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Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
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My advice is not to give up your job. Help him deal with his loneliness in another way. Could he go to the senior center to visit with the people and have a meal? Could he do a jigsaw puzzle, crossword puzzle, or something to break the loneliness? But don't quit your job!
Can you support yourself on a half-time job? Will you be able to retire without paying into a retirement fund while working full-time? Can you do this another 5 to 10 years?
He doesn't want anyone else to keep him company. Sorry to be so blunt, but, "tough." Why does what he wants (your company) have higher priority than what you want (to work full time)?
I assume you love him and want to spend some time with him. Good. Do that.
Look into adult day health programs in your area.
Check out the senior center.
If he was ever active in a church, check what is available from that organization.
Help him out of his loneliness, without personally filling every void. He has had his life. You deserve yours, too.
lcafe, I know how mercenary this sounds, but unless your father can afford to compensate you for your lost earnings…
It's great that you're supportive of your father, but he can make choices too. For example, he can choose to get into the spirit of making new friends, or he can be lonesome for part of the week. The third option, that you sacrifice your income to help fill the void, isn't one he can make for you - unless you choose it yourself.
Giving up work for caregiving is a mug's game. I should know.
Icafe51, I remember back a couple years ago when my Dad wanted me to quit my job so that I could spend more time with him and Mom [they are also in their 90's]. I asked my Dad "Did you quit your job to take care of your parents?"...... I already knew the answer, it was no. He never asked me again.
Not knowing your gender, I believe the much older generation thinks that women should be home doing all the caregiving and not be working outside of the home. The last time my Mom was employed was in 1946, so my Dad doesn't have anything to base what is going on in my world.
Why do you think he is lonely? Maybe, he's content resting and reflecting. I often read that a senior who is in their 90's, aren't interested in going out or socializing.
Is he depressed? Maybe some medication could help with that and help his mood, but if not, I would allow him to do what he wants to do. I wonder if our idea of what a 90 year old person should be doing is realistic. Maybe a visit to church once a week is all they care for. Why not discuss it with your dad and see how he really feels about it. Is he really lonely or content to watch movies, read books, listen to music, etc. At any rate, staying home from work, if he is not in need of the care seems odd to me.
Thank you, thank you, all of you! Your various thoughts were so helpful. I am going to increase my hours snd live my life and drop the guilt. I have a friend who can drop in and check on him daily. Or take him out for a walk if he so desires. ❤️
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
He doesn't want anyone else to keep him company. Sorry to be so blunt, but, "tough." Why does what he wants (your company) have higher priority than what you want (to work full time)?
I assume you love him and want to spend some time with him. Good. Do that.
Look into adult day health programs in your area.
Check out the senior center.
If he was ever active in a church, check what is available from that organization.
Help him out of his loneliness, without personally filling every void. He has had his life. You deserve yours, too.
It's great that you're supportive of your father, but he can make choices too. For example, he can choose to get into the spirit of making new friends, or he can be lonesome for part of the week. The third option, that you sacrifice your income to help fill the void, isn't one he can make for you - unless you choose it yourself.
Giving up work for caregiving is a mug's game. I should know.
Not knowing your gender, I believe the much older generation thinks that women should be home doing all the caregiving and not be working outside of the home. The last time my Mom was employed was in 1946, so my Dad doesn't have anything to base what is going on in my world.
Is he depressed? Maybe some medication could help with that and help his mood, but if not, I would allow him to do what he wants to do. I wonder if our idea of what a 90 year old person should be doing is realistic. Maybe a visit to church once a week is all they care for. Why not discuss it with your dad and see how he really feels about it. Is he really lonely or content to watch movies, read books, listen to music, etc. At any rate, staying home from work, if he is not in need of the care seems odd to me.