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By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
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V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
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1. Ask the cousin why SHE isn't looking after her mother (?).
2. You really don't owe your cousin any explanation. As the saying goes, "JUST SAY NO!"
3. If you're not working and that's a temptation for the cousin to ask, find a job, even a volunteer one; it will reinforce positive self esteem if you choose wisely. And it's also a better alternative than caregiving (for free?).
You got some really good advice and reasons why it is not good to take this on. If you have cared for someone you are very aware what is involved. If not, its a very big responsibility. And if I did it, I would be paid and contract written up. It would be in their home and I would NOT be a live in. You are expected to be there 24/7as a live in and thats slavery. As said, you are an employee. U work 40 hours a week with time off and holidays. Dear Cousin would have to do the caring her/himself or hire someone on the days you are not there.
I found I was not a Caregiver. Not everyone is. You just asking the question means you really don't want to do this. So say NO now. It will be worse if you take on the job and then want to get out.
There was a member ages ago who took care of, I think, two of her parents. One after the other. When her Caregiving was over a family member mentioned she could take care of Auntie now. The member said NO. Her caregiving days were over. You are not responsible for your Aunt, cousin is. It would probably be best if she just placed Mom.
I'm mostly with BurntCaregiver on this. I've been an employer for 4 decades and one thing I learned is to never hire a relative or good friend, and don't work for one, either. Even for free. And trust me... it will be WORK. The ONLY condition in which I would consider saying yes in your case is if you have a very strong employment contract written up by an attorney which outlines your hourly rate, the maximum hours you are willing to work per day or week, what your vacation, federal holidays and benefits package would be (like healthcare, etc) and overtime pay. And they sign it. Even if they offer to pay you, I'm guessing they'd do it in cash. But did you know that in many states a privately hired caregiver is never considered a freelance, contract worker? They are full-on employees which means your cousin (or whoever hires you) needs to follow all labor and employment laws for their state or else they'll be sideways with the IRS (and so would you). You both would need to report the income and pay taxes on it. If you don't get paid as an employee (i.e. cash under the table) then nothing goes into your SS account for YOU to use when YOU need it in your elder years (and you WILL need it). I would politely pass on this and don't get sucked into it no matter how dire or what emergency comes up. Point them to an caregiving agency where they can get help or to a facility.
Another couple of issues that private pay, cash under the table, workers never consider. Unemployment insurance, to ensure a continuing income when the gig is up AND worker's compensation insurance, which covers a percentage of your income in the event of an injury and pays all medical bills related to the injury 100%.
I don't even need more information on your situation, my friend.
The answer to your cousin has to be a hard 'NO'.
Let me tell you something about caregiving jobs because I've done this line of work for a long time. The job is very rarely what the family or the care agency tells you it is. When it's for an elderly person it is NEVER what they describe. The person's care needs are ALWAYS more than you're told they will be. The reasons your cousin is trying to push the caregiving of his/her elderly mother off on you are as follows:
They (your cousin) don't want the responsibility of an elderly parent themselves (I'm assuming this aunt is your cousin's mother. And no judgment on them for not wanting this)
They want a family member (you) because that person will "look after" the mother well and can be trusted. Then when her care needs increase and get harder, you will have the full responsibility of her because you took it on and "offered" to help out.
They don't want to see assets and bank accounts (their potential inheritance) dwindled down paying for private-hire or agency-hire caregivers. By asking you (family) that means far less spent, or no pay at all.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
2. You really don't owe your cousin any explanation. As the saying goes, "JUST SAY NO!"
3. If you're not working and that's a temptation for the cousin to ask, find a job, even a volunteer one; it will reinforce positive self esteem if you choose wisely. And it's also a better alternative than caregiving (for free?).
I found I was not a Caregiver. Not everyone is. You just asking the question means you really don't want to do this. So say NO now. It will be worse if you take on the job and then want to get out.
There was a member ages ago who took care of, I think, two of her parents. One after the other. When her Caregiving was over a family member mentioned she could take care of Auntie now. The member said NO. Her caregiving days were over. You are not responsible for your Aunt, cousin is. It would probably be best if she just placed Mom.
The answer to your cousin has to be a hard 'NO'.
Let me tell you something about caregiving jobs because I've done this line of work for a long time. The job is very rarely what the family or the care agency tells you it is. When it's for an elderly person it is NEVER what they describe. The person's care needs are ALWAYS more than you're told they will be.
The reasons your cousin is trying to push the caregiving of his/her elderly mother off on you are as follows:
They (your cousin) don't want the responsibility of an elderly parent themselves (I'm assuming this aunt is your cousin's mother. And no judgment on them for not wanting this)
They want a family member (you) because that person will "look after" the mother well and can be trusted. Then when her care needs increase and get harder, you will have the full responsibility of her because you took it on and "offered" to help out.
They don't want to see assets and bank accounts (their potential inheritance) dwindled down paying for private-hire or agency-hire caregivers. By asking you (family) that means far less spent, or no pay at all.
Don't do it. Tell your cousin no.
A well-reasoned and excellent question. This happens ALL THE TIME when there's an elderly family member who needs caregiving.
Q1 are you female?
You don’t give any details. Care to share more? Is this your cousin’s mom? Why is she asking you to do this?