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The assisted livings ive tried only accept respite if there is a bed open. No guaranteed spot. We have a cruise booked and paid. The cg i had planned to use now cant do it. Please...any ideas? Inhome care isnt an option for 2 weeks in our case
If in-home care for two weeks isn't an option, looks like you stay home.
Of course you want to go on your cruise! So I suggest that you find some way for home care to be an option.
As a social worker said to me when I was faced with taking someone home from rehab and providing hands-on home care in their home, "Forget all that. You're a caregiver now." Sad, but true. When we take on a commitment to bring someone into our home or live in theirs to take care of them, our own previous life ceases to exist. I'm sorry it's happened to you.
Why is in home care not an option now that the original caregiver can’t make it? It’s not like she is the only caregiver on earth.
Time to let mom know that the longer she cooperates with adult-sitting, the more time she will be able to spend with family. In other words, mom is going to have to get along with whatever agency or Indy you hire for the two weeks you’re away from her. If you have to be hauled back for her anxiety mimicking as a heart attack, tell her she’s going to somewhere that isn’t you.
Oh, the old anxiety heart attack. This one's always been a favorite of my mother's.
There comes the time when you really have to just ignore their anxiety and performance and just go on your vacation. My mother knows that her choices are work with homecare or go to a nursing home. There's no third choice and hasn't been one for a long time.
Get in home care immediately. Don't give up a much needed respite for yourself.
I wish I had looked out for myself more when I was told the only option I had was to stay home. I can't believe professional people who tell caregivers this.
There are assistant living facilities that do provide respite that I have found, but come at a hefty price tag and 30 day minimum. Cost was 5-7K for 30 days. There may be other options, I’m still seeking myself.
When I needed a break after 5 years of caring for my dear wife with Alzheimer’s, I had two options. 1 was to have a meeting with all our adult children present and explained that I needed them to step up and help care for their mother. Eventually they organized a plan that involved each one taking a shift staying at my house with mom. It worked well to have them figure out a solution. The other option I used was to ask my wife’s close friend from church if she would be willing to host her for a two week visit. She consented because she saw it as a way to provide service for her friend. That worked so well I ended up compensating her for her service, and used her again a year later. Good luck finding someone as you need a break for your benefit.
An AL is not going to help with respite stays. Nursing homes (many have memory care units also) are who does respite stays. Also Medicare pays up to two weeks respite.
Now, you have to do the legwork of calling every nursing home in your state. If you can't get her into a local nursing home nearby, you may have to put her somewhere some distance away. That's not impossible. Many nursing homes will let you book the respite for the time you will be away. Get on the phone and start calling around.
The guaranteed way to get her care when you need it is to hire a homecare agency like suggested. It will cost, but it's better than missing out on your cruise because you've got nowhere to put her. Call homecare agencies in the area now. Many do not provide respite stay cargivers. I don't.
You might try a small residential care home- that is, in a home setting. It may be more expensive (honestly, I don't know how the cost compares to a large care facility). They may have more flexibility with scheduling and will offer more one-on-one care and personalized service. Typically providing a bedroom and preparing meals and offering light assistance with toileting, medications, and mobility. I checked out one years ago for my husband, but his needs were greater than they could provide for. The one I looked at was a private home, run by the family, the husband and wife had previous experience as nurses or CNA's and would take up to2 or 3 guests at a time. There are some, however, which are owned and managed by a corporation or partnership who are not the hands-on providers.
My wife and I are in the middle of this exact thing. Headed out on a cruise in a month. I'm a travel agent, so it's a bit more of a business trip for me. Unfortunately, in our case, the type of care needed makes respite facilities a no-go, and skilled nursing facilities cost WAYYYY too much without medical need. The SNF we called recommended getting our PCP to put in an order, but that's hard to plan for when you are planning a vacation. What we have opted for is hiring caregivers ahead of time to train so he will have 24hr in home care. My dad sleeps through the night, so we have a long night shift set up and then 2 shorter day shifts. All told it looks like we will spend about 1/4 of what we would have in an SNF. The inability to get respite or help for elderly and sick people is SO SO SO ridiculous and sad, a reality I have come to see over the last year of dealing with my dad's cancer treatments. I hope you are able to get your respite, you deserve it.
Hi.....I know in my area you can schedule a temporary stay, though there is a minimum stay of 3 weeks and it's extremely expensive. The care facility specializes in dementia patients or those with similar conditions. I sympathize, we're in the same boat and are struggling to find something affordable and safe.
I would call a placement center and tell them you are looking for respite care at this time 2-3 weeks. You may have to go to the next town or so keep in mind it’s important that they are still close to their doctor's. I had the same issue and was told if a room was available which is hard to schedule something that’s not 100 % in our case I inquired how many rooms were currently open in that case they had 9 rooms so I felt we had a good chance. Hiring a live- in for two weeks is also a option.
I have my mom on hospice its been the best and they pay for 5days free of respite and Nursing home I have visited several and she has stayed at 2 of them one 5 minutes from my house another 30 minutes away just in case I need a back up. So I woukd suggest trying to get loved one on hospice so you can get help.
Respite care by a facility is possible, however is your Mom mentally and/or physically capable for assisted care (operative word is assisted) or does she need 24/7 care for everything, then a nursing home is needed. The AL facility I used keeps a few rooms available for respite for a couple weeks at a time with a deposit for the time needed & payment when care period begins. I have not used the Medicare system for this respite for care givers yet, however I have read that Medicare will help with the payment of such, or at least in-home care. I also found well qualified licensed nursing care professionals willing to stay in the residence for an agreed amount of 'quiet' payment. Perhaps checking on nursing school students could also be a resource. We had cameras posted in areas of the residence to be able to watch and observe the care provided - full notice and disclosure provided to the substitute care giver. I understand you stated in-home care is not an option, however you may still need to consider. You also need to have a medical treatment authorization established in the event your Mom needs medical attention during your absence.. I'd probably speak with her PCP to start. I empathize with your predicament, traveled this road too many times with immediate and in-law families, where we take on all the burdens without any help from siblings or adult children of the affirmed (now on our 5th ). It is so difficult and others can not ever appreciate the drain on the 24/7 physical and emotional well-being of being a care giver. I hope for your best results with this situation. DO NOT put yourself in a place of guilt, you need a break !
'Quiet Payment'. Now that's a new one I've never heard in 25 years as an in-home caregiver and a homecare business owner.
We used to just call that hiring 'under-the-table' because you're paying in cash. Nothing wrong with that if it's just for a few days and maybe you're going somewhere local. It can be famously unreliable though. The OP has a cruise planned. They aren't going to turn the ship around and bring the OP back into port if the 'quietly paid' caregiver doesn't work out with the mother, or the back out at the last minute.
The safest bet is to find a nursing home who will take the mother for the amount of time. Or go through a homecare agency because they will be legally responsible to make sure there's a caregiver with the mother 24/7 while they are away.
Does mom need Assisted Living or Memory Care? Also look into places that do ""rehab" many of those facilities will take Long Term Care residents. there may be a spot there. You can also look at a caregiving agency that can provide 24/7 care in the home. It will be expensive. Not sure of the cost between that and a facility and having to cancel your trip. If mom is on Hospice Hospice will also cover Respite. You might also want to look into the Medicare Program called GUIDE according to the information I have it will provide up to $2500 for Respite care. That might help with the 24/7 cost of an agency.
Each state has different options. I'm in TN. One answer stated only nursing homes provide respite care which is not true as ALF's will do short term here with no time restriction. You may have to call other ALF's outside of your town area to find one with an opening; ALF will be cheaper than nursing home respite. Also if you find an ALF with opening you could always pay to hold that room until your cruise. Also someone mentioned Medicare paying for 2 weeks respite of which I am unaware and I have been a case manager for 30 plus years; Medicare can cover short term care but that requires a medical necessity and often a hospital stay. A private care home was also mentioned which is a good option if you can find one and it can meet your mother's needs. Always check any facility out as much as you can as you don't want to be out of the country and an issue arise. Do you have any family who could come to provide care temporarily? Check with various home care agencies as they are expensive and price may vary. If you find a place or person to provide care lay out your expectations and her needs and I would suggest having a friend or other family member check in on her every couple days just to make sure all going ok. Ask everyone you know for in home care recommendations. Often the best caregivers are found that way. Don't let her make you feel guilty and have a great trip!
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Of course you want to go on your cruise! So I suggest that you find some way for home care to be an option.
As a social worker said to me when I was faced with taking someone home from rehab and providing hands-on home care in their home, "Forget all that. You're a caregiver now." Sad, but true. When we take on a commitment to bring someone into our home or live in theirs to take care of them, our own previous life ceases to exist. I'm sorry it's happened to you.
Time to let mom know that the longer she cooperates with adult-sitting, the more time she will be able to spend with family. In other words, mom is going to have to get along with whatever agency or Indy you hire for the two weeks you’re away from her. If you have to be hauled back for her anxiety mimicking as a heart attack, tell her she’s going to somewhere that isn’t you.
Oh, the old anxiety heart attack. This one's always been a favorite of my mother's.
There comes the time when you really have to just ignore their anxiety and performance and just go on your vacation. My mother knows that her choices are work with homecare or go to a nursing home. There's no third choice and hasn't been one for a long time.
I wish I had looked out for myself more when I was told the only option I had was to stay home. I can't believe professional people who tell caregivers this.
Find a reliable and reputable care agency and go.
I hope you have trip insurance .
Now, you have to do the legwork of calling every nursing home in your state. If you can't get her into a local nursing home nearby, you may have to put her somewhere some distance away. That's not impossible. Many nursing homes will let you book the respite for the time you will be away. Get on the phone and start calling around.
The guaranteed way to get her care when you need it is to hire a homecare agency like suggested. It will cost, but it's better than missing out on your cruise because you've got nowhere to put her. Call homecare agencies in the area now. Many do not provide respite stay cargivers. I don't.
There are some, however, which are owned and managed by a corporation or partnership who are not the hands-on providers.
The SNF we called recommended getting our PCP to put in an order, but that's hard to plan for when you are planning a vacation.
What we have opted for is hiring caregivers ahead of time to train so he will have 24hr in home care.
My dad sleeps through the night, so we have a long night shift set up and then 2 shorter day shifts.
All told it looks like we will spend about 1/4 of what we would have in an SNF.
The inability to get respite or help for elderly and sick people is SO SO SO ridiculous and sad, a reality I have come to see over the last year of dealing with my dad's cancer treatments. I hope you are able to get your respite, you deserve it.
'Quiet Payment'. Now that's a new one I've never heard in 25 years as an in-home caregiver and a homecare business owner.
We used to just call that hiring 'under-the-table' because you're paying in cash. Nothing wrong with that if it's just for a few days and maybe you're going somewhere local. It can be famously unreliable though. The OP has a cruise planned. They aren't going to turn the ship around and bring the OP back into port if the 'quietly paid' caregiver doesn't work out with the mother, or the back out at the last minute.
The safest bet is to find a nursing home who will take the mother for the amount of time. Or go through a homecare agency because they will be legally responsible to make sure there's a caregiver with the mother 24/7 while they are away.
Also look into places that do ""rehab" many of those facilities will take Long Term Care residents. there may be a spot there.
You can also look at a caregiving agency that can provide 24/7 care in the home. It will be expensive. Not sure of the cost between that and a facility and having to cancel your trip.
If mom is on Hospice Hospice will also cover Respite.
You might also want to look into the Medicare Program called GUIDE according to the information I have it will provide up to $2500 for Respite care. That might help with the 24/7 cost of an agency.