
Mom lives alone. She goes to the dining twice a day, participates in several activities such as bingo and attending concerts at the facility. Lately she complains about feeling so weak that she can't even walk. It feels like there's something new every day. I have 3 siblings, two are out of town but within an hour or two. We're just at our wit's end about how best to care for her.
She sounds like she is doing so well! I would be thrilled if my dad participated in anything like she is doing—remaining engaged and active. You guys are doing great, keeping close tabs and taking care of her!
She's doing GREAT, going for 2 meals a day, playing Bingo and going to concerts. When she complains, it's just small talk. She may need a walker or scooter to zip around in.
In her AL, she is being cared for, fed and kept safe every day. You and your siblings have no worries at all. How can you be "at your wit's end" how to care for her? She is being taken care of by medical professionals. She is eating, getting around and participating in activities. You all should be thrilled and proud of her success, and should tell her so!
Be glad she isn't calling you daily crying, refusing to bathe, is bedridden, or tries to get you to bring her to your home to live! None of you should be upset at all.
For being 91, that is truly amazing! Ask at the facility if she needs an evaluation for her new symptom of "weakness?" Or something to assist her mobility?
If your mom is now requiring more care than the assisted living facility can provide it may be time to have her moved to a skilled nursing facility. You may want to talk to the doctor at her facility to see what they think is now best for her.
Tell mom to pull the cord by her bed or in the bathroom (some ALs have call buttons worn by residents around their necks as pendants) when she needs help or feels sick.
Good luck to you.