95 year old parent who is blind, practically deaf. recently hospitalized for compression fracture has now made it back to assisted living. He complains everyday of pain, says he is not hungry but is forcing himself to eat because "he knows he needs it". He complains of no energy. Waits till I get there to shave him with his electric shaver because he doesn't have the energy. Yet, he manages to go outside each day to get sunshine because he doesn't want to be pale like other "old" people. He tells me that he couldn't eat if I didn't come feed him...still, he eats very little and complains of no appetite But, is so concerned about his physical appearance. I'm at a loss. I don't know if he is fading, or just wanting me there more.,
Awwe, your Dad is concerned about how he looks.
We have plenty of 105-110 year olds here in Florida.
Take a vacation this summer or at least some mini breaks of 3-4 days.
The man has a will to live.
How very sad that you've allowed this manipulation to continue and from what I've read in your replies you seem to have no intention of stopping the nonsense.
So I'm not sure I can say anything you'll listen to, other than to say that it's WAY past time that you put your big girl panties on and decide to put yourself, your husband and marriage before your manipulative father before it's you that dies before he does an unhappy, unfulfilled woman.
You deserve SO much better!!!
Thank you for responding!
He is 95 and needs you more than you need him. What is he going to do to you at 95 in care? You need to call his bluff. You need to show that you are no longer going to put up with his stuff. Your life is not his. When he complains about no visitors tell him its because he is a miserable old man. Walk out of the room or leave the facility when he gets started. Look up "Grey Rocking" and use it. Treat him like you would a child.
There are people on this site that have been thru the same thing as you. Finally, they say enough is enough. There is a Christain based book called Boundaries by Townsend and Cloud read it.
A member on the forum said that "Honor your Father and Mother" does not mean you must care for them. It means that you Honor them by being a good person.
Are you saying that if you did not come and feed him he would not eat?
Stop feeding him.
If he is hungry he will eat. If he is "fighting to stay alive as long as possible" he will not starve himself to death. (someone that wants to live will not voluntarily stop eating and drinking)
I think you hit the nail on the head when you wrote that he wants you there more.