Mom's only problem is she needs help with showering and meal preparation due to mobility issues (she uses a walker). She broke her leg 3 years ago and is 84. Does not have dementia. She lived by herself at home and even drove up to 6 months ago when she got sick with a urinary tract infection. Got very weak and was in rehab and brother thought was best to leave her at nursing home. Mom is using her savings to pay $4000 a month, which will last a year and a half. Brother thinks medicaid will pay for it at after mom is broke. Nursing home says mom can go home now and wouldn't qualify for medicaid in NH because she is independent. I'd like to hire someone to check on her 2-4 hours a day and help with daily tasks. He won't listen to me and has power of attorney. He says the NH is best for mom; my sister lives in her town but doesn't want to be responsible nor caregiver. I feel like they want to stick mom in home because it's convenient for them. I'm so frusterated. Mom would love to return to her home where she's lived for the past 40 years.
Even with the DPOA your brother has no control over her person -- over saying where she can live.
Stop letting him make decisions he has no authority to make.
And the second point is related. Because the UTI is cleared up and your mother does not have serious disabling conditions Medicaid is not going to pay for her nursing home care. According to their rules, she is not medically qualified and even when she becomes financially qualified they still will not pay. If the nursing home has not explained that to him he should ask them directly.
Very often it is best for the parent to be in a long term care facility. It could be that you are the one in denial and your brother and sister are right. But since this was brought about by a temporary condition, and since the NH is saying she is not medically eligible for Medicaid and is independent, I'm inclined to think brother may be over-reacting and overly protective.
Good luck!
No person can be force into a nursing home without a health issue that requires the need for 24/7 care. A P.O.A., as far as I know does not give the acting Agent the right to make a medical evaluation. A Judge has no right either, unless your Mom has been evaluated by Dr's, and all is agreed, with all circumstances taken into consideration, and that this is the best situation for your Mom's quality of life. Unless of course, your Mom decides to become a resident at a facility, at her own will.
Then there is of course the BILL!!!! Where's the payment coming from and how much does she have and where has her money been spent in the past. If anyone but your Mom has transferred, given away, or is a beneficiary in the future, of her funds, assets, insurance policies, etc. this will be considered for payment in the process or if she runs out of money to pay the bill and medicaid is needed in the future. Your brother may have ironed out these details in preparation for her future needs.
I suggest you have a family meeting take all the details into consideration and do what you can with the benefit of your Mother in mind.
You are right. things happen everyday. And if something happens that requires it, there is nothing to prevent a return to the N.H. She went in for a temporary condition that is past now. If she develops a permanent condition, that will need to be addressed when it arises.