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She just sold her home and daughter is a widow, won't live on her own, has grown children. Expects everything. Wont help out. Wont get a job. She is 50 years old, Mother has health issues. What can I do to help.

Much depends on whether your friend is of sound mind and choosing to let her daughter live with her and treat her the way you describe. If your friend is mentally stable and chooses this, nothing will change. Many elderly parents of dysfunctional adult children choose to support their bad habits and lifestyles. It may hurt to see them being used but they are choosing it, even when it’s unwise. If your friend has mental decline like dementia, you should report the situation to the county Adult Protective Services so they can investigate possible elder abuse or neglect.
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Reply to Daughterof1930
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Nothing. Only your friend has the power to change her circumstances. If you see anything out of sorts, like your friend's health seems extremely poor, then maybe consider reporting her to APS. Just keep in mind that your friend may still tell APS "everything is fine". Even if you called 911, she may resist going. It's hard to stand by and watch the slo-mo train wreck. Being a spectator is the only thing you're able to do. Or not.
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Reply to Geaton777
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Call Adult Protective Services. Better safe than sorry.
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Reply to MG8522
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You can mind your own business. If your friend has a voice, she needs to use it and let her daughter know it's unacceptable to be "sleeping on a mat" or any other issue she finds intolerable. If your friend has any cognitive impairment going on, beware that it's very common to make up stories about abuse from others (known as confabulation). If that isn't the case, your friend does not have to support her daughter or take orders from her at all. She's free to say no.

Good luck.
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Reply to lealonnie1
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Nothing. You didn't cause it, and mother is allowing it. If you're determined to help, ask police for a wellness check on the mother. You can also report the situation to adult protective services in your area. But don't get personally involved. It's not safe for you.

I'm sorry this has happened to your friend.
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Reply to Fawnby
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She told you her daughter literally makes her sleep on a mat instead of a bed? Have you seen this? Have you been to her home and seen the mat or her lack of bed? This seems extreme if your friend is telling the truth. Could she be exaggerating for sympathy?
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Reply to ShirleyDot
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