Are you sure you want to exit? Your progress will be lost.
Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
✔
I acknowledge and authorize
✔
I consent to the collection of my consumer health data.*
✔
I consent to the sharing of my consumer health data with qualified home care agencies.*
*If I am consenting on behalf of someone else, I have the proper authorization to do so. By clicking Get My Results, you agree to our Privacy Policy. You also consent to receive calls and texts, which may be autodialed, from us and our customer communities. Your consent is not a condition to using our service. Please visit our Terms of Use. for information about our privacy practices.
Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
Share a few details and we will match you to trusted home care in your area:
Change the topic, use distraction or tell a "therapeutic fib" as to why travel isn't an option right now ("Your doctor says when your next physical shows good results").
What if you said, “where would you like to go if you could?” Then just talked about it like “If you could be there now, what would you do first?” And “yes, Hawaii sounds amazing! I have some pictures of it on my phone” Would this get it out of his system, or make him more obsessed? If he says” when can we go?” then you can say “as soon as the doctor okays it” or “we need to concentrate on getting you strong enough first.”
At one point when my dad had dementia, and was also physically frail, he was talking about wanting to go sledding on snowy hills and ice skating again like he had done when he was a boy. It was totally not happening, but I played along a bit “oh I didn’t know you knew how to ice skate!” Etc. It blew over.
Or — since you put this under mobility but did not mention dementia — are there short, easy outings that he could do? A drive in the country? Sitting on a park bench by a lake? A visit to an old friend?
i have also read about computer “trips” for elderly where it looks to them like they are driving, they see on Google Maps wherever it is that they want to go, but like in real time on the ground.
As long as he isn't standing up while using the VR headset if he has any type of balance issues. The travel video would need to not have much motion in it because they are very realistic and one's body will react as if truly part of the action.
There's nothing wrong with an old man wanting to do something he's no longer able and talking about it like he could. It's NOT on you to make these fantasies come true.
It's also not your job to be a Debbie Downer or Fun Police and tell him why his travel days are over.
Let him talk about and enjoy his fantasies. Join him in his reality. Ask him where he would go and what he would do. Show him videos of the places he talks about.
Don't worry about you telling him no more traveling. He will forget you said anything and probably ask again then you can use the suggestions.
People who suffer from Dementia and ALZ are in their own little world and you have to enter it. They are not able to differentiate between reality, dreams and the TV. I was in my Moms room one day and she told me the Doctor wanted to talk to me. She was watching Diagnosis Murder. You need to go with the flow and sometimes that means telling little fibs.
Maybe get some travel picture books (think they are called Coffee table books) Travel DVDs or Travel Station on cable. He may think he is really there. I set up my laptop to stream our Churches service for Mom. (She was getting overwhelmed in Church) I would get her breakfast and dressed and she thought she was there. When I came to get my laptop, she asked if I was there to pick her up, and I said yes.
My daughter has worked in NHs for 30 yrs. She helped me a lot with understanding how my Mothers mind was working. Don't argue with Dad, he has lost his ability to reason. Keep coming here and ask your questions and read the posts. We are here to help you with Dads journey.
Yes, but it may be time to let go of the pain that your dad is elderly and still wants things you cannot provide. My mom is the same way, but we have to let go of the guilt and pain.
Don’t feel bad . Dad does not understand the amount of work it would be for you to travel with him .
My hubs and I told my FIL that we don’t like cruising . He was trying to manipulate us to take him to Alaska by guilt tripping that his wife would never go . ( They had been on numerous other cruises ) . I told him he should have gone by himself when he was younger . He also tried to bribe my kids and us to go as a family . He never suggested family trips in the past. I asked him if he ever took his elderly father traveling with him . He said “ No “. He finally stopped asking .
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
At one point when my dad had dementia, and was also physically frail, he was talking about wanting to go sledding on snowy hills and ice skating again like he had done when he was a boy. It was totally not happening, but I played along a bit “oh I didn’t know you knew how to ice skate!” Etc. It blew over.
Or — since you put this under mobility but did not mention dementia — are there short, easy outings that he could do? A drive in the country? Sitting on a park bench by a lake? A visit to an old friend?
i have also read about computer “trips” for elderly where it looks to them like they are driving, they see on Google Maps wherever it is that they want to go, but like in real time on the ground.
It's also not your job to be a Debbie Downer or Fun Police and tell him why his travel days are over.
Let him talk about and enjoy his fantasies. Join him in his reality. Ask him where he would go and what he would do. Show him videos of the places he talks about.
People who suffer from Dementia and ALZ are in their own little world and you have to enter it. They are not able to differentiate between reality, dreams and the TV. I was in my Moms room one day and she told me the Doctor wanted to talk to me. She was watching Diagnosis Murder. You need to go with the flow and sometimes that means telling little fibs.
Maybe get some travel picture books (think they are called Coffee table books) Travel DVDs or Travel Station on cable. He may think he is really there. I set up my laptop to stream our Churches service for Mom. (She was getting overwhelmed in Church) I would get her breakfast and dressed and she thought she was there. When I came to get my laptop, she asked if I was there to pick her up, and I said yes.
My daughter has worked in NHs for 30 yrs. She helped me a lot with understanding how my Mothers mind was working. Don't argue with Dad, he has lost his ability to reason. Keep coming here and ask your questions and read the posts. We are here to help you with Dads journey.
My hubs and I told my FIL that we don’t like cruising . He was trying to manipulate us to take him to Alaska by guilt tripping that his wife would never go . ( They had been on numerous other cruises ) . I told him he should have gone by himself when he was younger . He also tried to bribe my kids and us to go as a family . He never suggested family trips in the past. I asked him if he ever took his elderly father traveling with him . He said “ No “. He finally stopped asking .