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Don't know if this helps as I live in the UK and have had a very similar experience and it may or may not help you. My conman of a brother has got my mum to change her will when she was confused and weak and old .The problem you may have is proving it I have written and spoke to many solicitors and without proof they wont pursue the case have you full proof of a fraud? if so go to a solicitor don't bother with the police they see it as a family matter, well they do in the UK .My proof was lost and my thieving brother and his thieving wife have my mums house and money now my mum had always wanted 50/50 for her 2 boys' these thieving bastards have conned mum and disrespected my mums wishes ignoring her wishes after she had gone they really are a pair of money grabbing scumbags.Good luck with your case but without full proof don't waste your time .
calling the police is good advice, if they are unable to assist, then I would get APS (adult protective services) involved usually you can find them at your local Social and Health Services office. and yes, that would classify as elder financial abuse.
Usually the most recently signed POA doc is what authorities view as valid. However, if you can prove that your mum was mentally incapacitated at that time, you may have a case (medical records, psych exam, etc.). Hire an attorney to help.
As jpkoalabear mentions, the challenge is showing proof. While it may seem as plain as day to you and me that your brother's intent is malicious, nevertheless the fact that he has been legitimately been granted POA is a legal fact. The good thing is that POA can be changed, depending on the state that your mother is in. While this certainly appears to be elder financial abuse, until your mother states that he is acting against her wishes, it will be hard to actually establish this.
In my case, my sister had moved in with her husband and kids into my parents house to take care of our parents. She got POA and received a high compensation (maximum amount from a previous state) of $6000/month to take care of our parents. Our parents health was pretty good, being functional, alert, and quite cogent. Eventually, my parents elder law attorney, whom my sister arranged for them to set up the POA and Will, didn't like what was going on, and felt the level of care didn't come close to the compensation awarded. However, before contacting APS, even the lawyer needed to hear it straight from my parents how they felt about the care. At first, my parents weren't ready to cooperate and supported my sister, but after going to a neutral location where the lawyer confirmed to my parents that they could safely confide in her with complete confidentiality they shared that they weren't happy with the level of care, and also thought the compensation being asked from them was too much. Only then did the lawyer approach APS and set things in motion for removing my sister from POA, moving her out of their home, and helping my parents relocate to an assisted living arrangement of their choice. The lawyer also then set up a neutral third party elder financial service provider as POA.
Like the others here, I saw my sister's actions as being suspect, but lacked proof and cooperation from my parents to take action.
We had this problem when my auntie was abusing her POA status! You can phone the POA office and give the names of people involved and they shall look into it if he is seen to be abusing his status they can remove the POA with no questions asked :) hope this helps
Wow, everyone, these are devastating stories. jpkoala bear, so sorry you had to go through this. sleepless44, good for you and your parents for hanging in there and getting it right.
There is a duty on the solicitor to establish that the POA has been set up properly - i.e. the elderly person is sufficiently campus mantis to give the power of attorney over to said person. If it has been done without a solicitor there is still a requirement for the person to be sufficiently cognoscenti to confirm that person as POA. It is NOT sufficient for a solicitor to say do you want x to be your POA and get a yes response. Chances are if she had said do you want Chew Bacca to be your POA she would still have gotten a yes response. The person actually has to understand the concept of POA and what responsibilities he or she may be relinquishing. If dementia is present that doesn't totally nullify the issues. In the early stages of dementia - even if it has been confirmed some people can still make choices and understand the issues involved. Later of course this will not be the case.
I have a friend who tells me this. The day you get your bank account you should also get a POA. No-one likes to think of themselves as mortal at 18 or so but she is right. A relative of ours had separate accounts from her hubby. He clearly transferred the housekeeping into her account each month and the rest was used for everything else. they saw no need to have joint accounts or POAs and the like.
He fell 6 years ago and hit his head on a marble hearth. In the blink of an eye he became brain damaged and his bank account was immediately stopped from transactions. Since no POA was in place the award went to the courts and she had to beg to be given her housekeeping. She now lives in utter poverty with no running hot water while he stays in a 5 star care home. He doesn't know who she is and she wants to die because she is so alone. So take heed my friends.
As for this specific issue you would have to prove trickery. And that won't be easy I suspect. However the law (certainly in California and I imagine everywhere else) is very clear....
POA abuse is the misuse by the attorney of the authority granted by the donor. It means making a decision or taking an action that is not in the donor’s best interest. An example would be when the attorney spends the donor’s money to benefit the attorney, rather than the donor, without permission. It may also include forging the donor’s name on the POA or coercing someone to make a POA against their wishes.
hence my comments about the duty of the attorney on all of this
POA is how my sister in law ended my Dad, my Mother, and our primary caregiver's lives. Next he will want her Medical POA. You should try like everything have your Mother sign an uptodate POA. This needs to be done ASAP and I personally would keep the new POA quiet as long as you can. What My sister and I have been through involved 7 lawyers and all were corrupt. There should have been no lawyers for my Dad had it all taken care of by a trust lawyer. One of the honest lawyers in my town told me it is going on everywhere so no lawyers want the truth, they want the money. Both of my brothers had terrible past but the lawyers kept us quiet so they could clean all the assets after they killed the elderly and threaten and tortured all the witnesses. Louisiana
Has he abused his position yet, or do you think he might? Because if so, you need to do something. As POA, he has control of her bank accounts and makes all decisions. I would keep an eye on him, but he can shut you out quick if he wanted to. If he got her to do this when she was confused and not able to think clearly, then you might have a chance. Good luck.
In the US when there are two competing POA's you to go to court and file for guardianship. This is where you and your brother will present your case to the judge explaining why you should be in charge of your parents resources and whether or not your mother was of sound mind and judgment to name either of you as her agent. Kind a like a custody battle between parents This is when it's most important to seek consultation from an elder law attorney not your typical estate planning lawyer. I would also advise only make a PS report if you have to have reasonable suspicion of abuse. Butt one good step may be to call them and get educated on your specific state's (or country) laws . Then I would keep a journal and document anything that you find suspicious about how he performs his duties. It's a long process but if you really believe it's in your mom's best interest to remove him as POA I would encourage you to stay the course.
thanks for that story. Two years ago I nearly had to brow beat my husband into putting my name on all of his accounts. He is 82 and in very poor health. I felt like a rat being so strident with him--after this story, I realize that i was RIGHT.
Your brother can do nothing with the POA as long as your mother is mentally competent. In order to invoke the POA he has to prove she is no longer competent. If your mother is mentally competent and agreeable, simply take her to an attorney and have a new POA created, voiding the original one; if she is not mentally competent, then you have a harder road. You will need the doctor to declare she was mentally incompetent at the time the brother had the POA done and you will have to obtain an attorney and fight a legal battle. Good luck.
I am so sorry you and your mom are going through this horror. My husband and I had the exact same situation with his brother and mother. Calling the police will not help, they aren't likely to get involved in that. You can call Adult Protective Services in your county and they will advise you. After that, you can speak to your mother and see if she really wanted that person to be her POA and if she even understands what that means. If she doesn't want that person and she is competent, she can sign a new POA choosing the person she wants. If she has already been declared incompetent she can't sign anything and you will need a lawyer and to go through a very expensive process to have her recent POA determined to be invalid. I invite you to check out the book I wrote about our story called TAles from the Family Crypt: When aging parents die, sibling rivalry lives
It breaks my heart when I read stories like this. When a love one is on their journey "home", this is a time when family comes together to embrace & unite to support each other. I heard $$$ can break up a family, hopefully, I will never experience this. There are more professional people that can direct you to the "Legal" resources you might need, but Please...Please..Please... remember, this is MOM & I am sure it will break her heart if she is witnessed to the family separation. I wish you & your family strength & really think about what is the worth of losing family over. God Bless
How did he trick her? My brother was POA and he didn't care about anything except the money, which he said he didn't even care about at the time. I had to go with my dad to change the POA to my name. The attorney has to be present at the time and it has to be determined that the person is of sound mind, when they sign.
