My 99-year-old mother has lived with my husband and me for 7 years now. I retired at age 65 so I could take care of her since her Alzheimer's had reached the point she could no longer be left alone. I deduct $300 per month from her checking account to cover her expenses--food, diapers, clothes, piddle pads on bed, Christmas gifts, etc. Am I allowed to charge her 1/3rd of our home owner's insurance, electric and water bill, property taxes, xfinity and cable television etc. since our home is now her home, too? (She sold her house when she moved in with us.)
You have also become an unpaid Care Save as well. If she sold her own home and moved in yours, she obviously has some significant money stashed from that. Since she is single, she is exempt from Capital Gains taxes to the IRS, on the first $250,000 net equity she made.
Before feeling guilty about the cost of your Mom, ask yourself:
-Did your Mom take care of her own aging parents when she retired?
-Did your Mom financially support her aging parents for 7 years or more?
-Does she get the benefits of your utilities you pay (water, electricity, cable) or use your washing machine/dryer for her own clothes?
-Does she buy and prepare her own food, or do you do all the shopping, cooking and meals for Mom?
This kind of gives you an idea of WHY living in AL or similar facilities is so expensive. Life is not FREE RIDE.
I may be wrong but I wouldn’t classify that as your income
"Do I have to declare the income?" that you are taking from your mother.
Now, I sense this is more of an income tax reporting question.
If it is paying for her expenses, including her share of housing expenses, like a roommate, I don't think you have to consider that income. You aren't really gaining more income from her contribution to household expenses, and using her money to buy her items is not income for you. It's like if I gave my debit card to a friend to go shopping for me, because I can't go to the store. And, sharing equally in the heating and cooling of the house is just what responsible adults sharing a household do.
I would still document everything and save receipts, so that later down the line if anyone has reason to question how you were using her funds, to show you were not taking money from her, which could be considered financial abuse of an elder.
Does anyone have POA for your mother's finances? Is it you? The POA could agree to reasonable costs associated with her care, including payments to a caregiver (you). If you have POA, you need to document all expenses and have a clear paper trail of how her money is being spent.
What happens to her checking account, and any other assets when she dies?
At 99, with Alzheimer's, I don't imagine she has many years left. It doesn't sound like she will ever need to apply for Medicaid assistance. And if her money goes to you when she dies, and no other family members will contest this, I don't think it really matters at this point how you spend her money, as long as you are making sure her needs are met.
If someone else has POA, then make a written agreement with them to charge mom rent or 1/3rd of housing expenses, and payment for you as caregiver.
My Mom lives in a house that we own. I print out a detailed, itemized invoice that shows things like utilities, prop taxes, rental insurance, maintenance (like yard services), cable, a small food cost contribution, etc. I recalc this invoice at the beginning of every year and the invoice doesn't change unless there's some bigger unexpected cost that is hers to cover. These rules can vary by state so it is best to talk to a professional who practices in your home state.