Hi, my 96 year old mother is at the end of life. Hospice told me on Monday that she would be passing soon. They didn’t hear any movement in her stomach, so her organs are shutting down. Today is day 13 with no food. She is still taking sips of water throughout the day.
My question is, has anyone else experienced this? She is bed bound. She pees in a diaper and sleeps all day and night. How long did your loved one go with only drinking water and no eating?
I am using my FMLA from work to be with her at the end, but I’m just not sure that it’s coming any time soon even though she’s so frail and weak. I keep thinking every day that I wake up, she’ll be gone, but she just keeps going. I’m mentally and emotionally exhausted.
Those who don't consume food or water usually only live for another three to 10 days. Psychological and spiritual factors may also influence this timeframe. Some patients seem to hold on until they sense their family is ready to cope or a specific event happens, such as a loved one arriving to say goodbye.
I have heard this from several others / medical professionals. The person 'waits' to transition until their family member is ready. This transition is a spiritual realm.
Then I read:
How long can an elderly bedridden person live without food?
In my experience, the average time that a patient can survive without food or fluids is about two weeks, though I have seen patients survive days and even over a month.
- - - - - - - - - - - - -
I understand you are mentally and emotionally exhausted.
Don't know if this helps ... 'try' to not focus on anything but in the moment. Anticipating and feeling you need to 'do something' while waiting may cause you undo stress.
I would try to relax into the flow of what is happening, appreciating the moments you have, reflecting on her life - the good times. And, not be 'too much' in your head. Although take care of yourself as you need to - take a warm bath ... go out for lunch or to the park. Do what feels good to you now to manage the mental and emotional exhaustion.
Or I wonder if your question reflects feelings of "I am so mentally and physically exhausted, I want this to be over." And, then how you feel about feeling or thinking this way?
I am grieving a huge loss now myself. I am flowing with whatever comes up and out, not analyzing it ... just being with it.
Being present and taking care of yourself is what I would recommend.
Gena / Touch Matters