forgot the English word for it". That way people will think you're bilingual instead of an idiot.
I'm at a place in my life where running errands counts as an outing.
I see stories about people my age climbing mountains, I feel good about getting my leg into my pants without losing my balance
so.... if a cow doesn't produce milk is it a milk dud or an udder failure?
today, i saw some funny demotivational quotes.
don't take it seriously. it's just some funny quotes.
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“You can have results or excuses. Excuses it is.”
“The more you weigh, the harder you are to kidnap. Stay safe. Eat cake.”
“The best way to lose weight is to only eat inspirational quotes.”
“Welcome to adulthood. I hope you like Ibuprofen.”
“Killing someone with kindness sounds like a lot of work to me.”
“There is no problem so big you can’t run away from it.”
“Be yourself. No one else wants to be you.”
“Every bad thing that happens today is a direct result of choosing to get out of bed.”
“If your phone battery lasts all day, it’s because no one likes you.”
“There are two types of people in the world and I hate both of them.”
“Ninety-five percent of conversations are an unbelievable waste of time.”
“People are really great as long as you don’t get to know them.”
“You are a background character in a much more interesting person’s story.”
"Never stop trying to exceed your limits. We need the entertainment."
You need a rough draft before you make the final copy.
She's 67 now, and we don't know where she is.
Sanka
What do you get when you cross the Atlantic Ocean with the Titanic?
Halfway
When someone else's grandma yells Bingo!
He plugged his electric blanket into the toaster by mistake - and kept popping out of bed all night!
Polaroids!
What's an ig?
A snow house without a loo!
Why does it take longer to build a blonde snowman than a regular one?
You have to hollow out the head.
Why did Frosty the snowman want a divorce?
Because he thought his wife was a flake
Getting a job in the Arctic in the winter is great! Why?
When the days get short, you only have to work a 30 minute work week.
since you're up please grab some chips and drinks...
Take it easy, you'll just have to be a little patient.
"Well doc, you told me to take this medicine for three days, then
to skip a day. All that skipping wore me out!"
Her moms days, because white is the color for happiness and today is the happiest day of her life.
The little girl thinks a moment and says, then why is the groom wearing black?
They eat whatever bugs them!
I'm the new C-I-E-I-O
Beef jerky!
Thanks for posting sometime ago, and providing a nice Sat. morning respite of humor.
He's a fungi!
Frostbite!
Because they're all quacks!
By the bark!
A bulldozer!
It’s going to be Alpaca-lyptic.
I got spit on by a farm animal and thought it was the end of the world.
It was just the alpaca lips.
Here it is already, the year 2022, and the smart Canadians have already banned Soylent!
i think very relevant for us:
Hobbes:
What are you mad at ME for?!
Calvin:
Get away from me! I don't even want to talk to you!
Hobbes:
YOU broke your beanie motor, not ME! I didn't do anything!
Calvin:
You distracted me!
Hobbes:
I did not! I was just sitting here! You broke it all by yourself!
Calvin:
*sniff*
*sniffle*
...All right...I know...
But considering my life's in shambles right now, couldn't you at least take the blame?
It's called Pino More!
Reality!