My sister has power of attorney over my mothers care and financesThis was never originally discussed with me and I trusted my sister. Mum went into a care home this year property sold and finances have been dealt with in accounts again by my sister. I have no knowledge of where they are.She told me as I live abroad I could not have power of attorney. She lives 5 mins drive from where mum is. She now said literally she is done as mum's condition has become quite challenging and wants someone else to 'step up if they think they can do a better job'How do I go about gaining access to mums finances and some sort of control over her wellbeing as all decisions are currently made by her
2) I doubt if it’s correct that you cannot have POA yourself as you live abroad. However providing evidence of it while you are not local could be difficult. You will need to ask a local lawyer about that.
3) Tell S that you will “step up” if
a) she provides full details of all the financial and other facts, plus what she has done so far:
b) you will share with her what “better job” you intend to do, and discuss it if you don’t agree: and
c) she will support you in what you do.
“Step up if you think you can do a better job” sounds as though she feels criticised. If that’s what is happening, it would be a good idea to resolve any understandings, rather than following these fairly complicated suggestions. Margaret, non-local LLB FCCA
What country is your Mum/Mom living in? Your sister is correct that any legal representative needs to be local to your Mom, especially since she is worsening.
I get vibe that you have been critical of how you "think" her finances are being handled. What gives you that idea? What makes you think her wellbeing is not your sisters priority. Have you any idea what the cost of a care home as a self pay resident costs? What have you done in terms of care giving with your mother? How often have you visited and seen for your self the decline that your sister has told you about? How have you stepped up in the past? You may want to ponder how you can help in a non POA capacity to see if you really want to step up and then decide if you are truly best for the role.
Your mother is already in LTC. Unless she is a very wealthy woman or has spectacular LTC insurance, there's no money in it for you or your sister. That seems to be what you're getting at with your post here.
You should be grateful your sister takes all the responsibility. If she wants to have herself removed as the POA she can very easily through the court. No one is obligated to inform you though.