Parent has dementia stage 7, its been 5 days since her last food and liquid. She’s in a care home and they stopped everything except morphine and seizure meds through IV. She’s been bedbound for 2 years. Couple days ago shes been sleeping all day, unresponsive, and skin getting more and more pale but not blue/purple. Breathing still stable but irregular at times. She’s 52 years old and weighs only 65 pounds. Does anyone have a timeline to when her pain will end?
You can ask the hospice nurses. They see much more end of life than anyone else.
When my dad was in this situation, the hospice nurse said his eye pupils were no longer reacting to light and then said, “if there is anything you have been wanting to say to him, now is the time.” And he passed within 24 hours.
It is heartbreaking that your mother only 52 and in end stage dementia. I wish you and her release from this suffering and peace.
The hospice nurses certainly can give a better assessment on that than any of us can. At 52, her organs are still "young", her heart.....I am sure between the morphine and the care home staff, she is comfortable.
I wish you peace. I wish her peace.
This surely now is a Hospice patient?
If so, I would speak with them.
Watch Nurse Julie on youtube. She has a WEALTH of information for you as to what to watch for.
One would think that debility so bad that the weigh is minimal would mean things would go more quickly or more easily. That isn't always the case because the body adapts.
I wish you the best. Talk with the experts here, and by that I mean the medical team involved. You will see changes in breathing (look up cheyne-stokes breathing) which will be come more shallow, with some gasps, some cessation of breathing and then resuming again, more shallow respirations. You will see mottling (dappling) of the lower extremities with bluish or purplish discoloration and cooling to the touch.
The only thing I can say about this bodily inability to let go is that the body fights long to survive, often long after all are ready for rest and release. That is the nature of the "machine". And the only good thing is that it makes us pray, eventually, for release.
Only you are concerned with the timeline , mom isn’t .
I know it’s hard to watch . Don’t feel like you have to sit with her 24/7 . Many wait until they are alone to die and that’s ok .