Follow
Share
Read More
Find Care & Housing
99% of socks are single and you don’t see them crying about it.
(2)
Report

Is there life without internet?
Please send me the link.
(2)
Report

I swear microwave minutes are longer than regular minutes.
(2)
Report

Note to self:
It’s illegal to stab people for being stupid.
(3)
Report

Have we tried unplugging 2024, waiting 10 seconds and plugging it in again?
(2)
Report

I never said I hated you.
I just said that if you were on fire, I might consider roasting marshmallows.
Big difference.
(1)
Report

🤔
Do not duck with me.
(1)
Report

🤯🤯🤯🤯
what.
the.
actual.
duck…
(1)
Report

My life is an open book, but it’s very poorly written and I die in the end.
(3)
Report

Is it too late to wrap myself up like a baby and drop myself off on a billionaire’s doorstep?
(2)
Report

To do list:
1. Get ducks
2. Put them in a row
3. Keep them there
(2)
Report

Auto-correct has not yet figured out how often I swear and how rarely I talk about ducks.
(3)
Report

🙂🙂
Maybe swearing will help.
(1)
Report

🤯🤯😉😉

Brace yourselves
stress and indecision is upon us.
(1)
Report

I have never seen an empty DMV office. Where is this mythical paradise?
(2)
Report

A Polish immigrant went to the DMV to apply for a driver's license. First, of course, he had to take an eye sight test. The optician showed him a card with the letters:

C Z W I X N O S T A C Z

"Can you read this?'" the optician asked.

"Read it?" the Polish guy replied, "I know the guy!"
(4)
Report

The DMV
is where hope goes to die.
(1)
Report

🙂🙂 Do mood swings count as exercise?
(4)
Report

🙂🙂 Let’s see, which emotional issues shall I bury under deep layers of sarcasm today?
(4)
Report

🤯🤯 When you have to make coffee before you’ve had coffee.
(1)
Report

🙂🙂 If I'm not back in 5 minutes, just wait longer.
(2)
Report

true story...

My problem is that I have REALLY FANTASTIC
bad ideas.
(1)
Report

Fish (noun)

An animal that grows the fastest between the time it’s caught and the time the fisherman describes it to his friends.
(4)
Report

No good fish goes anywhere without a porpoise.
(1)
Report

A dog is not “almost human” and I know of no greater insult to the canine race than to describe it as such.
(2)
Report

Properly trained, a man can be dog’s best friend.
(2)
Report

Has anyone’s crush ever actually liked them back or does that only happen in movies?
(1)
Report

True love is having a crush on him even after he got a haircut.
(1)
Report

Disappointment
is really just a term for the refusal to look on the bright side.
(2)
Report

Disappointed (verb)

When you see your food coming in a restaurant and then it turns out not to be yours.
(2)
Report

Start a Discussion
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter