Follow
Share
Read More
Find Care & Housing
If you have to ask me, "Is this Thursday?" then, to you, it really doesn't matter what day of the week it is.
(1)
Report

Wow, that was rather inappropriate.
Let's be friends.
(1)
Report

A group of kids
is called a migraine.
(3)
Report

When killing them with kindness doesn't work

try voodoo.
(3)
Report

Just tell me when and where and I'll be there 20 minutes late.
(2)
Report

Do people still run away with the circus?
Asking for a friend.
(3)
Report

🙂 WATCH OUT
I'm having one of those days where I'm holding a stick and everyone looks like a piñata.
(4)
Report

🙂 Always remember to be nice to people who have access to your toothbrush.
(2)
Report

🙂🙂 Today's cardio: drinking my coffee fast.
(3)
Report

🙂 Today we don't have any motivational quotes, if you want to give up, give up.
(2)
Report

The difference between a miracle and a fact is exactly the difference between a mermaid and a seal.
(1)
Report

I was supposed to write a romantic comedy, but my characters broke up.
(2)
Report

Please
don’t breed.
(1)
Report

🙂🙂 It’s what I do.
I eat tacos and I know things.
(1)
Report

I went to the paint store to get thinner.
It didn’t work.
(2)
Report

🙂 some self-deprecating humour…

Instead of your spirit animal, what’s your spirit plant?

Rhododendron. Requires very specific conditions, but even when those conditions are met, it is unlikely to thrive.
(1)
Report

You repulse me the least.
(1)
Report

I love you more than I originally planned to.
(1)
Report

You’ll do.
(1)
Report

🙂 Anxiety is my cardio.
(1)
Report

Anxiety: THIS IS TOO MUCH.

Me: What is?

Anxiety: ALL OF THIS.

Me: I'm literally not even doing anything.

Anxiety: TOO MUCH.!!!!!!!!!!
(1)
Report

🙂 My anxiety
has anxiety at this point.
(1)
Report

Coffee (noun)

1. A warm, delicious alternative to hating everyone forever.
(1)
Report

Coffee.
Because sarcasm needs to stay hydrated.
(1)
Report

94% of people drink coffee
and the remaining 6% cry a lot.
(1)
Report

I don’t know what I’d do without coffee.
I’m guessing 25 to life.
(1)
Report

🙂 Happiness is
…being unable to stop laughing.
(2)
Report

haha!
(0)
Report

@BOJ

LOL. Funny you should mention the cart with the messed up wheel. I have never not gotten the cart with the messed up wheel.
On Friday, I went to the store and thought I'd be smart and take the messed up wheel cart back and get a different one. The different one was even worse.
(2)
Report

Sign outside of church:
Since Jesus is the Lamb of God
does that mean Mary had a little lamb?
(3)
Report

Start a Discussion
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter