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How are they managing their medications?
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Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
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Here I go.. my brother is retired fireman. Mom was 83 years old. he called me and said pull moms car keys, no more driving. He had been to too many car accidents involving older drivers. The other cars involved would blame it on the old person, because they're old. He said mom would politely say it was her fault, just because her mind isn't clear..
AVOID THE DRAMA. PULL HER KEYS. Park the car elsewhere..
you don't need to be in a lawsuit. Find a driver you trust if you cannot take her to the store. Mom has since passed. my 98 year old friend needs rides from time to time.. I take her when I can if her grandkids cannot.her grandkids live with her.. and she is able to walk, read, and socialize. We meet up at another friend's house and socialize, wine time and dinner.. etc.. she's active.
in home care: I found mom's board n care facility because of Edith. Edith was in the same adult daycare with mom. Edith n her husband had inhome care. The 2 caregivers decided they wanted more money and sued Edith and hubby's estate for back injuries. They lost everything.EVERYTHING.. house most of their assets.. forced out of their home into this 6 pack.. I'm glad I found then., wished they had a happier path to the board n care..instead of bring wrongfully sued.. Be sure you have the right insurance to cover this type of occurrence. Umbrella coverage insurance.. Be sure you go through a reputable agency, think they did too..and it still happened. COVER YOUR ASSets.
take your mom out and visit some assisted living or senior independence living.. they have activities and such. They will give you tours and lunch.. Do your homework; look at the places.. see for yourself.. just walk in and ask to talk with a manager about placing mom.. if you want mom to see it, then set up a tour..
Yep, MAYDAY is correct. You need to hide her keys and get Mom an Uber account. She'll love the first ride! Then get the car towed to shop for some fake thing that needs fixing. Even better, SELL IT ON CARVANA.
"HEY Mom! I sold that junk heap for $14,000 today! No more license, registration and insurance! Let's go on a cruise!"
Why these women resist having someone come in to help is ridiculous. Since when does any woman refuse a housekeeper? A nurse? A new friend to have coffee with and gab? Why turn it down?
They all act like Assisted Living is a prison or asylum, from the 1940s movies? Those days are long gone! Now it's simple: no cleaning, cooking, dishes, groceries, laundry or cost of driving anymore. It's not a "Nursing Home" but your own apt. in a place you don't have to maintain! Things to do, instead of sit at home all day, waiting to die.
Tell her you heard the DMV has "strict rules now" with renewing licenses over 75. You have to take a Memory Test, a drivers test (on their computers)with 50 questions, plus actual road test with the guy riding along! (throw in a "parallel parking" test) If she fails any of it, NO LICENSE. Good luck!
carol and hubby just sold their car. Both have health issues. They sold their car to CARVANA!! They're using the funds for UBER snd their kids will take them places if needed.
Present the caregiver as a companion, not "home care.". You do the hiring. Choose someone who is on the same social level as mom, who dresses nicely and can take her out to lunch at nice places. Who mom has things in common with so they can chat like friends. Maybe of the same religion so they can go to church together. Who is adept at driving and will oversee mom's appointments, including transportation. Who enjoys the same hobbies or can introduce new hobbies to mom, such as jigsaw puzzles or knitting.
My dad hired companions for my mom for years. He went to the office. The companions (there were several over the years) arrived, helped mom get dressed, made sure she took her pills, and then they went to Starbucks. Then shopping, then lunch, then maybe a movie or back to mom's place to play games, watch TV, or do puzzles. Companion arrived around 9 a.m., left at 3. She wore her clothes, not a uniform. She helped with making the bed, loading the dishwasher, putting clothes in the washer and dryer, and maybe vacuuming a bit. The companions all became close friends with mom.
Housework can be handled by a cleaner twice a month. They do the mopping, sweeping, and more difficult household tasks. Try it! The secret is in how you present it.
The way I minimized looming drama with my then 94-yr old Mom was that I went into her medical portal (as her MPoA) and told her primary I was making a Medicare wellness check (free, annual) but I wanted her to talk to my very resistant Mom about ending her driving. Her doc was near retirement age and was caring for her Mom as well, so she got it.
At this appointment the doc very seamlessly brought up the driving issue and how everyone's judgment and reflexes decline in spite of what we believe or try to preserve. My Mom sat there in stoney silence so the doc said she would order a Virtual Driving Assessment through their OT dept. Right up until the day of that appointment she was threatening to not go. I made the case that if she's such a good driver then she can prove it to everyone and we'd stop making it an issue. So she went to the appointment where she took the 30 question MoCA test and a type of reaction-time/range of motion physical test. She failed both with flying colors. The OT then informed my Mom that since she didn't passed it would be reported back to her primary who is a mandated reporter and it would be passed on to the Dept of Public Safety. They cancelled her license via a letter (which she hid from me and continued to drive). I had to call the DoP and ask if they sent the letter. I asked for them to send me a duplicate. I showed it to my Mom and told her that if I saw her pull out of her driveway (because she lives next door to me) that I would call 911 and I wouldn't be in the wrong. Yes, she was angry and bitter for a while but I reminded her that I didn't cause her to lose her license. Then it took her a year to allow me to sell her car (after she hid the keys and title so well that it took another year to find the keys. Don't know what she did with the license.)
