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Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
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You don’t have to answer when she calls, you don’t have to call her just because your brother says you should, and you don’t have to talk to him either if you don’t want to.
is your mother living alone? Is this a sign that she has dementia and may need to go to memory care?
You cope by not answering your phone at work and let your mothers calls go to voicemail. Your employer deserves your undivided attention, and your mother and brother need to respect that. It's really all about setting much needed boundaries and then sticking to them. No one can make you do anything if you really don't want to, so time to grow a backbone and learn how to say NO.
Your brother only controls you if you allow it. Let your Mom's calls go to voicemail and just say "no" to your brother. This is called a boundary.
Also, if she's calling you relentlessly, she may be calling other people whose numbers she has or remembers. We found out my MIL, when in AL, was calling people all hours of the day and night due to memory impairment and loss of reason and logic from moderate dementia. Finally one of her long-time friends (who was retired in Hawaii) called us to say her calls were coming at 5am due to the time zone difference. My MIL was using her old school address book, so I erased all their phone numbers. But eventually we had to unplug her phone (pre-flip phone). Then when her dementia progressed, she didn't use even the simplest phone (the kind with large buttons that had pictures of her loved ones on it).
You can wait for things to happen TO you, or you can be proactive and get ahead of the coming care crisis for your Mom by making sure her legal ducks are in a row and that she goes to the doctor to get a thorough physical and cognitive exam. Then, you need to know your boundary when it comes to being involved with her management and care -- do NOT let your brother bully you into doing things you don't want to do. You have a paying job and you need to keep it. This, and your own life, is a priority.
While you are at work there are NO PERSONAL PHONE CALLS. You can say that it is a "new regulation" or a new boss or simply they are monitoring and enforcing standards that have been ignored the past few years.
As to your brother... Unless he is holding a gun to your head, a knife to your throat, threatening your family he can't "MAKE" you call anyone. You set boundaries for you. You call her when you can. .. when you want. If she needs help you help when you can and when you want. If she needs so much help that she is calling you "constantly" or you "have" to call her daily then she needs caregivers that will be there or she needs to be in a facility that has staff that can help her when she needs it.
I did not look at your profile to see if there is any added info about your mom. but if she is unable to live at home without this much support she should not be living at home. OK there is no other info. If mom is bored look for an Adult Day Program or if she is able to get around the local Senior Center has programs she can get involved in. If mom has dementia and you and your brother are "propping her up" so that she can remain "independent"... be honest with your selves, she isn't independent.
In your first post you say you live with Mom. That she doesn't want to do anything unless its with you. Are you an only daughter? Can you live on your own? Because I think you need to move out. A brother telling you what to do? You need to learn to set boundaries. Got someplace to go, just grab your purse and say "See you later Mom".
Every job I ever had, personal phone calls were frowned upon if too many. You need to look Mom in the eye and tell her the phone calls have to stop or you will lose your job. You are not suppose to receive personal phone calls. Hopefully, its on your cell phone your getting these calls. During the day go "Do Not Disturb". If brother says anything tell him that her calls are affecting your work. I can set mine to when it comes on and when it goes off. If work phone, ask if #s can be blocked.
My family was very aware that they were not to call my work unless it was an emergency.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
is your mother living alone? Is this a sign that she has dementia and may need to go to memory care?
It's really all about setting much needed boundaries and then sticking to them. No one can make you do anything if you really don't want to, so time to grow a backbone and learn how to say NO.
Also, if she's calling you relentlessly, she may be calling other people whose numbers she has or remembers. We found out my MIL, when in AL, was calling people all hours of the day and night due to memory impairment and loss of reason and logic from moderate dementia. Finally one of her long-time friends (who was retired in Hawaii) called us to say her calls were coming at 5am due to the time zone difference. My MIL was using her old school address book, so I erased all their phone numbers. But eventually we had to unplug her phone (pre-flip phone). Then when her dementia progressed, she didn't use even the simplest phone (the kind with large buttons that had pictures of her loved ones on it).
You can wait for things to happen TO you, or you can be proactive and get ahead of the coming care crisis for your Mom by making sure her legal ducks are in a row and that she goes to the doctor to get a thorough physical and cognitive exam. Then, you need to know your boundary when it comes to being involved with her management and care -- do NOT let your brother bully you into doing things you don't want to do. You have a paying job and you need to keep it. This, and your own life, is a priority.
You can say that it is a "new regulation" or a new boss or simply they are monitoring and enforcing standards that have been ignored the past few years.
As to your brother...
Unless he is holding a gun to your head, a knife to your throat, threatening your family he can't "MAKE" you call anyone.
You set boundaries for you.
You call her when you can. .. when you want.
If she needs help you help when you can and when you want.
If she needs so much help that she is calling you "constantly" or you "have" to call her daily then she needs caregivers that will be there or she needs to be in a facility that has staff that can help her when she needs it.
I did not look at your profile to see if there is any added info about your mom.
but if she is unable to live at home without this much support she should not be living at home.
OK there is no other info.
If mom is bored look for an Adult Day Program or if she is able to get around the local Senior Center has programs she can get involved in.
If mom has dementia and you and your brother are "propping her up" so that she can remain "independent"... be honest with your selves, she isn't independent.
In your first post you say you live with Mom. That she doesn't want to do anything unless its with you. Are you an only daughter? Can you live on your own? Because I think you need to move out. A brother telling you what to do? You need to learn to set boundaries. Got someplace to go, just grab your purse and say "See you later Mom".
Every job I ever had, personal phone calls were frowned upon if too many. You need to look Mom in the eye and tell her the phone calls have to stop or you will lose your job. You are not suppose to receive personal phone calls. Hopefully, its on your cell phone your getting these calls. During the day go "Do Not Disturb". If brother says anything tell him that her calls are affecting your work. I can set mine to when it comes on and when it goes off. If work phone, ask if #s can be blocked.
My family was very aware that they were not to call my work unless it was an emergency.