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Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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I acknowledge and authorize
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I consent to the collection of my consumer health data.*
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I consent to the sharing of my consumer health data with qualified home care agencies.*
*If I am consenting on behalf of someone else, I have the proper authorization to do so. By clicking Get My Results, you agree to our Privacy Policy. You also consent to receive calls and texts, which may be autodialed, from us and our customer communities. Your consent is not a condition to using our service. Please visit our Terms of Use. for information about our privacy practices.
Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
Share a few details and we will match you to trusted home care in your area:
Any major change in life requires self reflection and often times support from others. If you do not belong to any church or community group, you might want to find one to have support. Some recommend journaling as well. If things are too much for you, please don't feel trapped. Look at the many alternatives available these days from respite care to adult day care to long term facilities.
We really need more info. Who are you caring for, age and illness. Are they on their own, living with you or you with them.
For me, I had to take my Mom in after a hospital stay. I had taken care of my grandson, 20 months old, from infancy so I had him too. Mom was easy but it was hard always needing to be there for her. My grandson had to be placed in Daycare. I was 65 and found I was not a caregiver. After almost 2 years, I was finally able to place herbin an AL. It was the best thing for both of us. She had socialization, activities and the whole building to walk around in.
I've had good luck with calling “A Place for Mom”. I searched it online and filled out a quick survey and they called me back. I’m sure you can just Google the 800# too.
It’s not just for assisted living but also for helping you find in-home care. They were so kind and even followed up several times to make sure I was assisted and found someone.
Being a caregiver is challenging but use the resources in your community, hospital/medical center, church, friends, etc. It takes a village for sure!
The hardest part of caregiving isn't just the physical tasks—it's the constant, exhausting mental alert state. You can't relax because you are always listening for a fall, a wandering footstep, or a missed alarm. While you work on the emotional acceptance of this new chapter, let smart home technology shoulder some of that constant vigilance for you. By setting up passive, non-invasive tools—like bed pressure sensors that quietly alert your phone if a loved one gets up at night, or motion-activated path lighting to prevent falls—you can stop living on high alert 24/7. Technology can’t change your situation, but it can give you back small pockets of peace, lower your stress, and help you safely step away to take care of you.
This is true. My Mom was OK as long as she saw me moving around. I have a split and her room was the old family room. She could see up the stairs where I was working in the kitchen. Once I went to sit down in my Den, she needed me for something.
You don't tell us if you're still caregiving or who you're caregiving for if you're still an active caregiver so it's hard to advise you properly. But I will just say that if you're still in throes of caregiving, remember that this too shall pass and life does go on after caregiving. And yes you will be changed into a more caring, compassionate and empathetic person when it is all said and done, which are all good things so hang tight and embrace the changes.
Life itself is not static. Life changes. Our lives change all the time. We adapt or we flounder and cease to cope. How you deal with change is how you have dealt with change all your life. And honestly none of us like change but without us we would never go anywhere or do anything. As to how to deal with becoming a caregiver depends on how it happened. Was it a slow progressive change and you began helping out a little here and a little there and all of a sudden you are overwhelmed? Or was it a dramatic change as a result of an accident or illness that thrust you into the role? Reality it does not matter because at some point you realize you can not manage this all by yourself. So you start looking for help. The first thing you need to do is accept the fact that you do need help and that you can not continue the way you are. That is a BIG thing to do. Start with a little help. A few days a week, a few hours. This can be in many forms. Adult Day Care Program if that is appropriate. Hiring a caregiver Deciding if the person you are caring for REALLY needs all the help that you are providing or are you doing things they can do themselves. Deciding if you can SAFELY care for this person or do you have to look for a facility that can manage their care.
A little (maybe a lot) more information would help provide more and better answers.
I was a homecare worker for many years before going into business and I have seen every family dynamic there is. So, I'm going to tell you what I've told countless families who took on the care of an elderly loved one.
~Caregiving only works when it's done on the caregiver's terms. Not the care recipient's.
This means that the person responsible for the caregiving is the one in charge who sets the boundaries and how THEY will provide for the needy, sick, elderly person. You cannot allow yourself to be bullied, taken advantage of, bullied, verbally and/orphysically abused, or mistreated in any way. You also cannot allow yourself to be guilt-tripped and gaslit if you insist on establishing boundaries in the caregiving situation or for making your own needs and life a priority. It is also not wrong in any way to insist on payment and outside help coming in too.
Everyone's life changes when they take on caregiving. The same as everyone's life changes when they have a child. Change doesn't have to be bad, and it is managable if you are in control of the situation on your terms.
Keep things on your terms and respect yourself and your needs and you'll do just fine.
Bonnie, You don’t give any information about your circumstances and who you care for (parent, spouse, etc?), or if you do so in your own home or that person’s. If you do choose to share, people will have more specific advice for you.
