Are you sure you want to exit? Your progress will be lost.
Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
✔
I acknowledge and authorize
✔
I consent to the collection of my consumer health data.*
✔
I consent to the sharing of my consumer health data with qualified home care agencies.*
*If I am consenting on behalf of someone else, I have the proper authorization to do so. By clicking Get My Results, you agree to our Privacy Policy. You also consent to receive calls and texts, which may be autodialed, from us and our customer communities. Your consent is not a condition to using our service. Please visit our Terms of Use. for information about our privacy practices.
Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
Share a few details and we will match you to trusted home care in your area:
"Mom has a doctor's appointment next month on the 13th and I was wondering if you would be willing to take her this time? I know she'd like to see you."
"As you probably know, I am doing X, Y, Z, and A for Parent. I would welcome any help, or a financial contribution to hire some help. You certainly can make your own decisions for your own reasons. Just know that if you want to get involved in Parent's care, I would gladly work with you to figure out something that would work for your resources and schedule."
I like specifics details also. Tell your siblings what type of care your parents need and what you expect your siblings to do so that they can participate in your parents' care. If you aren't specific enough, they can say "You didn't TELL ME what you want me to do..so I did nothing." ;)
Oh boy, a letter can start all kinds of problems. It really is impersonal.
If siblings live close by, then have a family meeting. No inlaws, just siblings. Make a list of what you want to cover. Maybe an outline. And ask that they wait until you go over it before they speak. Give them a copy allowing for them to jot down notes. Ask that nothing be said until you read the whole outline. Don't say, "this is what I have done or do for Mom". Approach it as "these are Mom and Dads needs that I need help with. I can't do it alone". When you get thru it and then the excuses start, stop them and say you would like them to go home and talk it over with their spouses to how they can fit Mom and Dad into their schedules. That you all need to sacrifice something just think about what you feel you are willing to do. Tell them it is really unfair to think that one child can do it all . Plan a second meeting, with in laws, to hash out who can do what. Not they can't do what they can do.
If there are siblings who live farther away, then write a letter to them or those who don't show up. The letter could say that a family meeting was held to find out what support each of you should give Mom and Dad. Ask that they review the outline you enclosed and see what they can do to help. Maybe visit for a week and allow the others a rest. Maybe send money to help with the cost of diapers and meds that aren't covered fully by insurance. You may want to have a financial statement showing what your parents bring in and what goes out. I know when I started doing Moms bills five years ago she was just making it. She would not be able to do it now. Siblings may be surprised.
When they say sorry we can't help then your response could be that eventually you may need to place parents because you are not doing it alone and their needs will increase.
Not everyone is good at caregiving. But may not mind cooking meals, mowing grass, cleaning, if possible take parents out, babysitting so the main caregiver can go out to dinner or get a weekend/week away.
Me, it was a single effort. One brother 8 hours away, other going thru a divorce with children a lot younger than mine who were grown, he was the baby. Sister had passed away. I was the one who stayed close. After 20 months I chose to put Mom in an AL. I am not a caretaker 24/7. I really felt that I had done my share over the years. Plus my house was not built for someone who had falling problems and couldn't do stairs.
I think anyone who has the impulse to write vs meet knows that their family dynamic includes members who loudly voice their opinions and bully everyone else into silence or agreement so you end up with even less support than you had before. A formal letter seems kind of passive aggressive though, personally I would opt for email, text or social media if you are a fan of that. And don't do a group email because everyone will wait for someone else to step up first, be specific with you needs and target them individually.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
"Mom has a doctor's appointment next month on the 13th and I was wondering if you would be willing to take her this time? I know she'd like to see you."
If siblings live close by, then have a family meeting. No inlaws, just siblings. Make a list of what you want to cover. Maybe an outline. And ask that they wait until you go over it before they speak. Give them a copy allowing for them to jot down notes. Ask that nothing be said until you read the whole outline.
Don't say, "this is what I have done or do for Mom". Approach it as "these are Mom and Dads needs that I need help with. I can't do it alone". When you get thru it and then the excuses start, stop them and say you would like them to go home and talk it over with their spouses to how they can fit Mom and Dad into their schedules. That you all need to sacrifice something just think about what you feel you are willing to do. Tell them it is really unfair to think that one child can do it all . Plan a second meeting, with in laws, to hash out who can do what. Not they can't do what they can do.
If there are siblings who live farther away, then write a letter to them or those who don't show up. The letter could say that a family meeting was held to find out what support each of you should give Mom and Dad. Ask that they review the outline you enclosed and see what they can do to help. Maybe visit for a week and allow the others a rest. Maybe send money to help with the cost of diapers and meds that aren't covered fully by insurance. You may want to have a financial statement showing what your parents bring in and what goes out. I know when I started doing Moms bills five years ago she was just making it. She would not be able to do it now. Siblings may be surprised.
When they say sorry we can't help then your response could be that eventually you may need to place parents because you are not doing it alone and their needs will increase.
Not everyone is good at caregiving. But may not mind cooking meals, mowing grass, cleaning, if possible take parents out, babysitting so the main caregiver can go out to dinner or get a weekend/week away.
Me, it was a single effort. One brother 8 hours away, other going thru a divorce with children a lot younger than mine who were grown, he was the baby. Sister had passed away. I was the one who stayed close. After 20 months I chose to put Mom in an AL. I am not a caretaker 24/7. I really felt that I had done my share over the years. Plus my house was not built for someone who had falling problems and couldn't do stairs.