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My friend thinks the English Channel is a cable station for the Brits
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😀
(3)
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😑
(2)
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❤️🙂 i'm still taking a break from the internet, buttttttt i must post this. i wait all year to say this.

MAY the 4th be with you.
❤️🙂
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Stay away from negative people
They have a problem for every solution
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❤️🙂 slogans athletes wore on their t-shirts to psych their opponents out...

"Call 911. I'm on fire."

"Damn, I hope you're good at something."

"If I let you score, will you go home?"

"Do your parents love you?"

"Even my shadow can't stay with me."

"I'll be signing autographs after the game."

"You wait while I go score."

"Don't laugh at him, you're next."
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My wife thought our kids were spoiled but I think most kids smell like that
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😉

"Don't worry password,
I'm insecure too."
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🙂

"How many instruments must you be terrible at before you start playing the triangle?"
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🙂

"People who say 'I hate to bother you' need to learn to hate it a little bit more."
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❤️🙂

"Is it just me, or does no one disappear in the Bermuda Triangle anymore?"
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🙂

"I hate hotel bath towels. So thick and fluffy I can't even close my suitcase!"
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🙂

"Teens don't know how good they have it with lyrics sites. We used to have to sing the wrong crap for years until the truth destroyed us."
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🙂

"My wife and I are very competitive. We laugh about it, but I laugh more."
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❤️🙂

"Security at every level of the airport is insane until you get to baggage claim. Then it’s like take whatever bag you want."
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🙂

"I wonder what the part of my brain, that used to store telephone numbers, is doing nowadays."
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🙂

"You make me a better person of interest."
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😇

“TEIAM — problem solved.”
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❤️🙂

“No matter what you’re going through, always try and help people.
Instead of saying, ‘F***k off’, ask, ‘How can I help you to f***k off?’
Be kind.”
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❤️🙂

“I wonder if you look both ways
before getting on my nerves.”
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🙂

“It is what it is.
And it’s not good.”
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🙂

“The worst things in your life probably haven’t happened to you yet.”
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😉

“When the going gets tough,
the tough gets tougher.”
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❤️🙂

January 1st: "THIS is my year!!!"

May 1st: "Emmmm..."
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❤️🙂

"DATING:
I can't believe we have so much in common.

MARRIAGE:
Please don't watch your stuff under my Netflix profile."
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😉

"I don't know about y'all, but I don't have any more passwords left in me."
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❤️🙂

"My wife and I have been reviewing our finances
and determined we need a sugar daddy."
(3)
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❤️

"So much of being an adult
is just not clicking the 'Send' button."
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❤️🙂

"The most important thing I've learned in life,
and I can't stress this enough:
you gotta make a salad in a bigger
bowl than you think."
(3)
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🙂

"Ordered new coats for my kids and for convenience I had them shipped directly to their school's lost and found section."
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