I decided to start a joke discussion because we as caregivers need our load lightened. We need to laugh at our own situations and those of others to take away the sting and pain we go through. If you have a joke that's racy then give a heads up at the beginning of your post for those who might not want to read your post. We need to avoid that kind of humor. Please don't come on this thread and berate anyone for their choices of humor. This is our place to let go of criticism. Thanks for sharing!!!! ;o)
Try strapping your pillow to your head?
Or maybe it's because the pillows are many torn pieces and it absorbs the memories?
Maybe our brains are in our feet?
Hmmm? Here's to hoping you remember $#!+ today. ;-)
It's because you don't have your memory foam shoe inserts in. ;-)
He has a newt on his shoulder.
Bartender asks, What's that on your shoulder.
Man says that's a newt.
Bartender asks, what's his name.
Man says, his name is Tiny.
Bartender says, that's an odd name why Tiny.
Man says cuz he's my newt.
Headline: Neuroscientists discover 4 rituals for happiness.
Me: clicks link
link: Sorry. This page does not exist.
A farmer was driving his tractor towing a wagon full of manure past an insane asylum. An inmate saw him and asked “What are you doing with that manure?” The farmer replied “I’m going to put it on my strawberries.” The inmate said “Come in here. We get cream on our strawberries!”
Dolly is a legend - she's still got it alright 🤩
Silly I know, soz. But gave me a chuckle as most of the grocery shops around here are all on the 'exposure site' list today 😄
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SnBtOPUMyqU
That reminded me of Dolly Parton. I’d love to hear it with all the backing:
https://www.bbc.com/news/world-us-canada-56261397
That was my computer’s start-up message this morning. Not quite sure why it made me laugh!
She took it home, wrapped it up and presented it to her husband for his birthday. He unwrapped it, looked at it and asked what it was. She said “It’s a Wooly Bugger.” Her husband replied “Yeah. Right! Wooly Bugger my a$$!”
Teens: "Let's play hide and seek. We'll count, and you go hide. You have one minute."
Kids quickly ran away and hid around the gym.
Teens: "Yay! We lost them." (Continue talking to each other...)
The kids waited many many long minutes for the teens to go look for them, finally came out to ask...
Kids: "Why didn't you go look for us?"
Teens: "Oh, we forgot. We'll count again. One minute."
Kids ran away again.
Many minutes later...
Kids: "You didn't go look for us. You tricked us. We'll never fall for your trick again."
Teens: "Ok. Thirty seconds."
Kids hurriedly scattered.
'Washington DC is a city of Southern efficiency and Northern charm' John F Kennedy
On his first day in basic training the Marines issued him a comb.
That afternoon they cut off all his hair.
On the second morning they issued him a tooth brush.
that afternoon they yanked seven of his teeth.
On the third morning they issued him a jock strap.
The Marine Corps has been looking for Herman for the last fifty one years.
the baby wouldn't take the breast and she said."Come on sweetie ,eat it up or ill have to give it to this nice man next to us."
five minutes later the baby still refused to suckle.
the young woman said."Come on honey take it or ill give it to this nice man."
A few minutes later the man blurted out."Come on kid make up your mind.I was supposed to get off this bus four stops back!"
my friend said "oh no, I didn't know , did you see a doctor about it?"
I said back "did you know I have short memory loss?"
Q: She had three children, right?
A: Yes
Q: How many were boys?
A: None
Q: Were there any girls?
Q: So the date of the baby’s conception was 8 August
A: Yes
Q: And what were you doing at that time?
Q: Can you describe the person you saw?
A: He was about medium height and had a beard.
Q: Was this a male or a female?
We will be telling them at dinner tonight.
My answer, "No, they all seem to enjoy it."
Lost hearing in left eye today.
Yesterday my daughter e-mailed me, again, asking why I didn't do something useful with my time. "Like sitting around the pool drinking wine isn't a good thing".
She is "only thinking of me," she said, and suggested, I go down to the Senior Center and hang out with the fellas. So, I did and when I got home, decided to play a prank on her. I sent her an e-mail saying that I had joined the Senior Parachute Club.
She replied, "Are you nuts? You're 79 years-old and now you're going to start jumping out of airplanes?" I told her that I even had a Membership Card and e-mailed a copy to her.
Immediately, she telephoned me and yelled, "Good grief, Dad, where are your glasses?! This is a membership to a Prostitute Club, not a Parachute Club."
"Oh man, am I in trouble," I said, "I signed up for five jumps a week!"
The line went dead.
Life as a Senior Citizen isn't getting any easier, but sometimes it can be fun.
Feeling disillusioned? Great new illusions on sale now in our July catalogue!
Q: What gear were you in at the time of the collision?
A: Just Tshirt and jeans.
Q:And where was the location of the accident?
A: Close to milepost 498.
Q: And where is milepost 498?
A: Between milepost 497 and 499.
Q: All your response must be oral, OK? So, what school did you go to?
A: Oral.
I am a little late to the party but all I can say is OUCH!
It is embarrassing to admit I had to look this up!
Q: Now doctor, isn’t it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn’t know about it until the next morning?
Q: The youngest son, the six year old, how old is he?
Q: Were you present when your picture was taken?
Q: How was your first marriage terminated?
A: By death.
Q: And by whose death was it terminated?