This is so horrendous and it happens frequently! My sister and her husband did this to my father 3 years ago when he was in hospice and they THOUGHT he was "on his way out". But thanks to the care he received and the grace of God he fooled everyone and lived 7 more months! My father did not have Alzheimers however and he was always cognizant, he had late stage COPD from smoking but his mind was intact. In those months that he lived on he realized what they were doing and he made ME the POA. I was able to halt at least some of the mess they created and the Care Center where he was at got in touch with the OMBUDSMAN for the state of NJ Senior Abuse not for their attempt to steal from him directly but because they were also stealing from the nursing home which it is almost impossible to get away with. The OMBUDSMAN came down and investigated and they did not do jail time but they DID get stuck with a bill for over $21,000.00 which they were trying to pin on me! I was able to put a stop to any more stealing . And I legally got emancipated from them as a family so I was free of any more debt and thievery they had incurred. My father did pass away 7 months later but in those months he because closer to my son and myself and my sis has to live with the guilt of his knowing they were stealing from him! The police really cannot do anything directly but they can put you in contact with either Senior Abuse offices in NJ or the state you live in as this issue is, unfortunately, very predominant right now. There are numerous offices in every state specially appointed for issues such as this or if she is in a Nursing Home, the OMBUDSMAN for that state can be called by the Nursing Home to investigate. Good luck - isn't it horrible to see what family can do to each other and to a parent? I always keep saying to myself about my sister "What goes around comes around!" And it will!
Yes it happened to my husband too.We knew about how mush she had in bonds and savings.But since we lived out of state and he was there all the time it looked like he was the only one caring for her. She was in nursing home for stoke . Their sister was a slow person and was lucky to get the car (she can't drive- lol). hubby got about $2000.00... and brother said he got the rest for doing paper work and being her ex. Called a lawyer and he said we did not have a leg- As long as everyone was mentioned in will (he got what she wanted him to have.) We wanted to see all her estate stuff and here again denied. So we got what we got and he got house paid and he had to pay to send their mom out of state to be buried. Next to second hubby. This son hated his dad for not being man enough to stay with their mother after she cheated on him when he was about 12-13. .My husband was in service then.He must of hated alt of family -for the way he treats them now- It's like he's afraid he's going to get caught and we can read his mind. Guilty his conscious is ouching him lol.
I agree with Eldercarewiz and fourth daughter. The first thing you need to do is consult the eldrelaw attorney and take your mother to a neuropsych MD to evaluate her for dementia. There are also people called forensic psychologists who can determine if at the time your mom signed the POA she was competent or not. If she was not then the Elder Protective Services and an attorney can move forward with the courts to have your brother removed and have him repay any money he used inapporpriately. He will also be prosecuted. On the other hand if he was not coercing her and she is or was of sound mind, unfortnately she can make poor decisions. Decisons not in her best interest are often made by elders and their is nothing we can do to protect them if they are of sound mind. (competent.) This is where you need a complete Neuropsych exam, not only Folstein Mini Mental exam screening or the St. Louis University screening, but the full exam administered for a few hours by a licensed neuropsychologist. In my location I take my client to a medical physician who is also a neuropsychologist. The assessment is complete and they can determine her level of function and give a clear look as to what things she is capable of doing and what things, decison making and other which she needs help with. I wish you luck with this long and grueling process. Guardianship can be an option but it wouls be best to have the evidence of the medical and psych evaluation before going to court. This will expedite the process, but it is still a financial drain on your mother's estate and also a difficult thing emotionally for you and her to go through.
File charges against your brother for elder abuse first thing. It is financial abuse. Have an estopel (stop action) on the bank accounts due & place a les pendins (suit pending) attachment. Nobody will be able to touch them. You will need an attorney for all of this.
