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The assisted livings ive tried only accept respite if there is a bed open. No guaranteed spot. We have a cruise booked and paid. The cg i had planned to use now cant do it. Please...any ideas? Inhome care isnt an option for 2 weeks in our case

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Get in home care immediately. Don't give up a much needed respite for yourself.

I wish I had looked out for myself more when I was told the only option I had was to stay home. I can't believe professional people who tell caregivers this.

Find a reliable and reputable care agency and go.
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Reply to Scampie1
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Why is in home care not an option now that the original caregiver can’t make it? It’s not like she is the only caregiver on earth.

Time to let mom know that the longer she cooperates with adult-sitting, the more time she will be able to spend with family. In other words, mom is going to have to get along with whatever agency or Indy you hire for the two weeks you’re away from her. If you have to be hauled back for her anxiety mimicking as a heart attack, tell her she’s going to somewhere that isn’t you.
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Reply to PeggySue2020
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BurntCaregiver Sep 14, 2025
@PeggySue

Oh, the old anxiety heart attack. This one's always been a favorite of my mother's.

There comes the time when you really have to just ignore their anxiety and performance and just go on your vacation. My mother knows that her choices are work with homecare or go to a nursing home. There's no third choice and hasn't been one for a long time.
(5)
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If in-home care for two weeks isn't an option, looks like you stay home.

Of course you want to go on your cruise! So I suggest that you find some way for home care to be an option.

As a social worker said to me when I was faced with taking someone home from rehab and providing hands-on home care in their home, "Forget all that. You're a caregiver now." Sad, but true. When we take on a commitment to bring someone into our home or live in theirs to take care of them, our own previous life ceases to exist. I'm sorry it's happened to you.
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Reply to Fawnby
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If you are ruling out in home care ,
I hope you have trip insurance .
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Reply to waytomisery
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An AL is not going to help with respite stays. Nursing homes (many have memory care units also) are who does respite stays. Also Medicare pays up to two weeks respite.

Now, you have to do the legwork of calling every nursing home in your state. If you can't get her into a local nursing home nearby, you may have to put her somewhere some distance away. That's not impossible. Many nursing homes will let you book the respite for the time you will be away. Get on the phone and start calling around.

The guaranteed way to get her care when you need it is to hire a homecare agency like suggested. It will cost, but it's better than missing out on your cruise because you've got nowhere to put her. Call homecare agencies in the area now. Many do not provide respite stay cargivers. I don't.
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Reply to BurntCaregiver
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Have you tried using the Find Care feature on this site to see if there’s anything usable in your area?
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Reply to Daughterof1930
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There are assistant living facilities that do provide respite that I have found, but come at a hefty price tag and 30 day minimum. Cost was 5-7K for 30 days. There may be other options, I’m still seeking myself.
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Reply to DMarie17
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In home care with 2 caregivers. One for daytime, one for night. It might be the safest, instead of changing her environment?
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Reply to NG2025
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You might try a small residential care home- that is, in a home setting. It may be more expensive (honestly, I don't know how the cost compares to a large care facility). They may have more flexibility with scheduling and will offer more one-on-one care and personalized service. Typically providing a bedroom and preparing meals and offering light assistance with toileting, medications, and mobility. I checked out one years ago for my husband, but his needs were greater than they could provide for. The one I looked at was a private home, run by the family, the husband and wife had previous experience as nurses or CNA's and would take up to2 or 3 guests at a time.
There are some, however, which are owned and managed by a corporation or partnership who are not the hands-on providers.
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Reply to CaringWifeAZ
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In home care might be your only option, if you don't want to miss your cruise. Act now to find an agency that will be able to cover the two weeks.
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Reply to LakeErie
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