Can I get paid for taking care of my disabled Mother?

marisareid08, who paid for the alacare? Did she pay herself or was an agency involved? If an agency was involved, I suspect there was a case worker assigned. That would be an excellent starting source. Ask for an appointment with that person and discuss your mother's increased needs. A case worker should know what her agency can do and ALSO should be able to steer you to other sources.

If Mom has never had a case worker, get her one. Call her county's Social Services department and ask for a needs assessment appointment. (There may a big wait for this, but the sooner you start, the sooner it will happen.) Be sure you are present when that interview takes place. This person should have all kinds of information on what is available in her area. He or she can help you determine what to apply for and how to go about it.

This is how we went about it for our mother. At first she got the weekly vitals check. They added housekeeping (and my disabled brother got paid for cleaning her little apartment and doing her laundry). Signed her up for Meals on Wheels. They tried lots of methods to help her with her med taking. Mom eventually got to the point where she couldn't live alone even with that support. We were going to place her in Assisted Living when my newly-retired sister offered to take her in. This involved a switch in counties, but the new county just took over from the first one. My brother continued to clean her area of the house. My mother paid for her room and board out of her small SS. And my sister got paid for a certain number of caregiving hours per week (Not 24 a day!) This was great for Mom and cost the county a WHOLE LOT LESS than paying for a care center. The time finally came when she needed a care center. The case worker help with the administrative end of that transition.

My state was among the first (and for a long time only) states that recognized the common-sense approach of seeking the most cost-effective ways to provide care. Often that means paying family members!

I don't know how it is in your state. I think the way to begin the search to find out is to contact any case worker that has been involved or to start the tedious but beneficial process of getting Mom a case worker.

Another source of information of what is available should be your state's council on aging. I started with the Social Services department, but others here may be able to share their experiences with that route.

I'm on your side! If you are going to care for your mother, you should be entitled to the same compensation that would be paid to in-home help. Keeping Mom out of a care center as long as possible is most cost-effective for the county and state, too. Win-win, as far as I can see. But then I live in a state where that is public policy and has been for some time.

marisareid08, have you ever heard the expression "When all you have is a hammer, every problem looks like a nail"? cmagnum has been a long-time contributor to his site, and has offered many helpful and insightful responses. His particular "hammer" is dysfunction families and persons who are emotionally blackmailed into unhealthy relationships. I think your "I am supposed to do that" phrase lead him to wonder if that might be the case here.

My experiences are very different. I respect cmagnum's contributions, but sometimes my responses are in a different direction.

This site is most helpful if you don't expect any one answer to be absolutely right for you but read them all and see what you can get out of the whole batch. Try not to be judgmental of the responses you get. We are all caregivers, and we all do our best. Taking time out to try to help another caregiver, even if we are not always right or don't always understand the situation, should be appreciated.

Sorry, but if you quit a job, it was a huge mistake. How old is your mom? What other health problems does she have? Has her doctors said anything about where she should live?

No one is going to pay you and the money that might be available is not enough to live on.Can your mother afford to make a contract with you to pay you? If so, then why can't she use such money to pay for others to care for her? That would free you up to work.

How do you know you are supposed to do this? Religious or psychological via fear-obligation-guilt or because of a promise made in the past?

Why do you think that as one person that you can do 24/7 work? Are you super woman?

Sorry to ask such penetrating questions, but they need to be asked.

If your mother can afford to pay you, then, of course, you can work out any arrangement that suits you both. Be sure to have a personal care agreement drawn up, so that later if she needs to apply for Medicaid the money she pays you won't be considered a gift.

If you are asking whether some agency will pay you, they might. If Mother is eligible for Medicaid, if they approve her for a certain amount of in-home care, and if your state operates as my state does, then they can tell you which agency to sign up with, and tell the agency that you are to be assigned to your mother. You'd have the same training the agency provides to anyone, and they'd handle employment taxes, etc.

The rates for caregivers are not fantastic, but at least you are compensated for some of your effort, and you do keep building your own SS base.

My sister was paid for taking care of our mother for 14 months. Then Mom needed more care than could be provided in a private home by one person, and she moved into a Nursing Home. Give some thought to the level of care your mother needs now and how that can potentially change.

I don't know who says you "should" take care of your mother. You can be a wonderful daughter by arranging appropriate care, without providing it all yourself. But if you are going to provide some of it hands-on, then I wish you luck in getting compensated. None of us live on air and a little mist.

And no im not super woman but i am a 25 year old woman who takes care of her two kids and disabled mother 24/7 ....

@Jeannegibbs. I appreciate all of your answers. however i was raised in a family were you take care of the ones who always took care of you...so no its not black mail or anything like that. And as far as im concern if cmagnum as been doing this so long then he should know how to talk to a person with out sarcasm..

marisareid08 m that’s a very common question asking about being paid. Majority of grown children do not get paid for caring for their parent, unless the parent is financially able to pay from their own pocket. You would need an employment contract https://www.agingcare.com/documents/personal_care_agreement_AgingCare.pdf

If you live in the States, see If your parent qualifies for Medicaid, the State might allow a trained Caregiver come in to help for a couple hours. Also check to see if your State is one of those States that has a “Cash and Counseling” program to help you out, it‘s worth looking into. Note that each State has their own rules, regulations, and programs.

Also if your mother is a senior contact your county agency on aging for programs such as Meals on Wheels, Adult Day Care, etc... go to the website link https://www.agingcare.com/local/Area-Agency-on-Aging

What are your mother's disabilities.... sounds like she has mobility issues. Who was carrying for her prior to you willing to do the full-time caregiving? Or have you been her caregiver for quite some time? Or was this all sudden?

Why cmagnum asked if you were super-woman is because most of us on this forum are older and have been doing caregiving, being hands-on or logistical, know it can age you quickly and harm your health. Especially since you have two young children who also need your attention. Please note that 40% of caregivers die leaving behind the love one they were carrying.

You're welcome.

To marisareid08, you didn't say how old your mother was but I would think that Medicare or Medicaid would help reimburse you for care. check with them to see if they have a plan in place to pay children to care for their parents. I know at one time, they didn't but I've read articles that said they were discussing ways for children to get paid to take care of parents because of all the problems with abuse at the nursing homes. Also, talk to IRS. They will tell you whether it's ok for you to set up a plan with your mother to pay you just like she would pay a CNA to come take care of her daily. You would pay yourself wages and deduct taxes just like you would with anyone else. You may need her doctor's order to say she absolutely needs 24/7 care in order for you to be able to be paid but that shouldn't be a problem. Good luck with this. You're going to be tired from taking care of 2 kids, your house and mom but I know the feeling. Parents take care of kids and kids need to return the favor when they're old if possible. If not possible, maybe Medicare or Medicaid will help . Ignore cmagnum, you don't need that kind of help.

Please note that Medicare does not have any programs to pay relatives to care for their love ones at home. https://www.medicare.gov/coverage/home-health-services.html Medicare will pay for intermittent professional skilled nursing care, physical therapy, speech-language pathology services, continued occupational services all of which might be a hour a day couple days a week.

Medicaid might, depending on the State and what programs are available at this point in time, and if the patient is eligible. Note that grown child caregiver might feel that they are doing 12 hours of care of their loved one, and Medicaid might see it as only 4 hours of care. Like I said, it depends on the State rules and regulations.

Thank you @freqflyer