A POA is a legal document that requires a witness to attest to the signature in front of a notary public. In many jurisdictions it can be registered with the local County. The notary or magistrate should be able to attest if the person presented before him to designate the person in the POA was able of free mind to sign the document. This type of family feud is unfortunate and the medical evidence of competency is vital.
Most of the time the one who cares and does all the work taking care of parent is the one that lies are told on. The greedy sibling that makes these lying comments are the ones that don't help and are very selfish and narcisist I would suggest any one making this type of accusation be put in jail for a different type of parent abuse and that is not being present or helping in any way. Go to lawyer and file a false accusation report. The truth will come out.
We require a ' PROTECTION OF THE INDIGENT ACT' TO PREVENT THIS TYPE OF IN FIGHTING AND GREEDY SIBLINGS. THIS IS A VERY COMMON FAMILY PROBLEM AND NEEDS TO BE ADDRESSED IN EACH COUNTRY.
I would suggest you contact an Elder Law Attorney. You can find one through the bar association in your state. They will know what needs to be done. If you mother is of sound mind, then your pretty much sol, but if your mother has dementia then you have a much better change of getting the POA reversed or the court may appoint a conservator for your mother. Her primary doctor is a good source of information on whether your mother has the ability to understand.
Begging you to be careful when throwing that accusation around, pamstegma, tina77 and any of the others of you ready to suggest accusing someone of elder financial abuse. It devastates and destroys lives if wrong. That said, in texastiedup's case, I would suggest they speak with an eldercare attorney. The question, not to offend, begs to know how much you were involved in your Mom's daily life, and how your brother was able to separate you from her enough to trick your Mom. Speak with the lawyer who changed the POA. Was this her regular lawyer or someone new your brother chose? If it was the regular family attorney, did the change seem strange to him/her? What reason did they give for the change? Please get ALL the information you can before moving forward. I wish you good luck, and peace for your Mom. Your relationship with your brother may be irretrievably broken, but that has to be okay, and you can deal with that, I'm sure. If it's about money, let him have it. What will it really benefit him in the end--ill gotten gains always end up paying for more harm than good. I told my Mom not to leave an inheritance, which made me wildly unpopular with my sibs. I spent 11 years taking care of Mom 24/7 only to be blindsided and falsely accused. It's taking a very long time to rebuild my life. I found myself homeless, jobless and broke at 61. I cared for my mother well, on my own. Now, under the care if my sibs, she is frail, unhappy and declining rapidly. I continue to fight for her as best I can, but with little or no resources, I don't know if I can save her in time. Again, good luck to you.
Did he have help from a lawyer who works with the department of Aging? Did he have a fiduciary lawyer that only does elder care law such as wills and Probates and gets highly paid for it? Is your mom of sound mind and able to make a decision such as this? If not you have grounds. Does your brother have a rap sheet or a record because if he does you can get this POA appealed. The other thing is was this POA stamped with a notary stamp by someone in the Administration or an Admissions Coordinator because if it was or even if he took it to get notarized and your mom was on a lot of medication or not feeling well at the time you could talk to your lawyer about getting the POA revoked and put back in your name. Since your brother is this sneaky going to a lawyer, your lawyer is the best defense you have. Going to the police would likely lead to them calling adult protective services and since your brother is that sneaky more than likely since he has the courts on his side he probably paid a judge for an emergency POA that would be permanent and had his own lawyers change your moms will and he was probably made emergency permanent guardian over her estate. You will have to drag this out in court to get these orders rescinded but it is better than not doing anything at all. If you do go to court and your brother starts threatening you your best line of defense then is to document each time he calls or has someone come by the house and get an Order of Protection. If you choose to call the police have a witness to your brothers behavior you may need them so you can file a complaint against your brother. If you file a complaint you may also have to have him charged with elder abuse. The other situation is are you still allowed to visit with your mom or did he cut the visits off all together. You have to document that when making a complaint to the police.
