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My life and my son's life are in Danger!

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You called APS, you called the police, which? At what time? What happened?

Your BIL's family sounds like a collective piece of work. Your sister and BIL feel that you have insulted them (I don't agree! - I'm just making an observation) and are angry about it. I assume that this is how that particular family goes about responding to an insult. Well, how revolting.

You feel scared because you have a mob of bullies howling after you. Who could blame you for being shaken to the core?

The priority is to assess how real these threats are. Record phone calls, take pictures, keep any letters or items sent to you or your son. If these amount to evidence of a growing threat or demonstrate specific intentions, go back to the police and insist on protection.

Why were you refused a restraining order? Could you tell us the reasons the court gave for declining?
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We already do have laws against stalking, terroristic threats, and kidnapping.

How is your mother through all this?
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If you live in an area in which the local police do not enforce the law, contact the State Attorney General and the Federal Department of Justice. And maybe move.
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take up a new sport , I hear cross-bow is quite popular and helps with focus, when its cold you could practice in-doors as its safe as long as no-one is nearby especially if you have targets on the front and/or rear door.
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The person has to have lived with you???!!! That sounds like utter tosh. What about anti-stalking legislation, for a start? - who knows where their stalker lives, or has lived with him or her?

You're being harassed, and I can't believe the police don't have a duty to protect you. Do you have any access to legal advice?

I hope you're doing ok. Keep updating please.
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ElderlyHelper, we really feel for you. We've heard of such a thing as a private lifestyle which may help you, but you'll need to leave your area in order to pull that off.

Meanwhile, document each and every incident with the date and time and what you did about it. If you called 911, record whatever the police said or did. If there's a phone call, log it. If there's a drive by or knock on the door, document that.

If you haven't tried this, call your county prosecutor's office and ask for help. If you have your ducks lined up with all the incidents, police reports, etc, you have a better chance of getting attention.

Hang in there!
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The only thing that I can think of is to move to the opposite side of the country. Do a total black out from family, and that includes your mother. Make friends with your neighbors and hope you're not jumping from one fire to another. Because as long as you live in the vicinity, they can continue to harrass/threaten you. Yours is a scary situation. Restraining orders are almost useless. You can only get it after you've been violated. And even when you get one, it does not stop the violence. Restraining orders are good within a certain number of feet/yards from you. A person can still harrass you by driving by the public road. I'd say to move the opposite end and have no family.
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@ Countrymouse: Yes that is exactly what I was told it's more about husbands and wives that have problems. It's all about proof also. They can drive by my house all they want and it's not a crime. The police unfortunately are not bodyguards.I guess i'm ok for now. I just need angels around me right now and keep praying everyone will be ok.
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How do you know that it's family driving by? How have the death and kidnapping threats been delivered? Does your cell phone have a camera or video feature? Can you record phone calls? Try to document what is happening.

Why do you say they want you dead by Christmas?
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What you are describing is not a family, it is a criminal enterprise - 50 people willing to stalk, harrass and possibly kill you over gritting an old lady. Call all the authorities, send letters, local police, FBI, state police. Certainly these bad asses are wanted by someone for something.

Get a restraining order, as last resort remember you have the right to bear arms. Take classes.
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