He gets mean if he doesn't like movie and we don't change it. He starts the movie and about 1/2 hour into it he tells me it's lousy or boring. One night he yelled and cussed at me because he didn't like the movie choice. I changed the movie but as soon as he gets in the door he wants a movie. It's almost OCD. I don't know what to do. He just did this at my sister's house on Sunday for the first time so she is seeing it too. Any suggestions?
A tv he can control is probably a temporary workaround but will not solve the root problem. It it likely to get worse as his brain deteriorates and his ability to understand and communicate his wants & needs goes away.
Keep a diary of his behaviors. I guarantee you other things about him are changing, and this is not an isolated thing.
This kind of vigilance and hyperfocus is called perseveration. It's a signal there may be brain changes going on that a neurologist and geriatric psych can help you with. It is not in the least bit unusual to need these two specialists for elders anymore. I know they've done my mother a world of good.
I will also say to plan ahead for the next stage of care dad will need. His time in independent living has an expiration date on it and there will need to be a plan in place so that you are not up the creek suddenly, in a crisis. My mom is at a place that has all levels of care from independent to hospice, but not everybody has a facility like this in their area and will have to work with the social worker to move their loved one to a different location when care needs change.
When I first got here over 5 years ago, Andy Griffith ran all day long on TV, it seems. She would watch it all day. Reruns didn't bother her. Then it was Bill Cosby. For the past 2-3 years it has been The Waltons, interrupted by a bit of Little House. She'll watch the same shows over and over. I think she finds comfort in the familiarity. I think she also likes the family closeness of the shows - something she doesn't have in her own life.
She has lately entered a new stage and doesn't watch TV as much. I don't know what is happening and certainly dread finding out. But I know what is going to happen will happen, so I take it a day at a time.
There's a reason why the term "couch potato" was coined, and why it becomes habit forming for people of any age.
Although I'm certainly no expert, I really do think that the "zone out" effect of tv is one of the reason older folks watch it - especially as Jessie mentioned that some of the programs create a very fictionalized, idealized (but unrealistic) interpretation of what life could be like.
It's an escape into a different reality.
RBrown, if there's any way that your father could be taught to use a DVD, try that option. You could get him DVDs of his favorite shows and he could change them at will. I believe libraries also have DVDs on loan.
Perhaps writing out the instructions, step by step, and going through them with him would help, but sometimes instructions for electronic gadgets aren't intuitive and are too difficult for elders (and sometimes "youngers" as well) to understand and follow.
However, I wouldn't under any circumstances tolerate verbal abuse. When he starts that, quietly explain that it's not appropriate behavior and leave the room, the house, and just get away. Let him think for awhile about his behavior.
You'll need to stop this verbally abusive behavior now or it may just get worse, much worse.
Good luck; I hope you find success in the solutions suggested.
I'm wondering also if he becomes annoyed with the program because he's not able to follow it, b/c it might be too complex or confusing and he becomes irritated with his inability to understand it.
Is there any theme you can find to the programs he does enjoy?
For that reason, I would avoid complex thrillers or sci-fi.
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