I decided to start a joke discussion because we as caregivers need our load lightened. We need to laugh at our own situations and those of others to take away the sting and pain we go through. If you have a joke that's racy then give a heads up at the beginning of your post for those who might not want to read your post. We need to avoid that kind of humor. Please don't come on this thread and berate anyone for their choices of humor. This is our place to let go of criticism. Thanks for sharing!!!! ;o)
My elderly great aunt, a prim and interesting character, used to invoke sympathy by telling how she’d been widowed three times. Her first husband got food poisoning from a tuna sandwich. Her second husband got food poisoning from a tuna sandwich.
“What an awful coincidence! And your third husband?”
He died of a blow to the head after refusing to eat his tuna sandwich.
She loved to occasionally shock people and watch their reactions. She was a bit like Ruth Gordon in Harold and Maude.
“I got food poisoning today. I don't know when I’ll use it.”
“Last week I forgot how to ride a bicycle.”
“I have a watch that’s 3 hours in advance, but I’ve never been able to fix it. So I moved from LA to NY.”
“I’m actually writing a short-story about a photographer who went completely insane trying to take a close up photo of the horizon.”
“If you tell a joke in the forest, but nobody laughs, was it a joke?”
“I got food poisoning today. I don't know when I’ll use it.”
“Last week I forgot how to ride a bicycle.”
“The best kind of friend is the kind you sit with, never say a word and walk away feeling like it was the best conversation you ever had.”
“Little toe: a device for finding furniture in the dark.”
“They say the universe is expanding. That should help ease the traffic.”
“When I get real bored, I like to drive downtown and get a great parking spot, then sit in my car and count how many people ask if I'm leaving.”
“Officer, I know I was going faster than 55MPH, but I wasn't going to be on the road an hour.”
Does the vacuum roller break , get stuck?
I have to take mine apart every so often . My daughter’s long hair would wrap around the ends so the brush wouldn’t turn .
The funniest stories are real.
If you are anything like me, and you absolutely hate having a dirty home,
especially dirty floors, I am about to give you the best advice ever.
It's not really that hard to have and maintain a clean home that meets your standards. There is just a few rules that you will have to enforce in your life.
Basically, don't ever have a husband, don't have children, don't have pets.
I know what you are thinking. I already have those things.
It is never too late to get rid of them.
.
I know, I know! Some of you won't think this is a joke.
Shame on you.
You start out wearing the beautiful gown,
but end up cleaning everyone's messes.
It's sad when you're sitting around waiting for someone to make dinner,
and then you realize, you're are the Mom.
A Mother asked to switch seats on a plane because she was seated next to a crying baby.
Apparently, that does not work if the baby is yours.
"There's nothing like being told I'm wrong by someone who depended on me for food, clothing, and shelter."