Staff knows but does not seem like its a priority/ unwilling to medicate more
not fair to my mom who is bedridden and forced to endure ongoing disturbing cries for help seems to me a basic right to not be subjected to that but I dont see it written in patient rights
The facility has a rule that if you complain YOU have to be the one that has to move. I dont want to move my mom, the room is good. I am hoping the facility will move the new person, I will keep carefully asking.
it took me going through my mom being discharged from a previous facility to learn that I dont want that to happen again. It was very hard to find another. Nursing homes have waiting lists to get in. So I try to be so careful about confrontations with management. It is hard but I am trying to be very polite.
I also have seen over the years how medicines dont always work as well as you hope on different people. They dont want to/arent allowed by law to drug people to the point where they are sleeping all the time.
the right to a normal noise level is ambiguous wording, and not enforceable. The difference between a private room is hundreds of dollars more a day!
i pray my mom will pass in her sleep one day and be free of all this.
bless us all!
Much depends on your approach.
If you go begging and pleading and crying to the admins you have a MUCH BETTER CHANCE, in all truth. If you say "Please, this is months now. I understand all your limitations in dealing with this and you have my DEEPEST sympathy, but it's so bad I pray my mom will pass to be protected. I understand you can only do what you can do, but please, please please"....................you will have a better chance than demands. Because I agree with you that the answer will be "You would be happier somewhere else" which we can translate to "Get the heck out of Dodge if you don't like it".
I DO sympathize with their limitations. I see you do as well.
And yes, like so many more you will come to sign hugely with relief when your mom is finished with what now is really a crucible to live through, not real life.
I am so sorry.
I think you always understood there's really no way out of this.
I would go a begging, myself. I would try that and know I had tried it all.
There isn't any fix here. I say over and over this is a very imperfect world with end of life care.
So the roommate is still there and still screaming?
Nothing is resolved?
And they won't move the roommate?
1. Did you speak with ombudsman?
2. Did you read elisny's reply below about federal right of a residence in care?
3. Did you present the administration with a copy of these rights?
4. Have you looked for other facilities that might accept your loved one?
5. Does this poor roomie have family? Are they not concerned that she is in such dire straits and without any evaluation for some medications that may relieve her from this torment?
Can you tell us what actions you have taken so far that were not so far of any benefit whatsoever?
This is unusual. Generally a resident such as this out of control roomie is sent to acute care for evaluation and for medication trials to see what works to bring the resident some peace. Your mom is suffering; but so is this poor woman.
He paid me to move out. :)
He ended up paying me to move out.
Staff can only medicate a person according to doctor's orders.
Best to ask if you can move Mom to another room and another facility if no rooms are available.
If you are unable to come to an agreement with the Nursing Home, see if a state Ombudsman can help you.
https://ltcombudsman.org/
I was told that i had to make a "formal complaint". I said do you have a form or do I need to have my attorney write one up.
Boom!
The family was contacted the same day.
Getting good quality sleep can be so conducive to the well being in older people. Snfs, AL, hospitals etc. Could keep a lot of health issues at bay just by giving attention to this matter. Patients can't help keeping others up, but the institutions can find solutions that benefit everyone. Sleep is a major healing agent and older people should not be denied uninterrupted sleep for any reason.
42 CFR § 483.10 - Resident rights.
(i) Safe environment. The resident has a right to a safe, clean, comfortable and homelike environment, including but not limited to receiving treatment and supports for daily living safely. The facility must provide—
(7) For the maintenance of comfortable sound levels.
https://www.law.cornell.edu/cfr/text/42/483.10
Thank you for this from federal regulations. It is invaluable to have, I think.
Wonder if you could do me a favor, as I just used this from you to answer another op about a podiatrist that did her mom an injury in care.
Could you post this in Discussions under "Federal Policy Rules and Regulations regarding Resident Rights in LTC." If you put that link there we can always access it. I am not hooked to a printer and hard for me to store stuff, but I would love easy access to this.
Thanks again for posting this.
Written communication is legal documentation.
I hesitate to have him admitted to a nursing home for so many reasons, but one thing I would ask the staff is to put him in a room on his own or with someone who can't hear. I can't imagine subjecting another resident to that kind of harrassment!
I can't stand it when I'm home with him - I have to go outside.
Stick to your guns and keep insisting your mom be moved to another room!
Or have her moved to another facility!
True personal. in the facility, my roommate is a smoker, I'm not. We were pared together, one reason mentioned was that he would be out of the room, often, (which he was) to smoke.
I am beginning to be concerned if my husband needs a facility, he may be a help, help offender. Fortunately, it is not constant but he often looks at me and answers he doesn't know when I ask what he needs. If I suggest maybe he needs to go to the bathroom or walk around he often says yes. If he says yes to the bathroom he either really needs to go or he just went in his brief and needs a change. Staff members in a facility often don't have time to get to know the residents to find simple solutions to improve annoying situations.
Often, I have to just know him well enough to guess what his discontent is.
One thing I have found is that when he is super agitated for long periods of time, it usually means that he is ready to have a bowel movement. But, with no control over it, it is very stressful for him! So, he is uncomfortable and yells a lot! Then, once he has finally had a bowel movement and has been cleaned up, then he is so comfortable and worn out, he will be quietly subdued for the remainder of the day.
Everyone needs to educate themselves, because facilities violate the laws right and left and up and down.
How many people on this forum believe there are legal limited visiting hours in a nursing home? For the most part, they would be incorrect.
42 CFR § 483.10(f)(4)
(ii) The facility must provide immediate access to a resident by immediate family and other relatives of the resident, subject to the resident's right to deny or withdraw consent at any time;
(iii) The facility must provide immediate access to a resident by others who are visiting with the consent of the resident, subject to reasonable clinical and safety restrictions and the resident's right to deny or withdraw consent at any time;
* Find out what their policy is and their legal obligations.
And, as others have said, this behavior is very common in individuals with dementia so you might need to transfer her to another facility and pay for a private room.
It is a very unfortunate and difficult situation for many.
Gena / Touch Matters
So far as I know, there IS no solution to this, even private rooms unless they are sound proof. Blasting Admin with a recording might be a quick way to get a suggestion that you might be more comfortable in a different facility. If the ‘help helper’ is your own relative, you probably feel differently.
My MIL was in a rehab facility where a patient was also doing it. Wasn't in her room, but was clearly heard by all in the very tiny facility. No one sleeps well while trying to recover from their injuries/illnesses. When my MIL was in a LTC facility with a roommate who was disruptive, we asked that either she be moved or the roommate. It happened more than once over the years and she was always accommodated.
I so hope those building new facilities make the rooms for one person. A closet, a dresser, side table and hospital bed. It would so make things easier all around.
Seriously, it is and will always be about the money, The only surefire way OP's mom would be moved is if she could "strike back" at the other resident. Since mom is bedridden, then this makes it easier for the facility to keep her where she is. (what is mom going to do? get out of bed and hit her?)
Whoever approved the room assignments probably knows this.
Another true story in the facility, there was a resident who moved several times to different rooms Why? She was a real firecracker, and would argue, almost to the point of hitting her roommate. To keep the peace she was able to move, which would last all of a few days, then the issue would start again. Had to give it to her, she took no mess.
End result she was discharged after an accusation of hitting a nurse. The facility put her up in a motel for a week until she could plan her next steps. I hope she is doing okay. She is a real "fighter"