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I just read this:

Those who don't consume food or water usually only live for another three to 10 days. Psychological and spiritual factors may also influence this timeframe. Some patients seem to hold on until they sense their family is ready to cope or a specific event happens, such as a loved one arriving to say goodbye.

I have heard this from several others / medical professionals. The person 'waits' to transition until their family member is ready. This transition is a spiritual realm.

Then I read:

How long can an elderly bedridden person live without food?

In my experience, the average time that a patient can survive without food or fluids is about two weeks, though I have seen patients survive days and even over a month.
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I understand you are mentally and emotionally exhausted.
Don't know if this helps ... 'try' to not focus on anything but in the moment. Anticipating and feeling you need to 'do something' while waiting may cause you undo stress.

I would try to relax into the flow of what is happening, appreciating the moments you have, reflecting on her life - the good times. And, not be 'too much' in your head. Although take care of yourself as you need to - take a warm bath ... go out for lunch or to the park. Do what feels good to you now to manage the mental and emotional exhaustion.

Or I wonder if your question reflects feelings of "I am so mentally and physically exhausted, I want this to be over." And, then how you feel about feeling or thinking this way?

I am grieving a huge loss now myself. I am flowing with whatever comes up and out, not analyzing it ... just being with it.

Being present and taking care of yourself is what I would recommend.

Gena / Touch Matters
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Usually, a person can go for over a week with very little food. Without water, usually a person passes in less than a week.
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Thats because she’s from the greatest generation who were the strongest too ..my mom is 98 and still going even though she’s immobile, incontinent, dementia..eats but not a lot ..drinks boost ..we just sat outside today..I wish you and your mom all the best. You can ask her if she’s in any pain, so they can give her painkillers if necessary. Hugs 🤗
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As a RN, I have been at many a bedside death. It will be soon. It may help to tell her it is OK for her to let go and be at peace. If there are other important people in her life, have them come and say their good byes. Assure her that any concerns - pet, home, business - is already being taken care of. If she is religious, have her faith leader come in to pray or give last rites. I find that people hold on until whatever "life business" is complete. I also find that those who are Christians generally have the most peaceful passing.
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It sounds like it will be soon. (((Hugs))).
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My parent lasted 9 days without food or beverages.
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Spend this time however it gives you and her peace. Tell her it is ok. Keep her as pain free as possible. Stay in close touch with hospice. Try not to be pressured into “when”. It sounds like you are worried about the time away from your job. I hope your immediate supervisor and/or HR person are supportive and will work with you at this difficult time. Do what you can - not what you can’t and be at peace with what you were able to do. If there are family or friends who can help, let them. This is an emotional event that you can’t control. No one can. Do the best you can. Breathe and keep yourself hydrated. I hope to follow my own advice when the time comes. It can’t be easy.
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M mom passed away this morning, she went 25 days with no food. We started giving her morphine and Lorazepam to help her relax on Friday and it seemed to speed up the process. She is no longer in pain and finally at peace. Thank you all so much for your advice.
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Llamalover47 Jul 29, 2025
jeepgirl0909: I am so sorry. Deep sympathy.
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My friend's sister deliberately decided not to eat and drink anymore because she was tired of living with her incurable illness. It took ten days to two weeks for her to pass.
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I’m sorry for your loss. Also sorry it was such a long and hard road. My mother lived three full weeks after food was discontinued, surprising to all involved. I wish you healing and peace
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My mom passed away in hospice 2 weeks after she left the hospital. My dad passed away a week after he left the hospital. It really all depends on their bodies and how fast their organs start shutting down. I was told this by a nurse. Hospice is a good place for our loved ones to be when they pass over.I’m sorry for your loss.
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