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I have a healthy lifestyle with a great diet, daily meditation, practice yoga, pilates and weightlifting, but nonetheless I feel anxious and stressed. Since Mom (89 yo and in a NH) began losing weight due to not eating over the last few months, she has been placed on hospice with a diagnosis of malnutrition. I cannot get rid of the physical aches and it's a new normal for me.

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I have noticed that my hands in particular ache and have significant pain (wrists, around thumbs, etc). Now, this has gone on for more years than I have been caring for dad, but it’s more severe now. I recently noticed that I am clenching my hands at night (I think it’s the mental stress carrying over. I often “worry” in my sleep about different aspects of his life/health/etc). Going to try relaxation stuff before bed and see if helps. If body is tensed all night, pain will surely ensue!

I have also found that artificial sugars will aggravate achy joints (a friend of mine who has rheumatoid arthritis told me her doctor warned her of this years ago, and I have found it to be true for me even though I do not have this). So maybe watch diet soda, etc Hope you get relief soon!
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MissGypsy May 13, 2026
Thank you for your time and insight.
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I take Magnesium supplements daily and it has helped greatly with the pain.
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Reply to JustAnon
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Hello fellow caregiver. I can offer my own experience. I am 54 yrs old female, and have been athletic my whole life. I did start slowing down on activitity levels from being an extreme sport athlete to a screeching halt to being near sedentary approximately 3 years ago.
When I turned approx 51 yrs of age, and my parents health declined, and I opted to mid-career life change that involved sitting in a chair a lot in front of the computer, and then becoming the caregiver in home to the both of them. Within 1 year, the stress of it all changed my health outcomes big time.
I halted almost all athletic and physical exercise, and started alternating between sitting in a chair in front of a computer for work, and hustling around helping my deteriorating parents to and fro Dr's appointments, lifting things for them and so forth.
I went from being in perfect health, to now being on approx. 6 medications daily over the past 2 years. I'll be honest on which medications these are: Statins, high blood pressure meds, anti-depressants, joint supplements, anti-anxiety medications. & additional herbal med's.
It had been my lifelong goal to live long into 70's-80's being westernized medication- free. Now I take more med's than my mother and father do, who are in their 80's & 90's and I due believe mostly due to the stress of caregiving.
I have several diagnosis' now, from physical to psychological, all of which I am medicated for because I simply do not have the time for self care between supporting myself, and the care and stress of my parents.
When I wake up each morning, it's like waking up to a body I never knew. Soreness and aches and pains merely getting out of bed, fatigue, depression and exhaustion all throughout the day.
Please google or research side effects of being a mid-life caregiver to aging parents. So scarey to hear that much research shows that caregiving for your parents may cut your lifespan significantly and that your parents may outlive you. This is no joke.
Please take any indication of pain or physical changes seriously, consult with your Dr at the same frequency you do for your parents, and remain steadfast in taking care of your own self first.
You've got to put your own oxygen mask on first sweetie, because if you don't you can't possibly help them, regardless of your selflessness or best intentions.
Sending much compassion and love your way.
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Reply to HeresToHope
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MissGypsy May 13, 2026
Sorry to hear of your situation, but I also thank you for sharing your personal journey. You have confirmed what I have been thinking and feeling. Your story resonates with me as I am also doing long-distance care giving for my 90 yo father who lives out of state. Mentally and emotionally I am so focused on both of them, but most people do not get it. Your compassion is much appreciated. Hope to hear in the future that you are doing better!
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Random but have you had your SED levels checked? And are you Ashkenazi Jewish? My mom experienced unexplained aching pain starting around age 70. She was diagnosed with polymyalgia which is apparently fairly common with this ethnicity (oh boy, I can't wait).

Now it could certainly be stress related, but your description of ongoing physical aches brought me back to that. It eventually resolved but not without a lot of steroids and meditation for pain management...
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MissGypsy May 13, 2026
No I am not, but your feedback is greatly appreciated.
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Any new symptoms should be evaluated by a doctor. It may be stress related but don’t simply assume this without evaluation. You may benefit from a medication to help you cope during this time. My dad greatly benefited from a low dose of Zoloft during his last years, it helped with dealing with sadness and stress. I wish you and mom both peace
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Reply to Daughterof1930
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YES! I have always been strong, active and fit. After 10 years of helping my husband transfer in and out of bed, in and out of the car, changing diapers, and oh, the stress! The mental stress also takes a physical toll on your body's overall health. I now hurt everywhere. My already arthritic knees and hips now can barely support me. I use a walker or wheelchair to get around. No matter how much stretching and exercise I do, it doesn't seem to make a difference.
I'm only 63, and I went from strong to not able to walk within a year's time.
I have a doctor appointment scheduled to get answers and try and resolve.
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Reply to CaringWifeAZ
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MissGypsy May 13, 2026
Thank you for taking the time out of your busy schedule to reply and offer your personal experience. Good luck to you!
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