At 92 last summer mom finally stopped going outside, finally stopped going upstairs. Now she doesn't go in the kitchen much. From her hospice bed in the dining room, she gets up to eat at the table in front of her, maybe walks around the table once. If she doesn't go in her briefs, or her potty, she might make a trip to the toilet. She sleeps a lot. Struggles to get up out of a chair, that is tough to watch. I have always wondered how people become bedridden, if they don't have a fall.
I'm sorry it is tough for you to see her growing old and weak. It is part of the natural life cycle. And, if she is relatively healthy, she could go on for many more years like this, even without mobility.
Please make sure to get a wheelchair so you have it ready when she can no longer stand and walk. For safety, as she could fall and get seriously injured as her legs weaken.
Bedridden is so sad...I would want to fall asleep and never wake up. I agree it must be hard to watch.
You mention her hospice bed. Which I guess means she is in home hospice care. If so, please talk to the nurse and/ or call nurse coordinator or social worker at your hospice provider. They have see this many, many times and can reassure you on what is going on and how you are feeling about it. The should offer spiritual counseling as well. Please make use of their services! They are as much for the caregiver as they are for the person.
When my dad was first in home hospice, his nurse kept telling my mom that this inability to walk/ stand was coming but she couldn’t mentally process it. The nurse was right though. It happened to him and it happens to everyone unless they pass more suddenly. In retrospect, I am grateful that my dad’s time at that stage was relatively brief. My mom and I found it very confusing and hard to think of anything else.
You have my sympathies.
He could do something one day and literally the next day he could not do the very same thing. He went from walking one day to not walking the next. I think he was having little strokes. the fact that he was non verbal for years, he had previously broken a hip so he was using a walker and his arms, hands had begun to contract maybe a stroke was not as noticeable as it would have been in a "healthy" person.
You might want to talk to the Hospice Nurse and CNA about declines and what they notice.
As a person declines they do stop doing a lot of moving around. It is one of the ways that the body is conserving energy. The energy is used to keep the heart beating, lungs moving air and other functions operating.
She will get to the point where it will be safer and more comfortable for her to keep her in bed. That is how many become bedridden without a fall.
The first wooden chair with armrest we bought from Wayfair broke after 3 months. It was cheap junk. Mom only weighed about 120 pounds at this point.
The second wooden kitchen chair with arms we bought from an Amish furniture store. It was made from solid wood and will last a hundred years. It was made to order and took about 6 weeks to get. The Amish lady was willing to loan her personal kitchen chair with arms for Mom. It was so kind and sweet.
Mom was a lifetime walker and extremely active even in her decline.
Mom battled Alzheimer's for around 18-20 years.
I believe in Mom's case her brain forgot how to stand and how to tell her body to take a step. She still had muscle tone when she could no longer stand or take a step.
When Mom could no longer stand or take a step we went to bedbound. I'd pushed walking for many years as it was the only daily joy Mom had. We never used the wheelchair much as it is dangerous to family and caregivers when the loved one can no longer stand and pivot, or take a step, or take direction.
The one thing I've learned from this is how protective even a little bit off walking is to life.
I called in hospice when Mom became bedbound.
Again, prayers to you.