If you accomplish getting her to stop driving, try to covertly ask other relatives, neighbors, friends, people from her church/synagoge to call her up and say, "Hey lets go to lunch" and then make time to do errands on the way. I did this with my elderly Aunts (who lived together and only one had a license). It took the sting out of losing this freedom. This is a temporary strategy and I secretly gave these drivers gift cards to take her out for lunch and as a thank you. This will be less expensive than hiring someone but buys you time to find the right person and helps your Mom ease into two big changes in her life.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
my brother is retired fireman.
Mom was 83 years old.
he called me and said pull
moms car keys, no more driving.
He had been to too many car accidents involving older drivers. The other cars involved would blame it on the old person, because they're old. He said mom would politely say it was her fault, just because her mind isn't clear..
AVOID THE DRAMA. PULL HER KEYS. Park the car elsewhere..
you don't need to be in a lawsuit. Find a driver you trust if you cannot take her to the store.
Mom has since passed.
my 98 year old friend needs rides from time to time.. I take her when I can if her grandkids cannot.her grandkids live with her.. and she is able to walk, read, and socialize. We meet up at another friend's house and socialize, wine time and dinner.. etc.. she's active.
in home care:
I found mom's board n care facility because of Edith. Edith was in the same adult daycare with mom.
Edith n her husband had inhome care.
The 2 caregivers decided they wanted more money and sued Edith and hubby's estate for back injuries. They lost everything.EVERYTHING.. house most of their assets.. forced out of their home into this 6 pack.. I'm glad I found then., wished they had a happier path to the board n care..instead of bring wrongfully sued..
Be sure you have the right insurance to cover this type of occurrence. Umbrella coverage insurance..
Be sure you go through a reputable agency, think they did too..and it still happened.
COVER YOUR ASSets.
take your mom out and visit some assisted living or senior independence living.. they have activities and such. They will give you tours and lunch..
Do your homework; look at the places.. see for yourself.. just walk in and ask to talk with a manager about placing mom.. if you want mom to see it, then set up a tour..
Good luck!
You need to hide her keys and get Mom an Uber account. She'll love the first ride!
Then get the car towed to shop for some fake thing that needs fixing.
Even better, SELL IT ON CARVANA.
"HEY Mom! I sold that junk heap for $14,000 today! No more license, registration and insurance! Let's go on a cruise!"
Why these women resist having someone come in to help is ridiculous. Since when does any woman refuse a housekeeper? A nurse? A new friend to have coffee with and gab? Why turn it down?
They all act like Assisted Living is a prison or asylum, from the 1940s movies? Those days are long gone! Now it's simple: no cleaning, cooking, dishes, groceries, laundry or cost of driving anymore. It's not a "Nursing Home" but your own apt. in a place you don't have to maintain! Things to do, instead of sit at home all day, waiting to die.
Tell her you heard the DMV has "strict rules now" with renewing licenses over 75. You have to take a Memory Test, a drivers test (on their computers)with 50 questions, plus actual road test with the guy riding along! (throw in a "parallel parking" test) If she fails any of it, NO LICENSE. Good luck!
They're using the funds for UBER snd their kids will take them places if needed.
My dad hired companions for my mom for years. He went to the office. The companions (there were several over the years) arrived, helped mom get dressed, made sure she took her pills, and then they went to Starbucks. Then shopping, then lunch, then maybe a movie or back to mom's place to play games, watch TV, or do puzzles. Companion arrived around 9 a.m., left at 3. She wore her clothes, not a uniform. She helped with making the bed, loading the dishwasher, putting clothes in the washer and dryer, and maybe vacuuming a bit. The companions all became close friends with mom.
Housework can be handled by a cleaner twice a month. They do the mopping, sweeping, and more difficult household tasks. Try it! The secret is in how you present it.
THAT SOUNDS WONDERFUL !!!
At this appointment the doc very seamlessly brought up the driving issue and how everyone's judgment and reflexes decline in spite of what we believe or try to preserve. My Mom sat there in stoney silence so the doc said she would order a Virtual Driving Assessment through their OT dept. Right up until the day of that appointment she was threatening to not go. I made the case that if she's such a good driver then she can prove it to everyone and we'd stop making it an issue. So she went to the appointment where she took the 30 question MoCA test and a type of reaction-time/range of motion physical test. She failed both with flying colors. The OT then informed my Mom that since she didn't passed it would be reported back to her primary who is a mandated reporter and it would be passed on to the Dept of Public Safety. They cancelled her license via a letter (which she hid from me and continued to drive). I had to call the DoP and ask if they sent the letter. I asked for them to send me a duplicate. I showed it to my Mom and told her that if I saw her pull out of her driveway (because she lives next door to me) that I would call 911 and I wouldn't be in the wrong. Yes, she was angry and bitter for a while but I reminded her that I didn't cause her to lose her license. Then it took her a year to allow me to sell her car (after she hid the keys and title so well that it took another year to find the keys. Don't know what she did with the license.)
If you accomplish getting her to stop driving, try to covertly ask other relatives, neighbors, friends, people from her church/synagoge to call her up and say, "Hey lets go to lunch" and then make time to do errands on the way. I did this with my elderly Aunts (who lived together and only one had a license). It took the sting out of losing this freedom. This is a temporary strategy and I secretly gave these drivers gift cards to take her out for lunch and as a thank you. This will be less expensive than hiring someone but buys you time to find the right person and helps your Mom ease into two big changes in her life.
I wish you success!