I decided to start a joke discussion because we as caregivers need our load lightened. We need to laugh at our own situations and those of others to take away the sting and pain we go through. If you have a joke that's racy then give a heads up at the beginning of your post for those who might not want to read your post. We need to avoid that kind of humor. Please don't come on this thread and berate anyone for their choices of humor. This is our place to let go of criticism. Thanks for sharing!!!! ;o)
until I see the trailer.
Pop!
...Only 15 more to go!
To start off the new year in a cool way.
It's too far to walk.
It’s December 31st.
He got 12 months!
Times Square.
One was charged and the other was let off.
One says:
“My New Year’s Resolution is to stop putting my foot in my mouth all the time…I’ll bet yours is losing weight, huh?”
“Remember how much fun we had that night we slept under the stars? We may get to spend our whole retirement doing that.”
“If you’re calling to say you love me, press 1. If you’re calling to say you miss me, press 2. If you’re calling to ask what’s for dinner, press 3 on the microwave.”
One says:
“My husband and I used to share a toothbrush. Now we have trouble sharing a planet.”
“Here’s our new retirement plan - at age 65, we’ll get divorced then marry other people who planned better.”
“These have 50% fewer calories than other chocolates. I ate half of them.”
“Your mother and I need more time to save for your college education. We’d like you to go back to Kindergarten and start over.”
A man makes it to heaven.
His life report is read to him:
“…and you spent 6.35 years of your life deleting spam from your email.”
Little boy: Wow! All that meat and no potatoes!
The box says:
for Waldo.
Mother points downwards at the snowman:
“Timmy!!! That’s - not - where the carrot goes!”
…if you have already sent us your payment, please accept our apology for the death threat and warm wishes for the holiday season.
Fortune teller:
“The good news is, you’ll be spending Thanksgiving with a large group of happy people.”
Doctor:
“The next time you lift someone’s spirits, lift with your LEGS, not your BACK.”
I’m very busy this time of year, so I’ll keep my Holiday Newsletter brief.
My family is much happier and more successful than yours, so you should be very jealous.
Season’s greetings.
C. S. Lewis
“Keep Xmas in your heart all year long. It will leave less room for cholesterol.”
“It’s not a rash, it’s moss. You need to start being more active than a tree.”
“You say ‘itsy-bitsy spider, but Daddy says ‘eensie-weensie’ spider. You should have discussed this kind of thing before you decided to have children.”
Therapist says:
“You’re allowed one small carry-on, but each additional piece of emotional luggage is an extra $10.”
“I’m hoping someone will steal my identity. I’m tired of taking responsibility for my own life!”