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Hello. My mom is in a nursing facility and is about to be admitted long term. She has no POA and I am doing what I can to manage things from long distance. She has a house with a housemate living there and 3 cats. The house cannot be sold due to code issues. She should be receiving Medicaid soon.


There are a lot of things beginning to pile up concerning what to do with the house, taxes, property, manage her care, bills, pending medicaid reinstatement, etc.


At this point, I don't know if I can handle things myself as I have more than a full plate to deal at work and home. How can a guardian be appointed? Is this something the nursing home or DSS can help with?
I want her to have the best care possible.


Thanks

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Once a guardian is appointed you will have no choice in care.
So if you want the best care possible it is on you to take care of that.
I would discuss options now with an elder law attorney.
You may want to call APS and tell them that you are unable to manage your mother's care and wish her to have a court appointed conservator to manage her care. But I would first make certain you understand all options moving forward.
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kenmtb May 12, 2025
Thanks, I have talked to elder care attorneys and they provided little information. APS sounds like a better option if they pick up the phone. Services seem booked up or something.
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if I were in your shoes, I would back away. Allow a court appointed guardian to assume responsibility for her care. Not you. Ask her and guardian to keep you informed where she is placed so you can visit her on your timetable. They will use all her assets for her care and there will be nothing to inherit. In my opinion, taking this on will consume your life, probably cost you your job and any personal life and sanity. I’m sorry you are going through this. It’s not your fault and not your responsibility to fix.
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kenmtb May 12, 2025
She does not have a guardian. That is what I am trying to find.
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kenmtb,

Here’s general advice that applies in most U.S. states for helping someone get a legal guardian for a parent:

Step 1. Confirm guardianship is needed. Before pursuing guardianship (a court process), make sure the person no longer has the capacity to manage their own health, safety or finances, that there is no POA or that the current POA agent is unavailable, unwilling, or acting improperly. Also make sure that less restrictive options, like supported decision making or social services oversight, are not sufficient.

Step 2. Petition the local probate or family court. Each state allows someone (a family member, concerned individual, or the state) to petition the court for guardianship or conservatorship. Guardian of the person handles personal and medical decisions. Conservator, or guardian of the estate, handles financial matters.

Step 3. If you don’t want to be the guardian, you can ask the court to appoint a professional guardian (a trained, neutral third party who is paid to do this).

To make this happen, the person petitioning the court can check a box or state in writing that they want someone other than themselves to serve. The court may require a referral from Adult Protective Services or a doctor/social worker stating the person needs help.

Step 4. Contact helpful agencies. The nursing home social worker can help gather documentation, coordinate medical assessments, and make referrals. Area Agency on Aging offers local resources and can connect families with legal aid or elder advocacy. Legal aid or legal services for seniors offers free or low cost help with guardianship petitions. The state’s Office of Public Guardian or equivalent handles guardianship for adults with no one to assist them.

Step 5. Search online for local help. Search “Public Guardian (county or state name). Search “County name, probate court guardianship forms”. Search “Area Agency on Aging (county or state name”).

I hope this helps you find the support that you need.
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I am my mom's guardian. I went to the courthouse and picked up the paperwork. They interviewed my mom, who was uncooperative, and my siblings. I had a court date. The judge had an interim guardian do the interviews with mom, my sibs, and myself. I was notified it was approved. It all took a few weeks. There was a fee that had to be paid as soon as I submitted the completed forms to the court initially. No attorney was needed.
I hope you are able to get it soon.
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TouchMatters May 11, 2025
Thank you! Very helpful although with this daughter being out of the area and seemingly not too involved, I strongly suggest she see an attorney. And, this writer asks how a Guardian can be appointed, which I addressed above. Gena
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I'm so sorry for all this stress. For you to pursue guardianship means having to go to court to make the case before a judge. It takes time and a fair amount of money. You won't be able to do it from afar. Or, you contact social services for the county she lives in and talk to a social worker to see about a court-appointed guardian. Then you won't have to deal with anything except interacting with your Mom. The legal guardian will take care of her taxes, her house, her housemate, etc. FYI the house can eventually be sold, it just needs to be brought up to code and comply with any other state requirements to make it sellable. Maybe consult with a certified elder law attorney to get details about pursuing guardianship yourself (and a cost estimate as this can vary greatly by state). The CELA can give you the pros and cons of either you or a 3rd party being her guardian.
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PeggySue2020 May 7, 2025
Houses are sold not up to code all the time. You may not get what you want for it, but it happens all the time.
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Talk to your local ADRC (Aging & Disabled Resource Center). This is a free service with professional experts to help guide and provide additional resources to help you make informed decisions.
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I can not sell the house, I imagine she would not be either. The house will have to he shut down. Her friend said he can find another place. The only thing left would be her old car which needs work.
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Thanks for the thoughtful answers. To be clear. I am looking to step back from the paperwork, taxes, bills, property issues and let professionals handle things. I do not have bandwidth to fix and sell the house. Local elder attorneys have been little help. Right now things have piled up and I have neglected my own health. Ill try APS again.

I just got a bunch of medicaid papers from the DSS person. Im not sure what they all are but she may have been accepted. If so I have to deal with the person moving out of her house, her cats and how to shut the place down. Her car is also at my place.

From what I understand, medicaid will use her income to pay for the NH and let her keep 30k plus 50 per month. Hopefully this will give the friend time to move out.

Again I would rather step away but the medicaid/house issues need attention.
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Attorneys have been limited help at best. She will be staying at a local facility long term. The last attorney I spoke with did not have any plan. I have so much on the plate right now. Perhaps DSS is the way to go. I dont think I can even buy her old car.
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Ask to speak with the case manager or social worker. This person is well-acquainted with the necessary steps to take.
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