Dad is 86 just had an accident 4 days ago. Everyone involved is ok but it was his fault. His car has about 4000.00 worth of damage and is sitting in front of our home. His insurance only covers other drivers not his car. He has spent the morning calling car adds and wants us to take him to look at cars. He is looking at ones that cost under 1000.00. Point is he should not drive anymore and we have nicely so far told him we will not take him and that he should not drive.he only has one good eye anyway. While trying to talk to about this he makes excuses like he couldn't see over the front end of the other car or the sun was in his eyes. He says he has to drive or he will go nuts. I say that's better than killing someone or yourself. I think he is being selfish with no regards for others. I know this is going to be a battle and make our home a living hell. How do you deal with this? I have had 3 doctors tell him not to drive but won't go any further. I'll add he is a very let's say cranky man. Help please.
Once my Dad stopped driving because of a medical condition, which I had thought would be temporary, I became their chauffeur, and my folks wanted to get out the their house at least 3 times a day. So I had to use up my vacation/sick days, and eventually half days without pay to accommodate my parents. That was so foolish of me, I should had put my foot down at limited the driving because it wasn't temporary, it was permanent. Now six years later, I can barely drive as now I get too nervous behind the wheel from trying to juggle my work schedule :( Please don't let that happen to you.
Now why on earth would you get a car for someone who has no license?
Now go take the plates off the wreck and turn them in and save the receipt.
Notify the insurance company to cancel him. Be sure to tell them HE DOES NOT HAVE A VALID LICENSE ANYMORE and what the MD's said.
There is a DMV procedure to go through that would get him a letter stating the facts. It will vary a little bit state by state. Typically you can make a report yourself and it can be anonymous. Just being told by the doc you should not drive if no actual report was made to the DMV - and in a voluntary reporting state, which has certain positives, they may not do this unless you specifically ask them to - does not automatically remove the license. The conversation may have seemed optional and casual for him, like other medical advice that a lot of us don;t necessarily take seriously even if we should. The insurance company should do a cancellation letter if they have grounds to, and I'd think they might - was he ticketed? Will the premium go sky high if they don't cancel outright? It is not generally legal to drive without insurance and maybe he can understand that.
You can sympathize and agree with him that not driving any more really sucks, but be very firm. If there are things you can do to soften the blow, like offers to take him places every so often or even whenever he wants if it is practical, you can try that. I'm glad nothing worse happened than the loss of a good car.
Passed a few years ago. I hadn't thought of him taking our keys but I guess I better start thinking outside the box. I wish there was a help book like when I had my kids. Kind of a guide book. The not driving may just be the last straw with him in our home. My husband said if he somehow gets a car and continues to drive he is going to have to move out and I understand it. Thank you fir responding.