Follow
Share
Read More
Find Care & Housing
5 6 7 8 9
🙂
It’s not my fault you thought I was normal…
That’s on you.
(2)
Report

🙂
69% of people find something dirty in every sentence.
(2)
Report

😉
A conscience is what hurts
when all your other parts feel good.
(2)
Report

🙂
Share this
if you know someone who is alive today simply because you didn’t want to go to prison.
(3)
Report

🙂⭐️🌈
Good things come to those who,
book flights.
(1)
Report

🙂
Don’t tell me what to do
unless you’re naked.
(2)
Report

Don’t flatter yourself.
I only look up to you
because I am
short.
(2)
Report

Adulthood is wild
because one day
you get a little sleepy
and then you stay that way for the rest of your life.
(2)
Report

iSleepy
There’s a nap for that.
🙂
(2)
Report

❤️🙂
Most people don't act stupid...it's the real thing.
(3)
Report

🙂
Whenever I'm feeling fat, I try not to stress about it
and just keep my chins up.
(3)
Report

🤓

SEX!!!!!!

Now that I’ve got your attention…
SMILE and have the best day possible…

❤️🙂
(2)
Report

🌈🙂🌈
Today I’m drinking some positiviTEA.
☕️☕️☕️
(2)
Report

🙂🙂🙂
Not to brag
but I totally
got out of bed today.
(3)
Report

😍
Ladies, if he can’t appreciate your fruit jokes, you gotta let that mango.
(6)
Report

🙂🙂🙂
I just saw two zombies on a date. And they say romance is dead.
(1)
Report

🙂🙂🙂
Why aren’t koalas actually bears?
They don’t meet the koalafications.
(2)
Report

🙂
Worst thing you can do while cleaning
is to sit down "for just a minute".
(3)
Report

🙂
9 out of 10 times when I lose something...
it's because I put it in a safe place.
(3)
Report

🙂
I have the best taste in clothes.
I'm just too poor to prove it.
(2)
Report

🙂
Please stop warning people
not to ingest disinfectant. We
should let this one play out.
(2)
Report

🙂 true story

I'm a hero!
I just rescued a pair of shoes. They were trapped in a store.
(2)
Report

Siri, skip to Friday.
(2)
Report

🙂
Time is precious,
waste it wisely.
(2)
Report

I work for myself, which is fun.
Except when I call in sick, I know I’m lying.
(3)
Report

🙂
I’m so sick of my problems!
I want rich people’s problems. Like where to park my yacht.
(3)
Report

🙂🙂🙂
When does hibernation start?
I’d like to participate this year.
(2)
Report

🙂🙂🙂
I just cleared out some space in the freezer
sounds more productive
than I just polished off a pint of ice cream.
(3)
Report

🙂🙂🙂
I ate one brownie today instead of the entire pan.
Pretty sure I am a life coach now.
(4)
Report

😉
Nobody gets me like you get me.
There might be something wrong with you.
(2)
Report

5 6 7 8 9
Start a Discussion
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter