Does anyone have recommendations for meal delivery services other than Meals on Wheels? My mother is 83, and her mobility and self-motivation have declined a lot over the last five years. She simply cannot/will not get groceries for herself.
This has been an ongoing fight between us. I live 600 miles away, and every time I visit (every couple of months), there is no food in the house. Like none. I don't know what she is eating. I stock up her fridge and freezer when I am there, but when that food runs out, she goes to CVS and buys candy and junk food and that's all she eats. Every time I try to talk to her about this, she acts like it's not a problem. It is a problem, and it's becoming worse — she has all kinds of nutritional deficiencies.
I tried talking her into Meals on Wheels, but she said no because she can't pick what she wants. She is an extremely picky eater, and won't put in any effort other than microwaving. I can set up Instacart orders for her, but the shoppers won't come inside the house, and moving the groceries from the front door to the kitchen is difficult for her.
I am trying to come up with an alternative and looking for a meal delivery service I could sign her up for. Any recommendations?
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This is a challenging situation. Hoping you can find a helpful solution.
I sent a couple meals to a co-worker who recently had surgery. Kind of expensive but I was told the meals are great and for $80 they received one meal that said it would feed 3 - 4 people. You can select which meals you want and everything comes fully cooked, just nuke it.
Have you actually witnessed Mom using the microwave any more ? Perhaps she says and actually believes she does but doesn’t .
On the phone, my grandmother used to talk about the meals she made. We discovered there was no food in the house either . She was remembering the meals she used to make.
Have your Mom tested for Dementia .
Regardless , perhaps assisted living would be best , where meals etc will be done for her .
It sounds like she is adept at presenting obstacles to your attempts at providing her with healthy nutrition. If she is independent enough to go buy junk food for herself, and feels that it is not a problem for her, and rejects meals on wheels, or any food that she doesn't want, I wonder what she is doing with the groceries you are leaving for her.
You might consider having a hired home care aid who will prepare food for her and make sure she eats. She can have an aid go shopping, or at least bring in the instacart order, put it away, and make a sandwich or something simple for her to eat. They could prepare a couple day's worth of healthy snacks and microwaveable meals. If the food is easily accessible in the fridge, your mother is more likely to eat that.
She might like having this control over what they make if she is picky.
If she is just eating sweets now because that is the only thing she can taste anymore due to age, I doubt you will have much success in getting her to eat anything else.
That’s an oddly specific obstacle. There are all sorts of tools that can help with this- my mom can hardly walk but she uses her rollator walker to move things.
It sounds like she is stubborn. I’d be concerned that she’ll refuse any solution you might come up with. How is her cognition otherwise?
Nothing was said about her mother REFUSING to move the groceries to the kitchen. I have groceries delivered all the time and at 75 it can be difficult at times to bend over and pick up heavier bags and carry them. Some shoppers are not as careful how they pack the groceries.
I totally understand how a daughter, living 600 miles from her mother, would not want to add any risks for her mother falling. I know I would feel bad if I insisted on "helping" in a way I felt may be unsafe and something happened.
Also, does she run out of money when the food you provide is gone? That is an issue for some of us seniors.
Does she need to apply for SNAP to help her when she runs out?
When I've gotten low on food, it was easier to pick up a few snacks to tide me over until my SS arrived. Could that be her issue?
Also, CVS sells canned soup, canned veggies and some frozen food, too - if that's easier for her to get to than the grocery store. Costs a little more though.
Something that always worked for her too was buying the deli salads at these stores, things like chicken salad, potato salad, pasta salads, foods that were simple enough to just put on plate and eat. Another thing that I did was hire a senior helper. I used the organization called Senior Helping Seniors. It was the best money we spent a few times a week to help her with whatever she needed.
The organization employs older adults who were just amazing. I felt it was a great fit because it made my mom more comfortable working with someone closer to her age vs someone who was much younger. It wasn't a cheap endeavor, but I don't think my mom would have survived if I did not have them. They also took her out to a restaurant a few times a week too as fun way to get her to eat.
I had to get creative when it came to meals because like you, I was doing meal prep and grocery shopping when I visited, which was monthly. Obviously fresh foods and prepared meals only last for the week in the fridge, so the other three weeks of the month came from the grocery stores or restaurants. I also utilized Uber Eats too but that was quite expensive, but I would find a cheaper restaurant and order multiple meals at a time that she could just place in her fridge and reheat. She loved this option when the grocery store meals because repetitive. I hope you are able to find a successful solution. I know how stressful this is along with the constant worry.
Side note: my sister and I have been trying to get my (fit and able) 91-year old dad to move to a really nice independent living for two years. He finally consented to a tour, which included lunch. Well, guess what? He liked the lunch so much that he started going there for their lectures and special events (and they invited him to several more free lunches). He has six friends there now to share the table. He moves in tomorrow!🥳
You can select general wellness or various diets too, lower salt, diabetes friendly, high protein, gluten free, etc. There are a lot of choices, including breakfast, lunch, and dinner options.
I deliver mobile meals, not meals on wheels, it is 2 prepared meals delivered Monday through Friday, lunch and dinner and most of the food is really good. We deliver wherever the elder wants it. Some, that are more than able, have me set it up at their table. Others come out and take it in, one item at a time, while others just have me put it in the fridge. So you can potentially find a service that can be more assistive to your mom.
Where I live, meals on wheels is delivered frozen weekly. If it is the same for your moms area, she can choose what she wants from the weekly delivery.
It is very common for seniors to eat junk. I had one old guy that had a fridge full of good quality meals, microwave and eat and I had to regularly take a garbage bag full of food to the dumpster, I was afraid he would eat something very expired, so I took this upon myself, but, he was ALWAYS eating cookies when I showed up, I couldn't entice him with any of the food I brought and from what I could see, he wasn't eating any of it, no matter what it was. So your mom being okay with what she can get from CVS is not surprising.
I can't remember the name, but I saw an advertisement for prepared, microwavable meals that you get weekly from one of the newer companies selling home delivery meals.
Prayers that you can find a workable solution, healthy eating just makes us feel better.
I'm 88 with back problems and lifting/carrying heavy bags of groceries is becoming more difficult for me so I may be dealing with a similar situation soon. My 95 Y/O spouse has balance issues so cannot help as much as he once did.
I guess the problem is you have to give the person a debit or credit card. There is a trust/theft factor involved.
Mom is a celiac so we ended up doing this for Mom's foods as instacart was problematic. We had a person we knew from the community and I paid her a 3 hour minimum (never took this long.)
My neighbors daughter had to do that.
I've seen the Meals on Wheels foods in Flathead County Montana and they looked pretty good. They also serve the same Meals on Wheels meals at the senior center and generally would get around 30-40 seniors each day for lunch. Have you considered ordering the Meals on Wheels and tell her she will be getting them?