Good morning all! I am my mother's Representative payee and POA. As such, I can't get paid for being her primary caregiver. I'm thinking about turning this (except for the medical POA) over to someone else so that I can be compensated, as I am not able to work outside the home due to her needs. (It's been over a yr since I've been able to work) Her living with me is a very recent thing, but I need to at least be able to pay my property taxes!! Has anyone else been in this position and done anything simular?? I've been the only responsible party for her since '03 and we have NO other family in this area. I'm very uncertain about this but see no other option. Your advice would be much appreciated :-) Thanks so much and have a great day!
If you had a definite career path, that will be interrupted, and you can't regain that. I'm not saying it's more important that caring for your mother; I'm suggesting that leaving the work force has longer term implications than you might realize now.
And bluntly, although I understand your position, since you've quit work to care for your mother, I think that should be your first focus, not getting paid. The issue is how to find additional care so you can still work.
You don't mention your mother's limitations. Can she walk, feed herself, toilet herself? Your profile only states "age related decline" as her limitations. What specific kind of help does she need?
Others have used the services of home care and/or private duty nursing/help. That might be something to explore; if you're working, and/or if your mother has enough to pay you as her caregiver, you could alternately hire an agency and continue to work.
In addition, YOU can't "turn over" your proxy responsibilities to anyone; that's not within your authority.
Incidentally, who would you expect to pay you, other than your mother?
You can't look back over the last year you spent caring for mom, but you can look forward. Is mom of sound mind? Is she willing to compensate you in other ways such as sole beneficiary to an annuity, stock, insurance or other that could fairly compensate you for upcoming years? Can you go back to work and get in-home care to come in a few hours a week that would come out of mom's savings, monthly income (SS, retirement dispersement, etc.)?
You talk that you want to be able to pay your property tax -- how were you managing to pay bills before? If not working is making it difficult for you both to manage, and she is not able to chip in on expenses (where was she living before?); what happened to the proceeds from that property?
You need to consult your financial advisor or elder law attorney and find some options that preserve you and your mom's wealth. If you can't make it not working, then you must consider going back to work. That may mean that mom has to enter residential care or senior apts or other.
Mom's care needs will only increase exponentially as she ages; you need to read more thru this website and see what your future holds as a sole-caregiver then carefully assess your present and future situation. Don't let this go on -- you seem overwhelmed already over finances and you are just one year in...wait til the other stresses of caregiving, doctor appts, elder-sitting, loss of friends/outings/vacations, chronic illnesses, memory loss, paranoia, etc. set in. There are many here who are committed, selfless, saints who do this as a labor or love everyday; others out of guilt, others because they opened the door to a dark tunnel they can't get out of.
BUT, be very careful paying yourself from her money.....this can be construed as abuse.
You need a written employment contract with your mom. You will need to figure out how to pay payroll taxes and social security taxes too. Usually it is simpler to hire a payroll accountant to deal with it.
Expect you siblings to accuse you of stealing your Moms money.
All and all, you are better off going and getting a job and letting your mom pay for her in home aide through a private party
I suggest you consult an Elder Law specialist to ensure everything is set up properly and in a way that won't cause legal questions in the future.
Thank you for your suggestions and forewarning of... Oh yea, what I'm already living in. By the way she does have a nurse and is receiving an aide for personal care (showering/bird baths) 3x a week