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I had to literally disassociate myself 100% from the toxicity of my parents 83 and 80. Mom in hospice at home and stepfather disabled. Myself disabled and recovering from breast cancer and major spinal surgery. Parents are cause of major CPTSD from abusive childhood. They have ABSOLUTELY no friends or family! Hospice Agency is only support system. I must move into their home. They are hoarders and I must clean a space for myself. As it is the only clean space is mother’s room because of hospice. There currently is not even a chair or space to sit or put a pocketbook down! Any advice? Are there volunteer dumpsters or laborers to help?

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To walk back into this situation is self-harming.
You will have to report your parent's situation to the authorities and allow them to use the auspices available to place your parents in care.
Were you not ever born your parents would be receiving care. That is the care they should receive now.
To be honest it is a kind of suicidal thing to move back into this situation over which you have zero control, can do zero good, and would only harm yourself. Call your agencies on aging and report your parents' situation to them. Let them know you cannot intervene.
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"I must move into their home".

No. You don't. You really don't.

You don't have to clean or do diddly squat.
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Hospice doesn’t care about, isn’t responsible for, your health. You aren’t their client. Your mother is. They are trying to check the box that they have someone in the house. You may be physically able to help but you are not mentally able to help. You have documentation to that fact via your own medical records. You don’t have to explain that to them. You just tell them no. Walk out the door.

If you want to visit them, then that should be discussed with your doctor. But even that would be better in another setting. Her home will be too triggering for you. They both should be placed. Call adult protective services as advised. You are thinking short term. One year is not long enough to recover. Mother dies then father is left there in the hoarded house. Do you plan to stay with him as well? If he is unable to feed his life partner now, how will he manage his own care? You are being manipulated. Even a mentally healthy person would be affected by this arrangement.

The fact that you are even contemplating this shows how disabled you are to even be considering such an arrangement.

And clearing that hoard will be very very stressful to them. They would be better off somewhere else when that happens.
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My only advice is DON'T DO IT! :( If wishes were horses then beggars would ride. Just because your mother wishes something doesn't mean YOU are required to be her fairy godmother. Step back. Tell whomever asks that you are not capable of caring for either of them. APS is Adult Protective Services and you can report two vulnerable adults. Please, please take care of yourself. I'm going to go out on a limb and say that NOTHING has changed since before you had to remove yourself from the toxic environment. You don't have to be the solution to this problem.
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Even if you were currently perfectly mentally and physically well, I do not think it would be appropriate for you to try to provide hands-on care. Abused children should not care for their abusers. For one thing, the risk of elder abuse is too great. It’s asking too much.

Are you seeing a therapist? What does he or she say about this situation?
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Stardust Jun 13, 2025
This is what's killing me right now. I said yes. It's the only situation I can think of where we're expected to live under the same roof as our abusers again. :(
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And you have to measure your needs against their needs. Hands down -your needs trump there's. You don't "must" do anything for them.

You have to look after yourself - that is a big enough job for you. Someone else has to look after them. Let APS and any involved social workers know that you are not available to care for them. You don't have to explain or justify yourself, argue or defend yourself.

Build up your health, which is obviously suffering, and will suffer more if you get involved with their care. Put yourself first, build up a decent life apart from them. Take care of you!!! That's more than enough for you to do.
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Hi,
You should not be going back to your parents. You have your own medical issues to take care of! Plus the fact that they were abusive to you and caused you CPTSD!!! When I was growing up, my father was emotionally abusive to my mother and I and this continued once I was grown. It even happens now. He is now in a facility. I think when we are abused by our parents, it causes us to think we are to care for them no matter what but this is not true. I truly believe I was headed for a breakdown but then I learned to say no. PLEASE DO NOT MOVE IN! Take care of yourself and find happiness! I still struggle to be happy because of what I went through but this forum and counseling helps.
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Drivingdaisy Jun 12, 2025
Trying2, this advice is coming from the horses mouth. So to speak.

@faithfullbeauty. 👏🙂
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No, you do not have to move in their home. CPTSD is a real thing and not an acronym. How do I know? I am a sufferer myself even at my age. I have been in and out of therapy since the age of nineteen. I don't need to go into the history of growing up in abuse and the resulting trauma created being in this environment.

My suggestion to you is do not go back for the protection of your own safety, health and sanity.
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Don’t do it. Choose yourself. Don't kill your self for them.

Call APS and report two vulnerable seniors living alone at home.
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Parents are cause of [your] Major CPTSD from abusive childhood. Any good therapist will tell you to stay away from them 100% of the time now. 0 contact. Grey Rock. etc. "they have ABSOLUTELY no friends or family" ...because others have figured out healthy boundaries with your creepy, sick parents. And now you need to find and maintain healthy boundaries with them. Don't light yourself on fire to keep your abusers warm. There is a solution for them other than you: APS. They will get the appropriate care they need. APS will take care of dealing with their hoarded home. We don't get to choose our family members. We DO get to choose how much we interact with our abusers. Zero is how much. You can not afford to help them anyway: not financially, not emotionally, not medically. Please make yourself your #1 priority (and in this case, you are also #2, #3, #4, etc). May you receive clarity, wisdom and peace in your heart as both your heart and body heals.
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