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I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
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Mom is 99 years old. Broke her hip and too old to do surgery per the Dr. Alzheimer’s and anxious. We would like to care for her in our home. Can we pay ourselves the same amount we were paying at the memory unit?
No you can’t pay yourself that amount. You can have a caregiver agreement drawn up & be paid a reasonable wage. Your MIL can also pay rent and contribute to the untitled and grocery bill. But the bigger issue here is, do you have any idea what you are getting in to here? She’s in memory care for a reason. Are you prepared to give up life as you know it? Your world will now center around her and her needs. Do you have a back up plan in case you become incapacitated? If you or your husband require care yourselves? What is your plan? Can you take care of 2 elders? Memory care costs $4k a month because your MIL is taken care of by professionals who do this for a living and have certain skills and training.
Ditto to what WorriedinCali stated. Even if your mother is now bedridden with her broken hip, it is a lot of work and commitment to care for her: feeding, bathing, hygiene, medications, turning, lifting, special hospital bed, etc. You will need to find/hire someone to care for her when you wish to have a break. Her behaviors can (and probably will) become more intense and stressful to deal with. Not trying to "talk you out of it"...just want you to go into it with your eyes wide open. Please read a few of the thousands of posts on this forum under the category of Burn Out. I sincerely wish you success, no matter which path you choose for her.
Yes you can pay yourself any amount that she agrees to. You will need a caregiver contract drawn up by a lawyer and her or her DPOA will have to sign it. 1k a week is not over charging for 24/7 care. That is the best price I have ever heard of for MC.
Be sure that you write the contract to cover respite workers and vacation time for yourselves. Caregiving is difficult at best and you will need to be able to get away for time to yourself every week. So make sure you have days off included.
I think that you should really think about what this looks like before you bring her home. Are you sure that she didn't fall because she had a spontaneous break? It is very common for that to happen.
Bedridden patients are especially challenging, please make sure that you can provide the care she requires before you bring her home. Best of luck.
As my daughter says "if they are a fall risk, they will fall". Even if in a wheelchair the State will not allow restraints. It only takes a second for a resident to stand up and try to walk. An aide cannot watch someone 24/7 and I don't think you can either. Your MIL has a Dementia. There is no reasoning with her. She will do whatever flitters through her mind at that moment. In her mind she does not know her limitations. Even if you explain them, her short term doesn't allow her to maintain the info.
If MIL is 91 than you are in your 60s. I am friendly with 2 sisters both CNAs. Both retired at 60 because they could no longer do what was needed to bath, dress, toilet, help transfer and roll over a resident. The one sister has screwed up her back. It seems to me that what you will need to do for MIL will be very physical. Can ur bodies take that, 24/7. With a broken hip it will be so very hard. I would think she is now wheelchair bound and not able to put any weight on that hip. I would just ask that all precautions the state allows be used. Alarm on the wheelchair. Her bed as close to the floor as possible with mats on both sides. I was told that one side of the bed can be put up the other left down. Mom was given a great geri chair. The bottom slanted back a little making it hard to get out. Had cushions on each side of her head if she fell asleep and it reclined. More comfortable than a wheelchair.
If your mother-in-law is eligible for Medi-Cal. Meaning she is low income- In California they have something called in-home support services. Or I HSS. You can sign up as an IHSS provider and your mother-in-law as a recipient and you will get paid. This is what I did for my mother. I hired a full-time live-in caregiver. And the state pays for it. Check out the website.
The OP is in Florida so her mother is not eligible for medi-cal. IHSS is not an option here and if her MIL is paying $4k a month for memory care then her MIL does not qualify for Medicaid either so the OP cannot be MILs caregiver & get paid through a state/Medicaid program.
Don't move her because of falls; falls will happen anywhere. And maybe even more so in your unfamiliar home. A decline will happen if you do move her.
Yes, with a caregiver agreement, you can pay yourself, yes, even $4,000.00 a month or more. Whatever is customary for home care in your area would be acceptable. But, mom then becomes an employer and taxes, etc will have to be withheld from the pay.
Who would negotiate the agreement? Mom, with dementia, cannot negotiate it. Is there a POA in place that would be able to negotiate in mom's best interest? Does mom have an elder law attorney that would help MOM with that?
The part concerning payment, unless you are POA and a provision has been made for payment then in my opinion, no you cannot be paid. And if you were, you may have to deduct for income taxes and SS which involves your contribution and Mom's, ur employer, contribution. (not sure about if family does the caring) Mom now has Dementia and cannot sign agreements either for payment towards care or rent. Even with Dementia her money is hers and if she ever needs Medicaid, there will be an accounting. Not sure if a lawyer can do anything.
If this were me, would not want the extra headache.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Memory care costs $4k a month because your MIL is taken care of by professionals who do this for a living and have certain skills and training.
Be sure that you write the contract to cover respite workers and vacation time for yourselves. Caregiving is difficult at best and you will need to be able to get away for time to yourself every week. So make sure you have days off included.
I think that you should really think about what this looks like before you bring her home. Are you sure that she didn't fall because she had a spontaneous break? It is very common for that to happen.
Bedridden patients are especially challenging, please make sure that you can provide the care she requires before you bring her home. Best of luck.
If MIL is 91 than you are in your 60s. I am friendly with 2 sisters both CNAs. Both retired at 60 because they could no longer do what was needed to bath, dress, toilet, help transfer and roll over a resident. The one sister has screwed up her back. It seems to me that what you will need to do for MIL will be very physical. Can ur bodies take that, 24/7. With a broken hip it will be so very hard. I would think she is now wheelchair bound and not able to put any weight on that hip. I would just ask that all precautions the state allows be used. Alarm on the wheelchair. Her bed as close to the floor as possible with mats on both sides. I was told that one side of the bed can be put up the other left down. Mom was given a great geri chair. The bottom slanted back a little making it hard to get out. Had cushions on each side of her head if she fell asleep and it reclined. More comfortable than a wheelchair.
This is what I did for my mother. I hired a full-time live-in caregiver. And the state pays for it. Check out the website.
Yes, with a caregiver agreement, you can pay yourself, yes, even $4,000.00 a month or more. Whatever is customary for home care in your area would be acceptable. But, mom then becomes an employer and taxes, etc will have to be withheld from the pay.
Who would negotiate the agreement? Mom, with dementia, cannot negotiate it. Is there a POA in place that would be able to negotiate in mom's best interest? Does mom have an elder law attorney that would help MOM with that?
If this were me, would not want the extra headache.
The POA form doesn’t necessarily have to have a provision saying the OP can be paid. The FL POA LAW may allow for the OP be compensated.