I decided to start a joke discussion because we as caregivers need our load lightened. We need to laugh at our own situations and those of others to take away the sting and pain we go through. If you have a joke that's racy then give a heads up at the beginning of your post for those who might not want to read your post. We need to avoid that kind of humor. Please don't come on this thread and berate anyone for their choices of humor. This is our place to let go of criticism. Thanks for sharing!!!! ;o)
"Does anybody wonder
why bacon comes in a resealable package?
What are people putting back in there???"
"If ever you feel down,
always remember -
You're a grown up, and
can have bacon whenever you want."
"There I was about to start working out.
Next thing I knew...
I was eating a plate of bacon. True story."
"What is the color of the wind?
Blew."
"Where do crayons go on holiday?
Color-ado."
"Why does Waldo only wear striped shirts?
Because he doesn't want to be spotted."
"Anxietea:
What if nobody likes me?
What if I taste weird?
What if I'm too cold?
What if I'm too hot?
What if I'm just right and I can never live up to it again?"
"How do monsters like their eggs?
Terri-fried!"
"I can't believe it's already time to put off my spring cleaning until next year."
"Website:
We use cookies to improve our performance.
Me:
Same."
"Don't know what's longer:
A microwave minute
or a treadmill minute."
"If good things are in store for me, where is the store??"
"When you decide to have a cheat meal, and all of a sudden it's 3 years later."
"When you've been eating healthy for the past 15 minutes
and STILL see no progress."
"Friend:
OMG, I LOVE your lip gloss. What is it?
Me:
It's pizza grease."
"I'm not dating to marry.
I'm dating to experience a painful break-up that kick-starts my weight loss."
"Killing people with kindness apparently isn't working...
I'll going to try voodoo."
"If you don't look back on your younger self and say, 'I used to be stupid,' you're probably still stupid."
"Due to personal reasons...
I'm ready to turn things up a notch."
"Life is so boring when you don't have an online order to look forward to."
"I got in a lot of trouble on a date recently, because I didn't open the car door for her. Instead, I just swam to the surface."
BFF Best Friend Fainted
BYOT Bring Your Own Teeth
CBM Covered By Medicare
LMDO Laughing My Dentures Out
FWB Friend With Beta-blockers
GGPBL Gotta Go Pacemaker Battery
Low
I friend of my father who was in his 90’s at the time used to say , “ I never buy green bananas because I may never get to eat them. “
I was wrong.
I need help.
And Worcestershire Sauce.
Threw out my back sleeping.
Tweaked my neck sneezing.
I swear I am one strong fart from total paralysis.
The last time I sprang into action was when my recliner broke.
I like this one:
"My mind thinks I am 25, but my body thinks I am an idiot".