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He passed at 10 a.m. this morning at age 62.

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im so sorry for your loss. You did your best to advocate for him and his journey is done. ❤️
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So very sorry. Hard to know what to say; sometimes there is just no comfort for a while. Please know you are not alone.
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May Mark now be at peace.
DoggieMom, may you be able to sigh deeply, breathe through the pain & find peace too.
(((Hugs)))
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So sad that he had to die so young. This just reinforces the importance of taking good care of ourselves and what happens when we don't.
Hopefully you can now move forward with getting on with your life.
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i am so sorry for you.
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I’m sorry for your loss and wish you peace and healing
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Sending condolences. I hope you’re finding peace.
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I'm trying to but feeling guilty at the moment.
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I’m sorry for your loss
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I'm so sorry.
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I am so sorry.
It is gut wrenching.
And as to your reply to Fawnby...you know "guilt" has no place here.
Be gentle to yourself.
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Sincerest sympathies on your loss. I hope he passed peacefully. Please do not entertain the guilt. You have nothing to feel truly guilty about. He made his choices which to a large extent were responsible for his condition. It was beyond your control. Now you need to move on to a better life without abusive people dragging you down. I hope you can make arrangements to live separate from your mother. She is mentally very unhealthy as, it seems, are other family members. You deserve better than they are giving you.

Know that you are worthy of a good life with your dogs. You have a job and an income that can support you in pursuing this. It's time to put you and your needs first, and to let go of the toxic people around you. (((((((hugs))))) Build a non blood family to support you. You can do it!!!!
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My sincere sympathy to you
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I’m sorry, DM.
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DoggieMom, So sorry for your loss. ((((Hugs))))
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((((((((((((((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))))))))))))))
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My sincere condolences on your loss DM.

I came across this post about grief I thought you might like:

Here's the truth about grief:
Loss gets integrated, not overcome.
However long it takes, your heart and your mind will carve out a new life among the weirdly devastated landscape. Little by little, pain and love will find ways to coexist.
-Megan Devine
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Thank you for letting us know. One day at a time now as you move forward.
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DoggieMom, he is my daughter's age. So young to have to go. He fought with all his might. I am so sorry for this. This will bring up so very many feelings for you. I do know you knew this was coming for a long long time. But that doesn't mean it is easy for you. I am so sorry he had to deal with so much illness, wanted so to live, and just simply could not make it. I am sorry now for the grief I know you must feel.
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So sorry for your loss.
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You have been through a lot. May you receive comfort and peace in your heart.
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You did your best. Sorry for your loss.
The road ahead will be hard, but you will make it.
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I'm sorry for your loss. Will keep you in my prayers.
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Surprisingly, Mark's brother paid for the cremation. I am getting a memorial urn on my end and doing a memorial video and short service video. His nephew has Ashlann's, his daughter's, ashes, and Ashlann's mother's as well so they are all together again. I have been a mix of emotions from angry, sad, guilty, and relieved. I have to get death certificates as well. It's a mess.
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DoggieMom, since you are divorced from Mark, why are you having to pay for anything? That should ALL be left up to his nephew and immediate family don't you think?
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Mark's brother did pay for the cremation. I am only paying the memorial urn for myself. I am doing the memorial service through streaming and the video. I am surprised but glad his family stepped up. His brother is retired with a degree. I know his nephew will not do a memorial, and I feel I need to do something.
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I know you were expecting it and braced, but it must still come with oh so many emotions. Condolences to you.
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I'm angry and full of guilt like maybe me getting the divorce was the thing that killed him. If I had just hung on three more months ya know. That I don't deserve happiness in my new life.
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doggiemum - ((((((hugs))))) it wasn't you divorcing him that killed him. It was the medical conditions that he had that finished him, You haven't done anything wrong. It is normal to have all kinds of emotions at this time. Please recognize that they are part of the grieving process. The anger and guilt and "if only's" are a normal part of grief. Many of us have felt them. When my youngest son was killed I had a lot of "if only's". But I came to understand that I was in no way responsible for what happened to him. I think many of us have regrets when someone passes. Again that is normal grief.

Absolutely you deserve a good life. But I understand how you feel. When we lose someone, our self esteem suffers for a while. That too is part of the grief process. It will take some time for you to grieve and be able to focus on what lies ahead. Sometimes it's one hour or one day at a time - even one minute at a time. But you will get through it and you can come out of it stronger even though you don't feel that way now.

At some point when you are ready, grief counselling and/or a grief group could help you a lot. It did for me, Know there are many here who care and who are praying for you.
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DoggieMom,
So sorry for your lost.
But please no guilt. No caregiver should ever feel guilty.
Feel anger, relief, sadness and grief, all necessary and appropriate for however long it takes you.
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