Even if the POA was signed with full understanding and consent of your mom, it is doubtful it permits him to change the accounts so they pass to him. There is the legal concept of "fiduciary duty" of the agent under a Power of Attorney, as well as state laws that prohibit the agent from using the power to benefit themselves. I would definitely consult with an attorney with elder law experience to assist you in this matter.
It has happened that when siblings disagree on who should have control, judges have given guardianship to a third party who can prohibit either child from seeing their parent and spend the parents estate on the court appointed guardians fees. Try to mediate with all concerned and stay out of court.
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My conman of a brother has got my mum to change her will when she was confused and weak and old .The problem you may have is proving it I have written and spoke to many solicitors and without proof they wont pursue the case have you full proof of a fraud? if so go to a solicitor don't bother with the police they see it as a family matter, well they do in the UK .My proof was lost and my thieving brother and his thieving wife have my mums house and money now my mum had always wanted 50/50 for her 2 boys' these thieving bastards have conned mum and disrespected my mums wishes ignoring her wishes after she had gone they really are a pair of money grabbing scumbags.Good luck with your case but without full proof don't waste your time .
In my case, my sister had moved in with her husband and kids into my parents house to take care of our parents. She got POA and received a high compensation (maximum amount from a previous state) of $6000/month to take care of our parents. Our parents health was pretty good, being functional, alert, and quite cogent. Eventually, my parents elder law attorney, whom my sister arranged for them to set up the POA and Will, didn't like what was going on, and felt the level of care didn't come close to the compensation awarded. However, before contacting APS, even the lawyer needed to hear it straight from my parents how they felt about the care. At first, my parents weren't ready to cooperate and supported my sister, but after going to a neutral location where the lawyer confirmed to my parents that they could safely confide in her with complete confidentiality they shared that they weren't happy with the level of care, and also thought the compensation being asked from them was too much. Only then did the lawyer approach APS and set things in motion for removing my sister from POA, moving her out of their home, and helping my parents relocate to an assisted living arrangement of their choice. The lawyer also then set up a neutral third party elder financial service provider as POA.
Like the others here, I saw my sister's actions as being suspect, but lacked proof and cooperation from my parents to take action.
I have a friend who tells me this. The day you get your bank account you should also get a POA. No-one likes to think of themselves as mortal at 18 or so but she is right. A relative of ours had separate accounts from her hubby. He clearly transferred the housekeeping into her account each month and the rest was used for everything else. they saw no need to have joint accounts or POAs and the like.
He fell 6 years ago and hit his head on a marble hearth. In the blink of an eye he became brain damaged and his bank account was immediately stopped from transactions. Since no POA was in place the award went to the courts and she had to beg to be given her housekeeping. She now lives in utter poverty with no running hot water while he stays in a 5 star care home. He doesn't know who she is and she wants to die because she is so alone. So take heed my friends.
As for this specific issue you would have to prove trickery. And that won't be easy I suspect. However the law (certainly in California and I imagine everywhere else) is very clear....
POA abuse is the misuse by the attorney of the authority granted by the donor. It means making a decision or taking an action that is not in the donor’s best interest. An example would be when the attorney spends the donor’s money to benefit the attorney, rather than the donor, without permission. It may also include forging the donor’s name on the POA or coercing someone to make a POA against their wishes.
hence my comments about the duty of the attorney on all of this
thanks for that story. Two years ago I nearly had to brow beat my husband into putting my name on all of his accounts. He is 82 and in very poor health. I felt like a rat being so strident with him--after this story, I realize that i was RIGHT.
Thank you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The police really cannot do anything directly but they can put you in contact with either Senior Abuse offices in NJ or the state you live in as this issue is, unfortunately, very predominant right now. There are numerous offices in every state specially appointed for issues such as this or if she is in a Nursing Home, the OMBUDSMAN for that state can be called by the Nursing Home to investigate. Good luck - isn't it horrible to see what family can do to each other and to a parent? I always keep saying to myself about my sister "What goes around comes around!" And it will!