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I'm tired. Couple years ago, I had to place my father (dementia stage 6) in an assisted living home an hour away due to mother having a stroke and she could no longer care for him nor herself. Shes not fully recovered, and relies on me for all medical, finance and daily life decisions. I'm Only sibling near, I had to step up and help... Mother had little education and passes everything on to me. Two other siblings visit/call but really haven't helped with any decisions, finances or tons of appointments, paperwork or daily issues, or driving mom to ALF to visit dad. I work, husband has own business and really never was around to help with our own home life stuff, so I'm left trying my best to balance it all. I've been able to keep it together..... But I'm tired. I don't enjoy life anymore... I just show up....try to make everybody else happy. Tired of feeling unimportant. I'm sorry for my pity party.... I just needed to be heard by someone outside my circle who could possibly understand.

“ I just show up …try to make everybody else happy.” Your words Stormysmom

You are not responsible for your parents happiness.
Tell Mom this is too much and she needs assisted living . Your mother is not going to be independent ever again .
It’s still going to be a lot doing the finances etc . But at least Mom will get housekeeping , meals , laundry, nurses, a primary doctor, hair cuts on site etc .
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Why don't you move your mother into the assisted living with your father? Two years after her stroke, she's not going to recover any further. Their house can be sold to pay for it. They'll be happier together, and the staff can take much of this burden off of you. You can rest and recover your physical and mental health. You can call or facetime with them, and limit the drive to a few times a month. You deserve to have the break and live your own life in peace.
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Of course you can vent! And, yes! I understand, as I think many here will understand!
I hope it will soon be time for your mother to be in assisted living as well. You can not possibly handle it all. That's what assisted living and nursing homes are for. They provide a staff 24/7 to take care of resident's needs.
I'm so exhausted, frustrated, and my body hurts after 10 years taking care of my bedridden husband. I had no idea what it would be. I just did what needed to be done. At this point, I am not ready for him to be in a nursing home, because I can not imagine my life without him in it. So, as hard as it is, I get up and do it every day. I complain about it, I take naps, but I manage to get it done.
Consider taking on someone else, home-care, to help out with mom. You don't have to do it all. And, mom's money pays for it.
Don't count on siblings. Once one person takes on the care of a parent, the other siblings will just expect it. They don't know what to do, and they don't want to disrupt their lives to do it. They will assume you have it under control.
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Oh goodness. That sounds like too much for anyone. You really need some help and some time just for you. Sounds like you are burnt out and that mean you need to change things, I don't know what your situation and options are but something has to give here before you break down; Please look after yourself. (((((hugs))))
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Of course you’re tired. This is exhausting and too much for any one person. Venting may momentarily help, but I hope you’ll soon choose real change. Mom can have help that isn’t you, she may not like it, but it’s still an option. It’s not your job to make everyone happy. Know that guarding your own health, physical and emotional, is vital, no one else will do it for you. I wish you much rest and peace
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