I can tell you that I am a very burnt out caregiver of five and a half years, for a very elderly parent with multiple health and functional issues. He is currently being denied long term care in the SNF he is in post hospital. If I cannot find another safe and viable solution, I will be hiring (with his money) in home care help. I wish I had done so sooner (and I did try, but it did not work for a variety of reasons at that time). I know my parent will balk at this, but I simply can no longer safely see to his mounting needs and wants. I don’t love the idea of a stranger in my home, but one person is no longer enough for our situation.
So without knowing anything about your situation, I would recommend getting help. If you have not brought the care recipient into your home, I strongly recommend that you NOT do so (the powers that make the decisions would much rather you care for the person no matter how unsustainable the situation rather than facility care if you eventually want that as an option).
Find support groups either in person or online (like this one). Consider therapy in person or online.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
For me, I had to take my Mom in after a hospital stay. I had taken care of my grandson, 20 months old, from infancy so I had him too. Mom was easy but it was hard always needing to be there for her. My grandson had to be placed in Daycare. I was 65 and found I was not a caregiver. After almost 2 years, I was finally able to place herbin an AL. It was the best thing for both of us. She had socialization, activities and the whole building to walk around in.
It’s not just for assisted living but also for helping you find in-home care. They were so kind and even followed up several times to make sure I was assisted and found someone.
Being a caregiver is challenging but use the resources in your community, hospital/medical center, church, friends, etc. It takes a village for sure!
While you work on the emotional acceptance of this new chapter, let smart home technology shoulder some of that constant vigilance for you. By setting up passive, non-invasive tools—like bed pressure sensors that quietly alert your phone if a loved one gets up at night, or motion-activated path lighting to prevent falls—you can stop living on high alert 24/7. Technology can’t change your situation, but it can give you back small pockets of peace, lower your stress, and help you safely step away to take care of you.
But I will just say that if you're still in throes of caregiving, remember that this too shall pass and life does go on after caregiving.
And yes you will be changed into a more caring, compassionate and empathetic person when it is all said and done, which are all good things so hang tight and embrace the changes.
Life changes. Our lives change all the time. We adapt or we flounder and cease to cope.
How you deal with change is how you have dealt with change all your life. And honestly none of us like change but without us we would never go anywhere or do anything.
As to how to deal with becoming a caregiver depends on how it happened. Was it a slow progressive change and you began helping out a little here and a little there and all of a sudden you are overwhelmed? Or was it a dramatic change as a result of an accident or illness that thrust you into the role?
Reality it does not matter because at some point you realize you can not manage this all by yourself.
So you start looking for help.
The first thing you need to do is accept the fact that you do need help and that you can not continue the way you are. That is a BIG thing to do.
Start with a little help. A few days a week, a few hours.
This can be in many forms.
Adult Day Care Program if that is appropriate.
Hiring a caregiver
Deciding if the person you are caring for REALLY needs all the help that you are providing or are you doing things they can do themselves.
Deciding if you can SAFELY care for this person or do you have to look for a facility that can manage their care.
A little (maybe a lot) more information would help provide more and better answers.
"Nothing stays the same forever." and
"Everything is an experiment."
~Caregiving only works when it's done on the caregiver's terms. Not the care recipient's.
This means that the person responsible for the caregiving is the one in charge who sets the boundaries and how THEY will provide for the needy, sick, elderly person. You cannot allow yourself to be bullied, taken advantage of, bullied, verbally and/orphysically abused, or mistreated in any way. You also cannot allow yourself to be guilt-tripped and gaslit if you insist on establishing boundaries in the caregiving situation or for making your own needs and life a priority. It is also not wrong in any way to insist on payment and outside help coming in too.
Everyone's life changes when they take on caregiving. The same as everyone's life changes when they have a child. Change doesn't have to be bad, and it is managable if you are in control of the situation on your terms.
Keep things on your terms and respect yourself and your needs and you'll do just fine.
Please give us some context so that we can give you appropriate advice and wisdom.
I can tell you that I am a very burnt out caregiver of five and a half years, for a very elderly parent with multiple health and functional issues. He is currently being denied long term care in the SNF he is in post hospital. If I cannot find another safe and viable solution, I will be hiring (with his money) in home care help. I wish I had done so sooner (and I did try, but it did not work for a variety of reasons at that time). I know my parent will balk at this, but I simply can no longer safely see to his mounting needs and wants. I don’t love the idea of a stranger in my home, but one person is no longer enough for our situation.
So without knowing anything about your situation, I would recommend getting help. If you have not brought the care recipient into your home, I strongly recommend that you NOT do so (the powers that make the decisions would much rather you care for the person no matter how unsustainable the situation rather than facility care if you eventually want that as an option).
Find support groups either in person or online (like this one). Consider therapy in person or online.
I wish you peace and much support.