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Tombstone engraving: I told you I was sick.
(2)
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About empathy…

🙂 I need to stop walking in other people’s crap shoes.
(0)
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🪓 Let me help you!
Random axe of kindness.
(1)
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Mental note:

Actual notes work better
(4)
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It turns out that when asked who your favorite child is, you’re supposed to pick one of your own. I know that now.
(3)
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🙂 People are usually shocked when they find out I’m not a very good electrician.
(3)
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From a procrastination point of view, today has been wildly successful.
(5)
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I just want to let you know that if you ever need to have a plant killed,
I'm the person for that job.
(2)
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Yo!
Some of y'all didn't
collaborate and listen

AND IT SHOWS.
(1)
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Sweet dreams are made of cheese,
Who am I to dis a brie?
(1)
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Saying "have a nice day" to someone sounds friendly.
But saying "enjoy your next 24 hours" sounds threatening.
(1)
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We keep a potato masher in the drawer because
sometimes it's fun not to be able to open that drawer.
(2)
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I miss the 90s when bread was still good for you,
and no one knew what kale was.
(1)
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NOoooo, you haven't gained that much weight during the pandemic. C'mon...chin up. No, the other one.
(3)
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When you teach a wolf to meditate...
Then that wolf

becomes aware wolf.
(2)
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Someone asked me what to do with left over bacon. I have never heard of that kind of bacon. Is it new?
(2)
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Honestly, I've never seen anyone fall because of a banana.
(1)
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“I pretty much never sit by the pool anymore.”
—Marco Polo
(1)
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go ahead and change it if you want to! you can tell people, remind them who you are. people here do change their names; some accidentally lose their accounts. whatever reason. go ahead and do it, if you want. feeling good, is important.
(1)
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haha thanks! hugggg!
and i love being called bundle, or bundle of joy! makes me really happy and smile.
(0)
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Why do ants never get sick?

Because they have little antibodies.
(3)
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Why don't blind people skydive?

Their dogs hate it.
(4)
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A guy is in a doctors office. His doctor is there with him.

"I have two pieces of bad news," the doctor says.

"What are they?"

"Well, the first piece of news is that you have cancer."

"What's the 2nd piece of news?" he asks.

"Well, the 2nd piece of bad news is that you have Alzheimer's."

The man laughs and says, "Well, at least I don't have cancer."
(3)
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Why did the half blind man fall into a well?

He couldn’t see that well.
(4)
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Why do you never see hippos hiding in trees?

Because they're very good at it.
(1)
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Courage is knowing it might hurt,
and doing it anyway.
Stupidity is the same.
And that's why life is hard.
(11)
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This is not a joke but humorous. Might not translate unless you know someone with aunts acerbic wit.
For further context…DH aunt (97) has a new roomie, Cheryl. She is a younger woman. May only be in her late 60s. Nice thick hair in a pony, wears shorts sometimes and very outgoing. Maybe a little too needy for aunt.

She comments often that aunt won’t talk to her. she is mobile, able to wonder about and attend functions. Aunt, bedfast, on hospice for years, appreciates her privacy and doesn’t seem to want to interact, probably because she is not one to suffer fools lightly.
I leave it alone as aunt is still able to communicate her likes/dislikes. usually by closing her eyes and pretending to sleep. That takes care of most casual visitors.

Aunt really doesn’t talk often anymore to anyone but on a good day she will. She certainly isn’t going to talk on demand. I have advised Cheryl that it might take Aunt getting comfortable.

Aunts long time aide, Susie, was bringing her back from a shower. She had aunt all dolled up. Cheryl saw aunt and said “you look so pretty”.

Aunt said to Susie, the aide, “was she talking to me?” (probably the most Cheryl has heard her say)

Susie replied, “She said you look pretty”.

Aunt quickly quipped “Tell her I don’t have a dime”. Yep. She’s still in there.
(6)
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The definition of laziness: resting before you're tired.
(3)
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Hope we didn't need that.
--Me, vacuuming.
(2)
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Sadly, the days of people using proper English are went.
(1)
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